57 Days: A Love Story Practicing Presence and Emotional Growth in Marriage

The Miracle of Everyday Moments

It’s 8pm, and I feel like I’ve taken my first breath of the day. My body relaxes into the couch while my husband—who loves food almost as much as he loves me—is in the kitchen cooking a special Shabbat dinner.

I glance at one of my plants (yes, I’ve become obsessed since COVID) and gasp at a new sprout. Tears well up immediately.

“You see how not present I am,” I say out loud.

My husband sits beside me. “What if you could just appreciate the beauty instead of making yourself wrong?” he says.

Gratitude flows. Presence is learned in these small, everyday miracles.

Emotional Highs and Lows in Marriage

And then he takes a loud gulp from my water glass, and suddenly I can’t stand him.

This perfectly sums up the past 57 days—emotional intensity, love, frustration, and growth, all rolled into one. These experiences have pushed me to explore new forms of emotional expression, moving beyond my brain and into my body. There has been growing, shifting, shaking, and leaning into discomfort. I’ve allowed myself to feel emotions I once labeled as “bad,” trying for years to be perfect—whatever that even means.

Irritability and Relationship Challenges

Irritability has been real. My loving, supportive, perfect husband has been driving me crazy. We’re spending more time together than ever and navigating uncharted territory as a couple.

At first, I wondered whether something was wrong.

Then I came across a post by @lindsayellenrein:

“The goal here is not to change each other,” her therapist said. “The goal is to tolerate your differences.”

I burst into tears.

Accepting Differences in Marriage

I’m learning to see every part of my husband—the parts I adore and the parts that frustrate me. These differences, while challenging, are not obstacles. They are part of the growth process.

By acknowledging our differences while honoring our shared values, we practice compassion, respect, emotional resilience, and constructive communication. This awareness has shifted my perspective from viewing conflict as something “wrong” to seeing it as an opportunity for growth—individually and as a couple.

The Journey of Love and Growth

We are learning to hold space for our differences while moving forward together. These differences make us who we are—the people we fell in love with and the partners we chose.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll share the specific challenges we’re navigating and a step-by-step guide for processing differences in your own relationship.

Until then, I breathe, practice compassion, cry, and probably order more plants.

~ @fromloafttolifter