When You Finally See What’s Been Guiding You
Are You Living From Outside Expectations or Your Inner Truth?
Are you living by the standards and ideals around you or by the values and principles that truly matter to you?
When it comes to self-love and living powerfully, do you find yourself following the standards set by others or have you created your own principles that inspire you every day?
Have you ever paused long enough to ask what actually influences your choices?
Are you living according to what matters most to you or according to how others think your life should look?
What Standards and Ideals Really Are
Standards and ideals are expectations that often represent perfection or excellence, but they are usually shaped by others.
They come from family, friends, community, workplace culture, politics, and society as a whole.
When you live according to these external expectations, you begin acting in ways that satisfy others.
This often leads to an inauthentic way of being that does not reflect who you truly are or what inspires you most.
Why Values and Principles Matter More
Values and principles are your personal compass.
They come from what inspires you, what you believe in, and what gives your life meaning.
When you live according to your own principles and values, you:
- Do what you love and what inspires you
- Measure your self-worth by your own standards
- Cultivate self-love by being open to giving and receiving love in all forms
This alignment creates a mindset of self-love and gratitude because your actions resonate deeply with who you are.
My Shift From External Standards to My Own Principles
This became clear to me during a difficult relationship.
I found myself caught between two thoughts:
“No one has to be the same person tomorrow as they were today.”
“No one who loves me would hurt me like this.”
Both thoughts came from standards and ideals I absorbed from the world around me.
I had no clear personal values guiding my love life.
Instead of owning my role, I blamed the men I dated for not meeting expectations I never created for myself.
The real issue was that my own ways of being were blocking love.
The challenge became discovering my own principles and values, beginning with how much I valued myself and the minimum love I was willing to accept for a relationship to flourish.
Once I created a vision of a mutually abundant relationship and stood firmly inside it, everything shifted.
I began to see men, relationships, and myself through a completely new lens. This opened up possibilities for love and for every area of my life.
How to Stay True to Your Principles in a World Full of Noise
We often let external expectations overpower the personal values we set for ourselves.
The more self-aware you become about your ways of being, the easier it is to notice when you’re slipping into someone else’s expectations.
Once you see it, you can gently move those aside and return to your values as your guiding light.
Build the Muscle of Self-Awareness
Be patient and kind with yourself as you practice this awareness.
Give yourself space to strengthen this muscle until living authentically becomes second nature.
I’d love to hear the principles and values that inspire you to live powerfully and love yourself wholeheartedly.
Find me on Instagram @ambersabourin.
Love always,
Amberly
