Loving My Body as a Radical Act: A Reflection on Belonging

In a world where women are constantly told to shrink themselves,

loving my body has become one of the most radical acts I can commit.

“She wore ill-fitting clothes to hide her substantial womanliness. Bummi never understood why English women did not show off the outline of their fulsomeness. The more fulsome, the better, so long as it was done with decorum. In her culture, a substantial woman was a desirable one.”
— Bernadine Evaristo, Girl, Woman, Other

Like Bummi, I now believe that the fuller and more shapely a woman is, the better. Unlike her, I understand why women in some societies don’t celebrate their shapeliness. Bummi’s Nigerian culture likened fuller breasts, soft stomach, and generous hips to signs of health and beauty. A woman ready to bear fruit.

I share Bummi’s heritage, but I was raised in America, in towns where Black people made up less than one percent of the population. That means most of my perception of beauty, sex appeal, and social belonging was shaped through the white gaze.

Growing Up Tall, Black, and Full-Bodied in a World That Wanted Me Smaller

I have been six foot one since I was thirteen, with thighs, hips, and a waistline that never matched the beauty ideals around me. For years, I held on to stories that told me my height was too masculine and my waist not small enough. My body was judged against a standard I never chose.

But recently, I have been remembering this truth. My spirit and soul are not tethered to my height, my waist, or my curves. My worth is not measured in inches.

Reclaiming My Body Through Music and Movement

When I press play on my dancehall or afrobeats playlist and my soft, strong, flexible waist winds to the beat, my Blackness and my Africanness unearth themselves.

When my long, thick legs twist and jump in rhythmic succession, I feel the inheritance in my body’s movement. It transcends the low vibration of perfectionism and the narrow ideals that once shaped how I viewed myself.

My Body as Celebration

Loving my body is not about reaching a beauty standard. It is about rejecting one. It is embracing the truth that my height, my curves, my strength, and my softness all tell the story of who I am.

My body is glorious simply because it exists. That truth is a celebration. And in a world that asks women to make themselves smaller, that celebration is an act of resistance.

~ Nkem [@Naturallyfree123]