Take the Wheel on Your Dating Life: A Guide for Women

How I Learned About Dating

I started dreaming about dating long before I was old enough to do it. I began at sixteen, and over the next five years I experienced my share of relationships. Each one taught me something about myself and helped me understand what I truly want out of life. From jocks to nerds and yes, even the British boys (note: stay far away from them), dating has been an adventure in self-discovery.

Stop Projecting Your Expectations

Most of us walk into relationships imagining the perfect life with someone special. We create an entire future in our minds and quietly project that expectation onto the other person. We forget that they are individuals with their own desires, their own timing, and their own path. Expecting someone to fulfill your vision of perfect will only lead to disappointment.

Dating Isn’t About Marriage

Society and media pressure us to have everything figured out by twenty-two. The truth is that most of us are still discovering who we are. I used to treat dating as a direct path to marriage, which made everything feel heavy and complicated. Eventually I realized dating isn’t an obstacle course. It’s exploration. It’s curiosity. It’s connection.

When you stop dating only for marriage, your dating pool expands. You meet people you never would have considered, people who don’t fit the mold you imagined but still bring laughter, support, and presence into your life.

Focus on What Really Matters

Dating is not about money, looks, or social status. It’s about shared experience, emotional connection, and mutual respect. The superficial markers we glamorize rarely create anything lasting.

Ask yourself why you are attracted to someone. In my last failed relationship, I was drawn to a man simply because he was cute and British. I imagined a life with him before understanding his own goals or his heart. That mistake is more common than we admit.

Women, Take Control of Your Dating Life

As women, we often forget how much power we have. With a few swipes we can meet new people, explore possibilities, and shape the kind of romantic life we want. Fear of judgment or slut shaming should never limit our choices or our curiosity.

When you stop dating only to settle down, you become more liberated and more honest with yourself. You get clearer about your desires, your standards, and what brings you joy both in a partner and in your life.

What Dating Has Taught Me

I learned to stop projecting unrealistic expectations onto partners. I learned dating isn’t only for marriage but for self-discovery. I learned to value emotional connection above superficial traits. I learned to embrace the power I have as a woman to explore, choose, and learn. And I learned that every relationship teaches me something about myself.

Dating is a journey of discovery, laughter, curiosity, and learning — not a checklist created to meet someone else’s expectations. Take the wheel, and enjoy the ride.

~ Kaitlyn [@kat.malonee]