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Britney Lee Through the Lens

Bare Model Feature

Britney Lee In Frame

Our first photo shoot together a few months ago was unforgettable. When we decided to create something new, the images moved with a quiet energy I didn’t expect. Britney Lee has a look you notice instantly. The red hair. The freckles. The softness in her curves. The same softness seen in Alejandra’s Denver portrait. The calm presence. When I met her, she felt like the embodiment of a Bare Model. No makeup. Real shape. A natural silhouette with texture and ease. Her body is fully her own, from the curve of her hips to the cellulite that catches the light. A reminder of Bianca’s sunlit stretch mark study — raw skin in daylight.

A Bare Model In Natural Light

Photographing her felt effortless. Every frame carried the feeling of an editorial portrait rather than a posed moment. The final edits surprised me in the best way. They captured britney lee photos that felt honest and modern, the kind of quiet beauty that belongs in a bare model feature. Once I saw everything together, I was genuinely in awe. I cannot wait to share our third shoot soon.

Close up portrait of Britney Lee showing her natural freckles, green eyes, and soft expression.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Britney Lee standing in neon lingerie, red hair loose, freckles glowing, embracing her curves with natural confidence.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Britney Lee standing tall, showcasing her natural figure and full curves, red hair flowing, body-positive and makeup-free.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Color portrait of Britney Lee seated, red hair undone, makeup-free with visible tummy rolls, celebrating effortless beauty.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Britney Lee posing in natural light, showing her curves, red hair, and freckled face turned over her shoulder.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Read Britney’s full Bare Model feature →

How a Raw, Bare Vision Became a Movement: The Story Behind SMV’s $20,000 Kickstarter Triumph

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With more than 140,000 followers back in 2019 and over 37,000 posts on the #SundayMorningView hashtag reaching over 300,000 people SMV became more than a magazine. It became a community.

How a Raw, Bare Vision Became a Movement:

The Story Behind SMV’s $20,000 Kickstarter Triumph

A Movement Was Born From a Raw Vision

On November 19, 2023, a 30 day Kickstarter campaign quietly crossed the 20299 mark an extraordinary milestone for a small independent publication with a big rebellious vision. SundayMorningView (SMV), once the underdog of digital media, transformed overnight into a natural beauty movement that redefined what an online magazine for women could be. The video that powered the campaign raw emotional unfiltered did what glossy ads could never achieve. It told the truth.
And that truth resonated.

A New Kind of Magazine Emerges

When SMV launched in 2015, it started with one revolutionary idea.
A new kind of online magazine for women one that inspires women to be natural sexy strong and wholly themselves.

Mainstream beauty culture had long trained women to believe their value was conditional dependent on how much they could retouch reshape or cover. SMV pushed back. The mission was never to fix women but to free them.

Welcome to our Kickstarter campaign the founders wrote.
Here you can help us raise funds to become the magazine that helps women feel beautiful.

Their message was radical because it was real.

Why the World Needed SMV

Model Quiana Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Fashion magazines and media outlets relied on fabricated beauty airbrushed skin softened bodies and curated illusions. SMV created a counterculture rooted in authentic women’s empowerment and a return to real beauty standards.

Instead of manipulation it celebrated natural beauty.
Instead of perfection it celebrated truth.
Instead of insecurity it celebrated confidence.

Model Angelina Love Photographed by Karlo Gomez

SMV became a home for humor education health travel relationships sensuality and above all real women photographed with no makeup no retouching and no digital body manipulation. Every story became an act of rebellion against the idea that only one type of woman is worthy. The movement reflected a powerful body confidence shift that women around the world needed.

The Rise of the SundayGirl

Model Britney Lee Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Every Sunday one woman was honored not for fitting beauty standards but for breaking them.

No dresses. No heels. No extensions. No filters. No makeup. Just her.

Model Angelina Love Photographed by Karlo Gomez

The SundayGirl became a symbol of courage self acceptance and unfiltered femininity. These portraits were not just photographs they were declarations.And women listened.

A Global Community Emerges

With more than 140000 followers and over 37000 posts using the SundayMorningView hashtag in 2019 SMV became far more than a magazine. It became a community a sanctuary and a home for women who needed to feel represented in a real and unfiltered way.

A home for the woman who thinks she is not beautiful enough
The woman with cellulite or stretch marks
The woman with extra weight
The woman who feels unseen
The woman sun kissed in every shade

SMV was for all women.

2019 statistics made the mission urgent.
Only 4 percent of women consider themselves beautiful
72 percent of girls feel pressure to be beautiful
54 percent of women admit they are their own worst beauty critic

SMV made one truth undeniable. This had to change.

The Kickstarter That Shifted Everything

The mission was bold. The goal was ambitious. The timing was uncertain.
And yet the community showed up.

Every pledge did more than fund a magazine. It fueled a new chapter in the natural beauty movement and helped future generations see themselves differently.

Funds helped SMV hire editors and writers grow a photography studio expand the magazine’s infrastructure and launch global campaigns. One of the most impactful was the I Woke Up Like This series where more than 300 women submitted morning videos with no makeup to celebrate real confidence and unfiltered storytelling.

SMV team at the office, 2019

SMV also produced empowering events with Ulta Beauty Capital One Café and Gillette Venus each one designed to elevate natural beauty and authentic women’s empowerment.

Our Ulta Beauty “no-makeup makeup” event, featuring top beauty brands such as MAC Cosmetics and Dermalogica, who provided skincare and makeup products while teaching women how to achieve a natural, no-makeup makeup look through expert tutorials.

Our exclusive women’s entrepreneur event with Capital One Café in Glendale, California at The Americana at Brand brought together over 300 women, offering real support and resources to help aspiring businesswomen launch their ideas, grow their startups, and get their feet off the ground.

We hosted free photoshoots at Pepperdine University to help college women feel naturally beautiful. Women came together to be photographed, celebrate their real beauty, and embrace confidence in their own skin.

SMV team at the office, 2019

Backers did not just give money.
They gave women hope.

A New Chapter SMV Becomes OBARE

Today the original vision evolves.
SMV the magazine that taught women to love their raw beauty is now OBARE.
A new identity. A new era. The same unwavering mission.

The Magazine That’s Real

OBARE believes beauty is not created it is revealed.
A woman without makeup can be just as beautiful as a woman with it.
We reject the manufactured ideals pushed by traditional magazines and media ideals built on cosmetic surgery, heavy makeup, and airbrushing.
We reject a world that edits reality.

Instagram censors our truth for going against their guidelines, while allowing AI-generated distortions to thrive.
But we refuse to hide what is real.

The Magazine That Is Real

OBARE believes beauty is not created it is revealed.

We reject manufactured ideals heavy airbrushing cosmetic illusions and a culture that edits away reality. Social platforms censor bare skin and real bodies while allowing artificial distortions to thrive. OBARE refuses to hide what is real.

Why We Rebranded

The shift from SundayMorningView to OBARE was intentional. Going bare means stripping away the fake and returning to truth. The O represents a camera lens our perspective our gaze our clarity.

OBARE celebrates women exactly as they are unfiltered natural and honest.
Finally something that is real.

Bare Models Who Are They

Model Sharon Clawson Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Bare Models are the embodiment of OBARE. They are not conventional fashion models. They are everyday women baristas students mothers athletes each carrying a story worth telling and worth celebrating within the natural beauty movement.

Model Bianca Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Their sensuality is not manufactured. It is self owned. Whether in lingerie topless or captured in artistic nude Bare Models choose how they express themselves. Confidence itself is sexy.

Model Apolonia Calleja Photographed by Karlo Gomez

They are not selling an illusion. They are celebrating the raw unfiltered beauty of real women reclaiming their power.

What OBARE Stands For

Holistic Beauty
We believe in nourishing the body the mind and the spirit until confidence becomes a natural state.

Cultural Diversity
Representation shapes identity and gives women permission to be themselves.

Health and Fitness
Beauty thrives when you honor your entire body not through diets but through movement strength and intention.

Community
We are building a space where women and men uplift each other. Becoming your best self is not the exception here. It is the expectation.

OBARE The Magazine That Is Real

The Kickstarter was not just a fundraiser.
It was a promise.
A commitment to build a world where women feel seen celebrated and powerful in their natural form.

And now the journey continues. The movement grows. The vision expands.
OBARE is here.
And beauty will never look the same again.

The Curve of Alejandra

Bare Model Feature

A Summer Session Begins

It’s July 18, 2022, and I’ve been in Denver, Colorado for a few days now. It’s been hot and a little muggy, and by 11 a.m. the day finally came for me to meet and photograph Alejandra in person. But the moment we arrived at my studio, the AC went out. Four hours later it was fixed, leaving us only two hours to shoot. We went straight into work mode, and somehow, we still captured some stunning images.

Black and white photo of a woman in sheer lingerie embracing her curves with confidence and grace.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

The Presence of a Bare Model

Alejandra’s body is unique. Her curves are full, her waist is slim, and everything about her is natural, exactly as it was intended. From the moment she stepped in front of the lens, she felt like a true Bare Model, the kind of woman whose presence doesn’t need direction or performance. This was an editorial portrait session shaped entirely by her natural beauty and the quiet strength of her silhouette.

We started shooting against a large window and a single blue wall. Most of the images were created right there, manipulating the natural light with different fabrics and angles. The room became a canvas for intimate visual storytelling, and she carried the entire frame with ease.

Black and white photograph of a woman adjusting her underwear, celebrating body confidence and self-love.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Bare Skin, Real Confidence

I remember how excited she was to go bare, no clothes, just her skin. Her confidence was like no other. She fully embraced her body, and it shows in every frame. She is powerful and poised, feminine with undeniable sex appeal. She is a goddess.

Woman standing by a wall wearing white underwear, holding flowers against her chest, embracing natural curves.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

The Shift That Changed Everything

A Turning Point in Her Life

Inside the quiet and deeply personal shift that led Romy Dya toward a new body, a new sound, and a new beginning.

At thirty three, Romy Dya stands in a place where her life feels newly shaped. Her work, her identity, her body, and the direction she has chosen for herself all carry a different clarity than before. A mother of two and an artist from the Netherlands, her evolution began in a moment of complete honesty with herself.

For many years, Romy’s relationship with her body was molded by the comments of others.
“People always told me I was fat, and I grew ashamed of myself,” she explains. Her earliest memories of insecurity were linked to mirrors, music studios, and the constant pressure to present a polished version of herself. Even during a period when she lost weight and received a wave of attention, something inside her remained unsettled.

“I could not look in the mirror. Especially at my stomach,” she says. Stretch marks, cellulite, and the marks left by pregnancy became symbols of a body she believed did not meet the expectations placed on her. Yet the deeper discomfort came from a place within herself.

The Beginning of Her Inner Shift

Everything changed in 2018.

After the end of a twelve year relationship, Romy booked a last minute flight to Los Angeles. It was not a dramatic escape. It was a choice made quietly and firmly, a decision to step into a life she had not allowed herself to imagine.

“Going to Los Angeles was the best choice I ever made,” she says. “It was the first time I truly chose myself.”

The years that followed brought difficult moments and long periods of rebuilding. Romy learned to reflect, to sit with her thoughts, and to listen to her intuition. What began as discomfort eventually softened into self trust. Little by little, she reconnected with the woman she had once pushed away.

“I began standing in front of the mirror and telling myself, you are strong, you are beautiful, you can do this,” she recalls. Over time, the stretch marks and curves she once tried to hide started to feel different. They became a record of where she had been and what she had survived.

“I see them as art now,” she says. “They tell my story.”

A New Sound, A New Foundation

Her music transformed alongside her.

Songs that once came from pressure and expectation began to emerge from honesty and emotion. Romy first shared a song with OBARE, formerly known as SMV, in 2020. She now prepares to release her new single in August of 2025, a reflection of the life she has rebuilt and the voice she has reclaimed.

This is not a story of perfection. It is a story of a woman choosing a direction that felt true to her. Emotionally, creatively, and physically, she created a new foundation and allowed herself to grow from it.

Today, Romy continues to write, produce, and create from a place of clarity. Her work carries the weight of her past, the depth of her experiences, and a vision for the future that feels entirely her own.

Connect with Romy Dya
Instagram: @romydya

Here is another sneak peek of her new song.

Here is a beautiful song Romy wrote for OBARE, formerly known as SMV, back in 2020.

Her Garden Portraits as a Bare Model

Arielle Lopez posing outdoors in black-and-white film photography, wearing delicate white lingerie during her Bare Model garden shoot.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Arielle Lopez standing outdoors in white lingerie, looking over her shoulder with confidence — celebrating natural curves, sunlight, and self-acceptance.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Arielle Lopez lying on a blanket outdoors, soft natural light highlighting her features, representing calm confidence and body positivity.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Arielle Lopez in white lingerie outdoors, embracing natural skin texture and body confidence.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Black and white portrait of a Bare Model posing topless in a garden, photographed by Karlo Gomez, showing natural skin texture, soft light, and an intimate expression framed by leaves.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Black and white photo of a Bare Model standing in a garden, photographed from behind by Karlo Gomez, showing natural curves, long wavy hair, and sunlight softly highlighting her skin.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Black and white photo of Arielle Lopez smiling in white lingerie and holding a robe open outdoors — radiating natural joy, confidence, and self-love.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Continue to the full article →

Apolonia Calleja Through the Lens

Apolonia Calleja standing in a doorway wearing a white crop top and orange bottoms — powerful stance showing strength, curves, and body positivity.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Bare Model photographed by Karlo Gomez in natural light wearing an orange long-sleeve top, standing outdoors with greenery, showing natural curves in an editorial portrait.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Black-and-white portrait of Apolonia Calleja in an open black jacket, embodying bold feminine confidence and unapologetic authenticity.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Apolonia Calleja reaching for lemons in a backyard garden, smiling with natural confidence and embracing her curves under the warm sunlight.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Soft-lit portrait of Apolonia Calleja lying in bed with tousled hair, exuding natural beauty, calm, and quiet self-assurance.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Continue to the full article →

The way she looks when nothing is added

Angelina Love resting peacefully, confident in her body and natural skin
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Natural black-and-white portrait of Angelina Love embracing confidence without makeup
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Angelina Love showing natural curves and self-assured beauty in black and white
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Portrait of Angelina Love with natural curls and soft golden light, photographed by Karlo Gomez for Obare.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Angelina Love in soft natural light, relaxed and confident in her own space
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Angelina Love smiling over her shoulder, radiating body confidence and joy
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Continue to the full article →

A quiet moment with her real self

Woman sitting cross-legged on the floor in natural light, embracing her curves and soft skin with confidence in a calm, minimal home setting.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Black and white close-up of Kendall’s stomach folds and natural curves.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Close-up of woman’s upper body in a relaxed pose, wearing a bra and hoop earrings, showing natural skin texture and body confidence.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Woman with curly hair standing in lingerie, revealing natural body lines and soft curves while embracing her authentic beauty.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
“Close-up of woman’s stomach with hands gently holding her skin, symbolizing self-acceptance and body positivity.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Black and white photo of a woman with natural curves and stretch marks standing in lingerie."
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Continue to the full article →

A Moment with Sharon

Bare Model Feature

Spending the afternoon with Sharon felt like stepping into a quiet pocket of honesty. No trying to be anything. Just her, the warm light, and the way her body naturally moved in front of the camera. What you’re about to see isn’t styled or staged to fit an idea of perfect. It’s simply Sharon as she is in that moment, relaxed and present, fully owning her natural body. These images are a glimpse of that truth.

South Asian woman in a white bikini posing confidently in natural light
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Plus-size Sharon Clawson in white bathing suit, standing with bare face, no makeup, showing tummy, thighs, and stretch marks.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
 Black and white artistic photo of Sharon Clawson’s curves, natural butt with cellulite and stretch marks, embracing body positivity.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Color portrait of Sharon Clawson, plus-size Indian German woman in white bikini, thick thighs, big chest, visible cellulite and stretch marks, no makeup, natural beauty.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Continue to the full article →

A look into natural beauty with Gibson

No fancy hairstyle and no makeup just Gibson in her natural light in Los Angeles
Young White woman standing, curvy body, all natural, no makeup, body confident.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Bare Model Gibson standing in natural light in Los Angeles wearing a vintage oversized shirt and high-waist underwear with her arms raised.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Bare Model Gibson laughing in a candid moment indoors wearing a vintage shirt and high-waist underwear in soft natural light.”
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Curvy young white woman with hips and stretch marks, natural body, no makeup.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Continue to the full article →

A quiet study of form

Color photograph of a white blonde woman in white underwear, no makeup, embracing her curves while holding white flowers in a bright kitchen.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Black and white beauty portrait of a white girl with no makeup, showcasing natural skin and authentic expression.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Color portrait of a white woman with no makeup holding a white flower, showcasing natural beauty and body confidence.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Black and white photo of a natural beauty girl with no makeup gazing at her reflection, highlighting self-love and authenticity.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Color photograph of a white woman standing tall in a black bra top and beige underwear, no makeup, embracing her natural body.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
Color photo of a white woman sitting beside her art painting in underwear and top, no makeup, embracing her body and natural beauty.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez
 Color image of a white girl with no makeup lying on the floor in underwear, posing with her art painting in a candid beauty shot.
Photographed by Karlo Gomez

Continue to the full article →

Your Body’s Sending You Subtle Hints (a.k.a. Please Sit Down for a Minute)

There’s a point in every hustle where your body stops requesting and starts demanding. You know the stage when your eyelids feel heavier than your ambitions, and your brain’s idea of “focus” is re-reading the same text 12 times. The truth is simple: your body whispers before it shouts. And right now, it’s probably hoarse.

The Whispers Before the Breakdown

A film-style photograph of a woman resting on a bed, wearing neutral beige loungewear, her expression calm but weary. The soft natural light, muted tones, and subtle film grain evoke exhaustion and the quiet need for rest, symbolizing burnout and recovery.
Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

It starts small you skip breakfast, sleep feels optional, and you’re proud of surviving on caffeine and chaos. You tell yourself this is “discipline,” but your body calls it what it is: a slow crash in progress. The dark circles aren’t badges of honor; they’re little love notes from your nervous system saying, “Can we rest now?”

But you keep going, because stopping feels like failure. Meanwhile, your body’s over there scheduling a revolt.

The Emotional Overdraft

Burnout doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it sighs loudly every time someone asks, “How are you?” You say, “Good, just tired,” as if tired is your personality now. You scroll, you overthink, you feel disconnected from things that used to make you feel alive.

You’re not broken. You’re just overdue for stillness. Exhaustion is not your natural state you’ve just been taught to confuse burnout with achievement.

The Brain Fog Stage

Then comes the fog. The mental tabs stop loading. You lose track of time, words, and occasionally, your sense of humor. You start living for the weekend, but even rest feels like work. It’s not that you’re unmotivated it’s that your brain is buffering from overload.

Your thoughts move slower. Your patience runs thinner. And suddenly, peace feels like a luxury you can’t afford.

The Soul Wants In

At some point, even your spirit checks out. The music doesn’t hit the same. Creativity feels forced. You crave quiet but don’t know what to do with it when it arrives. The body that’s been carrying you is begging you to be here.

You don’t need another productivity hack. You need to remember that rest is productive. You don’t grow by pushing harder you grow by pausing with purpose.

How to Recalibrate (Without Burning Down Your Life)

So, how do you recover from the edge of exhaustion without quitting your job, moving to Bali, or deleting the internet?

  • Set boundaries that actually mean something. No is a full sentence and you are allowed to use it without explaining or apologizing for protecting your peace.
  • Sleep like it matters, because you cannot heal inside the same exhaustion that broke you. Go to bed earlier even if your mind resists. The world will still be waiting when you wake.
  • Feed your nervous system instead of feeding your stress. Drink water before caffeine sometimes, stretch before you scroll, and add something green to your plate that did not come from a package.
  • Make rest a ritual instead of a reward. Schedule it. Slow mornings and quiet nights count. A walk with no purpose other than breathing counts. You do not need to earn rest. It already belongs to you.
  • Ask for help before you collapse. A therapist, a friend, a mother, anyone who can hold space for you. Rest is not always sleep. Sometimes rest is being seen.
  • Because your body’s not betraying you it’s communicating. It’s the soft voice that says, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” And when you finally listen, you’ll realize rest was never the reward it was always the requirement.

    You Don’t Need a New Body You Need Better Habits

    Black-and-white portrait of an older woman in minimalist fashion, seated in a sculptural pose.
    Photo by RF Studio

    The Modern Woman’s Wellness Rebellion

    Most wellness lists feel like punishment disguised as self care.
    Wake up at five in the morning.
    Meditate until you levitate.
    Eat chia pudding that tastes like regret.

    This is not that.

    These habits are for real women. Women who work. Women who cry. Women who heal and scroll and glow and fall apart and get back up again.
    Think of this as your soft power fitness manual. Stronger legs. A calmer mind. Better boundaries. No burnout.

    MOVE Because Endorphins Are Free

    Walk for ten minutes after each meal even the late night one.
    Get sunlight in your eyes before ten in the morning. It is the simplest mood supplement on earth.
    Strength train three times a week. Lift something heavier than your emotional baggage.
    Take the stairs. Elevators are for existential crises.
    Do twenty squats before your shower. The cheapest pre workout you will ever find.
    Move your lymph with dry brushing or rebounding or honestly just shaking your body like a song is stuck inside you.
    Dance to one song a day. Choose joy not the sad playlist.
    Track progress by how you feel instead of how you look.

    MIND Reprogram Your Inner Dialogue

    Your thoughts shape your posture your tone and your presence.
    Talk to yourself like someone who deserves respect.

    Start your morning with gratitude not your phone.
    Write three things you feel proud of. Surviving the group chat counts.
    Replace the phrase I have to with I get to. It is a small shift with a big impact.
    Take one day each week off social media. Your mind will relax in ways you forgot were possible.
    Practice doing one thing at a time. The world will not collapse if you stop multitasking.
    Read ten pages of something that feeds the soul not the anxiety.
    Keep promises to yourself. That is how self trust becomes real.
    Speak with kindness toward yourself because your cells hear everything.

    SLEEP The Real Flex

    A full nights rest is not laziness. It is a luxury that changes everything.
    Glow requires rest not endless caffeine.

    Go to bed and wake up at consistent times even on weekends.
    Dim the lights for an hour before bed.
    Keep your room cool and dark. A cave for dreams not doom scrolling.
    Avoid caffeine after two in the afternoon unless chaos feels appealing.
    Read or journal before bed instead of investigating your past.
    Place your phone far from the bed. Buy a six dollar alarm clock.
    Skip the late night scrolling. Save your dopamine for the daylight.
    Treat rest as productive because it absolutely is.

    EAT Fuel Do Not Punish

    Your body is not a battle. Food is not the enemy.
    Restriction steals joy and energy. Nourishment builds both.

    Drink water before your morning coffee.
    Eat protein at every meal.
    Do not skip breakfast. Your hormones will thank you.
    Include fermented foods for gut health because a happy gut creates a happier mind.
    Eat until you feel satisfied instead of stuffed.
    Cook with olive oil ghee or butter.
    Choose local and seasonal foods whenever possible.
    Limit alcohol and try bone broth instead.
    Give your digestion a full twelve hours to rest overnight.

    THE TAKEAWAY

    Wellbeing is not built overnight.
    It is built breath by breath and habit by habit.
    Small choices create noticeable change.
    Care always works better than control.

    The moment you stop treating your body as a project and begin treating it like a partner everything shifts.

    You do not need a new body.
    You need better habits.
    And you deserve the kind that make you feel alive.

    The Feel Good Detox

    How to Rebuild Real Joy in a World Addicted to Quick Hits
    Black-and-white portrait of a woman laughing in water with long wet hair and natural sunlight.
    Photo by Murillo Molissani

    There is a kind of joy that cannot be clicked, bought, streamed, or scrolled. It sits deeper than a notification or a like. It lives inside the body, in breath, in movement, in the small electric moments that remind you that you are alive.

    If life has felt flat or heavy, you are not broken. You are overstimulated, under nourished, and disconnected from the real sources of pleasure that your mind and body respond to. This is an invitation back to yourself. A return to real joy, real presence, and real dopamine.

    The Modern Dopamine Problem

    We live in a world overflowing with instant rewards. Every swipe, every refresh, every click offers a tiny spark of artificial pleasure that fades almost as quickly as it arrives.

    The real thing is different. Real dopamine comes from sunlight, laughter, novelty, nature, movement, connection, and meaning. It comes from the moments that breathe life into your nervous system instead of draining it.

    Real dopamine is not extracted. It is experienced.

    Chase Curiosity Like It Matters

    Curiosity wakes up the mind. It lights the body from the inside. Try the thing that makes no sense on paper. Explore the hobby you secretly think about. Begin the creative idea you keep postponing. Curiosity is nourishment.

    Love With Your Full Attention

    Half present love leaves the heart hungry.
    Put the phone down.
    Meet someone’s eyes.
    Listen with your whole presence.
    Connection is one of the most powerful dopamine sources you have access to.

    Eat for Energy and Not Escape

    Your brain is alive and physical.
    It needs minerals, nutrients, hydration, and whole foods.
    Feed your body with respect and it will begin to return that respect back to you through mood, clarity, and joy.

    Be Where Your Feet Are

    Presence is a form of power.
    Every moment you return to your breath, you return to your life.
    Joy grows in awareness, not distraction.

    Follow the Spark That Keeps Calling You

    There is something you love that you keep saving for later.
    Start now.
    Your nervous system lights up when you move toward something meaningful.

    Give Without Needing Anything Back

    Generosity softens your entire system.
    A compliment.
    A smile.
    A small act of care.
    Giving creates connection, and connection creates calm.

    Let Music Move You

    Play a song you love. Let it shift your mood. Let your body move. Let yourself be carried for a moment. Movement changes emotion almost instantly.

    Step Outside

    Woman with closed eyes in sunlight, photographed outdoors in soft natural light.
    Photo by Anna Shvets

    Nature is medicine.
    Sunlight. Air. Space.
    Your entire body responds to the natural world.
    The glow you chase in products often begins with time outdoors.

    Grow Every Day

    Growth does not need to be dramatic.
    A small shift. A small act. A small decision.
    Become a little more yourself every day.

    Leave Spaces Better Than You Found Them

    Your presence creates impact.
    Bring gentleness. Bring clarity. Bring care.
    These small acts build self worth in real time.

    Rest Deeply

    Rest is not an indulgence.
    Rest is repair.
    Rest is clarity.
    Rest is the medicine your mind has been craving.

    Move Because It Feels Good

    Movement is not punishment.
    Movement is celebration.
    Move to feel alive, not to shrink or control your body.

    Sit With Silence

    Silence is not emptiness.
    Silence is a beginning.
    Your next chapter often starts when the world becomes quiet enough for you to finally hear yourself.

    Real dopamine is not a high.
    It is a return
    to your body
    to your clarity
    to your joy
    to your life.

    Choose presence instead of distraction.
    Choose movement instead of numbness.
    Choose joy instead of judgment.

    This is the feel good detox your mind has been waiting for.

    THE REAL REASON YOU WAKE UP EXHAUSTED

    Woman sitting upright in bed in soft morning light, eyes closed, silhouette profile against bright window, peaceful and introspective moment.
    Photo by Ron Lach

    A Mineral Most Women Overlook

    You know the feeling: the alarm goes off, your eyes open, and there’s a heaviness that sleep didn’t touch.
    It’s not laziness. It’s not a lack of discipline.
    And it’s not always about getting “more hours.”

    There’s a quieter reason many women wake up depleted: low potassium.

    The Mineral Behind Your Energy

    Potassium is one of the body’s most essential electrical minerals.
    Your cells rely on it to move fluid, fire nerves, contract muscles, and maintain steady energy.

    When levels are low, your body has to work harder to perform basic functions which is why even eight hours of sleep can’t “fix” the fatigue.

    The symptoms are subtle but recognizable: a kind of morning heaviness, a low-grade exhaustion, faint muscle weakness, a touch of irritability, and that fog you just can’t shake.

    Most adults don’t reach the recommended 2,600–3,400 mg per day.
    Not because they’re doing anything wrong but because modern diets are naturally depleted.

    Where the Fatigue Comes From

    Woman lying in bed in the morning, showing fatigue and low energy.
    Photo by Mikhail Nilov

    Potassium acts like your body’s internal current.
    Without enough of it, your cells can’t:

    It helps your body move nutrients efficiently, regulate hydration, support muscle contractions, and maintain stable energy.

    The result: your body wakes up already behind.

    Coffee can mask it, but it can’t correct it.
    Stimulants spark the mind minerals support the system.

    The Foods That Restore You

    Potassium-rich foods including spinach, broccoli, sweet potatoes, bananas, oranges, and kiwi.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    The simplest fix isn’t a supplement. It’s food.

    These potassium-rich options support morning energy naturally:

    Spinach is high in potassium and iron to help oxygenate your cells, broccoli delivers potassium and vitamin C for balanced energy, sweet potatoes offer slow-burning carbs with steady mineral support, bananas give quick and reliable electrolyte replenishment, oranges keep you hydrated with mineral-rich juice, and kiwi adds a small but powerful dose of potassium and antioxidants.

    Pairing these with mineral water or coconut water creates a noticeable shift: steadier energy, clearer focus, fewer dips.

    The OBARE Perspective

    Your body doesn’t need more stimulation it needs support.
    When minerals are restored, the morning changes.
    Energy stops being something you chase and becomes something you naturally create.

    Give your body what it’s been missing, and it will meet you with clarity, strength, and presence.

    Seven Psychology Shifts for a Softer Happier Life

    Happiness is not built from highlight reels, achievements, or constant motion. It grows in quieter places. In how we return to ourselves after long days, in how we connect with others, and in how we choose softness over pressure.

    At Obare we celebrate women in their full, unfiltered form. That includes the mind. The more we studied the psychology of happiness the clearer it became that joy is not an accident. It is a practice. One women can shape on their own terms.

    Below are seven evidence based shifts that can help you reconnect with a life that feels lighter, calmer, and more alive.

    1. Choose Real Connection Over NutraSweet Connection

    Minimalist illustration of a woman choosing real connection over social media, symbolizing genuine human interaction and emotional nourishment.”
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Social media gives the illusion of closeness. Notifications, likes, quick messages. They feel sweet for a moment but do not truly feed us. Studies from long term research at Harvard show that the strongest predictor of lifelong well being is meaningful human connection.

    Try this: replace one scrolling session today with a real human moment. A call. A walk. A conversation that breathes.

    2. The Social Prediction Error

    Minimalist illustration showing a woman debating whether to go out, then smiling as she joins friends — representing the social prediction error concept.”
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    We often misjudge how good social interaction will make us feel. Psychologists call this the social prediction error. We expect exhaustion. We often get relief.

    Try this: if you are tempted to cancel plans give yourself thirty minutes. Show up and see how your energy responds. Joy hides in the things we resist.

    3. The Peak-End Rule

    Minimalist illustration of a woman laughing during dinner and later reading in bed, symbolizing the Peak-End Rule and ending the day intentionally.”
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    We do not remember experiences evenly. We remember the peak moment and the ending. One laugh at dinner or one quiet moment before bed can shift how the entire day lives in your memory.

    Try this: end your day with intention. A song. A short reflection. A breath of fresh air.

    4. The Dopamine Rule

    Minimalist illustration of a woman choosing between instant gratification and effort-based rewards, symbolizing the Dopamine Rule and mindful fulfillment.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Instant gratification chases quick stimulation. Lasting fulfillment comes from effort followed by reward. Neuroscience shows that dopamine feels richer when it is earned.

    Try this: pause before the quick hit. Ask yourself what kind of reward would feel meaningful after effort.

    5. The Gift and Curse of Adaptation

    “Minimalist illustration of a woman savoring coffee in sunlight, symbolizing gratitude and mindfulness in the concept of hedonic adaptation.”
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    We adapt to everything. Highs settle. Lows rise. This is part of being human. Awareness interrupts the cycle. When you savor simple moments you stretch happiness over a longer period.

    Try this: hold on to the warm parts of the day. Coffee in your hands. Sunlight on your skin. The sound of a friend laughing.

    6. Redefine Success Through Ease

    Minimalist illustration of a woman calmly reflecting with the quote ‘What can I release?’ symbolizing rest, alignment, and redefining success through ease.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Success has been tied to pressure for too long. Hustle culture teaches us to grind until we collapse. Ease teaches us to align. The most fulfilled women we meet are not pushing harder. They are living with intention.

    Try this: replace the question what more can I do with what can I release.

    7. The Mirror Rule

    Minimalist illustration of a woman smiling at her reflection with affirmations ‘I’m resilient, I’m kind, I’m growing,’ symbolizing self-compassion and the Mirror Rule.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    How you speak to yourself shapes how you move through your day. Neuroscience shows that self directed compassion activates regions linked to trust and safety.

    Try this: each morning say one kind thing about yourself that is not about appearance. I am resilient. I am growing. I am patient.

    Happiness is not a destination. It is a rhythm. Some days it rises easily. Other days it hums quietly under the surface. What matters is returning to it with gentleness.

    Women deserve lives that feel real and unbeautified. These shifts will not fix everything but they can guide you back to the parts of life that feel nourishing and true.

    How to Love Deeply Without Losing Yourself

    When Empathy Turns Into Overwhelm

    It starts innocently enough caring too much, feeling too deeply.
    One minute you’re holding space for someone’s story, and the next, you’re carrying the weight of their heartbreak in your own body.

    When Lily first began teaching, she thought it was compassion the way she could feel everything. A student’s grief, another’s frustration, someone else’s loneliness. By the end of the day, her body felt like a sponge, heavy and tired without understanding why.

    It took years to realize that empathy without grounding isn’t compassion it’s self-abandonment.

    What Psychology and Spirituality Both Know

    Illustration of a serene woman symbolizing balance between psychology and spirituality, showing heart, brain, and glowing energy in warm earthy tones.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Psychology calls it emotional enmeshment.
    Spirituality calls it leaking energy.

    Either way, it’s a sign your boundaries are made of love, but not yet of strength.

    To truly hold space for others, you must first root yourself in your own energy. Otherwise, compassion becomes confusion love becomes depletion.

    Sensitivity Is Not a Flaw It’s Sacred Awareness

    The world often tells sensitive people to toughen up, but the truth is: you don’t need to harden to protect yourself.
    True protection is softness anchored in awareness.

    When your heart is rooted in your own energy, compassion doesn’t drain you it nourishes you.
    That’s the quiet strength of an open-hearted person who has learned to stay grounded.

    3 Practices to Stay Open and Protected

    Illustration of a serene woman with glowing heart energy, symbolizing sacred awareness, compassion, and inner strength in warm earthy tones.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    1. Anchor Your Energy

    Before stepping into a conversation or crowded room, place a hand on your heart and breathe deeply.
    Say silently: “My energy stays with me.”
    That simple intention reminds your body where home is.

    2. Sense Your Body

    When listening to someone, notice your breath or your feet on the ground.
    This subtle act keeps you present in your own field — not drifting into theirs.

    3. Release What’s Not Yours

    After an emotional interaction, stretch, shake your hands, or visualize rinsing invisible dust from your body.
    Say gently: “I return what’s not mine, with love.”
    Release without resentment. That’s how softness becomes strength.

    You’re Not Broken for Feeling Deeply

    Feeling everything doesn’t make you weak — it makes you awake.
    But awareness without boundaries is like light without a lamp: beautiful, but uncontained.

    Learning to stay open yet rooted is a lifelong practice. It’s how empathy turns from exhaustion into empowerment.

    Because when your heart is anchored in your own energy, you don’t just protect yourself —
    you amplify your presence.

    The Lesson Beneath It All

    Love that depletes isn’t love it’s a call to return to yourself.
    Sensitivity isn’t something to fix. It’s something to refine.

    When you stop carrying what isn’t yours, you don’t close your heart.
    You finally make space for your own light to shine through.

    The Bare Model Approach to Aging Well

    Skincare begins long before anything touches the surface. The women who work with us know that the most powerful beauty routine starts in the kitchen. Their secret is simple. They choose foods that keep inflammation down, collagen strong, and skin bright from within. These are the quiet staples that support a face and body the camera never misses.

    Below is the core list Bare Models return to every day. Each one plays its part in supporting youthful skin and slowing the signs of visible aging in a real and lasting way.

    Extra Virgin Olive Oil

    Fresh green olives and olive leaves immersed in golden extra virgin olive oil.
    Photo by Engina Kyurt

    Olive oil is the anchor. It keeps the skin plump, nourished, and supported. The healthy fats help maintain elasticity, while the antioxidants defend the skin from environmental stress. A spoon a day, a drizzle on everything, or mixed into warm dishes is enough to make a visible difference.

    Tomatoes

    Close-up of a ripe red tomato with water droplets on a dark background.
    Photo by Gundula Vogel

    Tomatoes are quiet protection. They are rich in lycopene which helps defend the skin from sun damage and supports a smoother, more even look. Raw or cooked, they build long term strength in the skin barrier.

    Papaya

    Fresh ripe papaya with seeds on a white plate in bright natural sunlight.
    Photo by Studio Naae:

    Papaya brings a natural brightening effect. It contains vitamin C and natural enzymes that support collagen production. This is the fruit Bare Models lean on for a softer glow and a smoother texture, especially in the morning.

    Blueberries

    Close-up of fresh blueberries rich in antioxidants.
    Photo by Lisa

    Blueberries work behind the scenes. They are loaded with antioxidants that fight the oxidative stress responsible for early aging. A handful added to breakfast can help the skin stay firm and clear over time.

    The Pattern That Matters

    The secret is not perfection. It is consistency. These foods work because they support the body every day. They encourage clear skin, even tone, and long lasting radiance.

    Bare Models do not chase miracle routines. They build quiet habits that show up in every photo.

    If you want youthful skin that feels strong and alive, start with what you eat. These foods are simple, timeless, and proven. Beauty grows from the inside long before anyone sees it from the outside.

    Radiance Rituals: Small Habits That Help You Glow Naturally

    Radiance is not a product. It is a rhythm.
    A way of living that honors your body, your mind, and the small choices that shape your presence.
    These are the quiet rituals that keep the glow alive, long before any serum touches your skin.

    The Subtle Art of Slowing Down

    Minimalist black-and-white line illustration of a young woman sitting cross-legged in a park surrounded by tall trees and city buildings in the background, symbolizing relaxation, mindfulness, and reconnecting with nature in an urban setting.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    In a culture that glorifies speed, stillness becomes a luxury.
    Yet the truth is simple: your skin reads your life. Stress shows up as dullness, tension, breakouts, and the kind of tiredness even makeup cannot disguise.

    Slowing down is not a retreat. It is a return.

    Deep breaths, intentional rest, long pauses between obligations.
    They soften the edges of your nervous system and restore the clarity your skin needs.

    Even the way you shower matters. Very hot water strips the skin of natural oils that protect its texture and tone. Keep it warm, let your skin breathe, and watch your natural radiance return.

    And smoking… it steals more than your glow. It restricts oxygen, tightens the complexion, and dimishes luminosity. Letting it go is not just a health decision. It is a commitment to your future face.

    The Beauty of Routine

    Minimalist black-and-white line illustration showing a young woman practicing healthy daily habits — washing her face in the bathroom, resting peacefully in bed, and eating a plate of colorful vegetables — symbolizing self-care, balance, and natural beauty.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Consistency creates beauty, not complicated rituals.

    A gentle cleanse once to twice daily removes the day without disturbing the skin’s balance. It becomes a moment to reconnect with yourself, to wash off the noise you carried.

    Screen-free nights matter more than most people realize.
    Blue light disrupts the hormones responsible for repair, leaving the skin fatigued and uneven by morning.

    And the foods you eat speak louder than any product.
    Choose colors. Choose whole foods grown from the earth.
    Every vibrant bite supports cellular repair and long-term brightness.

    Repeat this to yourself:
    Count chemicals, not calories.

    Hydration and Sleep Bring the Glow You’ve Been Looking For

    Minimalist black-and-white line illustration of a young woman practicing sun care and hydration — wearing a wide-brimmed hat under the sun in one scene and drinking a glass of water in the other — representing healthy lifestyle habits for glowing, youthful skin.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Water is beauty’s quiet architect.
    Mineralized water hydrates the skin at a deeper level, helping it stay supple and reflective.

    Pair it with two essentials:

    Nightly cleansing
    Daily sun protection

    But protection does not always mean sunscreen.
    If you are outside for brief moments, wear a hat and greet the sun. Vitamin D is a healing force. If you plan hours under direct light, choose a clean mineral sunscreen that honors your skin’s barrier.

    Build these habits and you create the foundation for ageless skin.

    Move, Rest, Repeat

    Minimalist black-and-white line illustration of a young woman walking through a forest with a backpack, surrounded by trees and greenery, symbolizing mindfulness, nature connection, and peaceful outdoor living.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Movement is celebration, not punishment.

    A simple thirty-minute walk increases circulation, brightens the complexion, and delivers the kind of glow no bottle can mimic.

    Rest completes the cycle.
    Aim to sleep before ten at night when the body enters its most restorative phase. This is when the skin repairs, collagen renews, and the glow is woven back into your features.

    And let your meals be clean, simple, and alive.
    Skip processed options when you can.
    Your skin will always reflect the care you give your body.

    The OBARE Beauty Philosophy

    At OBARE, we believe radiance is lived, not layered.
    It rises from intention, nourishment, movement, stillness, and the grace of showing up for yourself every day.

    Aging gracefully is not about resisting time.
    It is about meeting it with softness, with awareness, and with the quiet confidence that comes from living in alignment with who you are becoming.

    Your glow is not created.
    It is revealed.

    Your Skin, Decoded

    At Obare, we see skin as more than surface. It’s a living system that reflects your habits, your environment, and the way you take care of yourself. True radiance doesn’t begin with foundation or filters. It begins with understanding what your body is asking for.

    What Is the Acne Face Map?

    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Every breakout has a cause. The acne face map links different areas of the face to internal or external triggers, helping you understand what might be going on beneath the surface.

    Forehead and Nose: stress, haircare residue, or touching your face throughout the day.
    Cheeks: dirty pillowcases, makeup brushes, or frequent phone contact.
    Hairline: buildup from gels, waxes, and pomades.
    Eyebrow Area: excess makeup, low water intake, or skincare residue trapped in brows.
    Jawline and Chin: hormonal changes or shifts in your diet.

    Learning the “map” helps you treat the root cause instead of the symptom.

    1. Simplify Your Skincare

    Wash with raw honey or aloe vera for a natural, gentle cleanse.

    Pencil-drawn illustration of a glass honey jar with visible honeycomb and a wooden dipper lifting golden honey, capturing natural glow and warmth.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Use rosehip oil to restore glow and softness.

    Artistic pencil drawing of a rosehip oil bottle with rosehips and leaves, showing warm golden tones that reflect natural skincare and beauty.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Add a clay or sea moss mask twice a week to detox.

    Pencil-drawn portrait of a young woman with freckles applying a clay or sea moss mask to her bare face on cool blue-gray paper, symbolizing self-care and natural beauty.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Always finish with a mineral sunscreen, even indoors.

    Pencil-drawn illustration of a young woman with freckles applying mineral sunscreen outdoors under sunlight, capturing natural glow, skincare protection, and radiant summer warmth.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    2. Nourish from Within

    Illustration of a woman with glowing skin enjoying tart cherry juice and mineral water, surrounded by oranges, broccoli, moringa powder, and cherries — promoting natural beauty and skin nourishment from within by Obare.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Your glow starts inside. Eat foods rich in vitamin C, zinc, and antioxidants. Add moringa leaf powder or collagen peptides to your morning routine. Drink two ounces of tart cherry juice at night to support overnight repair. Stay hydrated with eight to ten glasses of mineral water daily.

    3. Prioritize Rest and Mindfulness

    Illustration of a woman meditating in a calm pose with closed eyes and glowing skin, surrounded by green leaves — representing mindfulness, stress relief, and natural skin health by Obare.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Stress often shows on your skin before you feel it. Meditation, deep breathing, and slowing down reduce cortisol, one of the main hormones behind inflammation and breakouts.

    "When you calm your mind, your skin follows."

    The Obare Way: Confidence Without Concealment

    Obare celebrates women who show up as they are. Natural skin, freckles, and texture aren’t flaws. They’re the details that make you human. Healthy skin isn’t about hiding. It’s about paying attention — to your habits, your hydration, your rest, and your relationship with yourself.

    Glow naturally. Listen closely. Your skin has been speaking to you all along.

    A Closer Look at the Daily Date Ritual

    A quiet daily ritual shaped by nature, supported by science, and rooted in the way real women nourish their strength from the inside out.
    Woman’s hands holding dates and nuts on a wooden board with a glass of milk on a sunlit metal tray as part of a natural nourishment ritual.
    Photo by Ann Tarazevich

    There is a reason the date has lasted across centuries while modern superfoods rise and fade. It was never a trend. It was nourishment woven into the rhythm of women’s lives long before wellness had a name.

    Grown under desert heat and rich in natural fiber minerals and polyphenols the date carries a simplicity we rarely see today. No performance. No filters. No rush to perfect anything. Just quiet reliable strength.

    At Obare nourishment is part of a woman’s lived reality. It is how she supports her digestion her energy her skin her hormones and the body she moves through the world in. A small ritual like eating two dates a day may seem simple but inside the body it creates a real shift. It changes how the body functions responds and restores.

    This is what truly happens when you make this ancient fruit part of your everyday rhythm.

    Day One to Three A Gentle Shift in Digestion

    Your body responds almost immediately. Dates deliver natural fiber and polyphenols that support gut motility. This is the quiet system that keeps everything moving with ease.

    A clinical trial published in the British Journal of Nutrition showed that people who ate dates daily for three weeks experienced better bowel regularity and reduced gut toxicity. A simple fruit creating a grounded internal reset.

    Study Eid N and colleagues Cambridge University Press 2015.

    Day Four to Seven Lower Stress Inside the Gut

    As your system adjusts internal stress markers begin to change. The same research recorded reduced stool ammonia and lower genotoxicity which signals less strain on the colon.

    This is not a harsh detox. It is a natural realignment of the body’s own rhythm.

    Study Eid N and colleagues 2015.

    One Week In Balanced Blood Sugar

    Dates are sweet but their sweetness behaves differently.

    Because dates contain fiber the sugar releases slowly. A 2020 clinical study found that moderate date intake did not spike blood glucose levels. The body knows how to work with sweetness when it comes from something real.

    Study Alalwan and colleagues Nutrients 2020.

    Two Weeks In Lipid and Heart Markers Improve

    Over time dates influence metabolic markers in measurable ways. Researchers noted lower total cholesterol and LDL without negative shifts in blood sugar. A rare combination in nutritional research.

    Your body recognizes whole foods. And responds to them.

    Study Alalwan and colleagues Nutrients 2020.

    Long Term Ritual Strengthening the Gut Microbiome

    A silver bowl filled with sunlit dates on a patterned turquoise cloth creating a warm still life scene rooted in natural nourishment.
    Photo by Mohammad Asbad

    Reviews from 2015 and 2024 show that dates act as natural prebiotics. They feed beneficial gut bacteria and support colon cell integrity.

    This is where nourishment becomes identity. A supported gut affects energy skin clarity emotional steadiness and the way a woman inhabits her body.

    Studies ResearchGate Review 2024 and Cambridge University Press 2015.

    Wellness does not have to be loud. Some of the most powerful habits are the small ones. The steady choices that support the body that carries you.

    Two dates a day is one of those choices. Simple. Natural. Steady.
    A ritual that honors the body without making it perform.

    Where Belonging Actually Begins

    A woman sitting in soft window light with her eyes closed, half in shadow and half in sunlight, reflecting quietly in a minimal room.
    Photo by Gisele Seidel

    There is a quiet moment in every woman’s life when she realizes this truth:

    not every room is meant for her. Some spaces expand you. Others narrow you. And the difference between the two is often felt long before it is understood.

    We spend years trying to belong, adjusting our voice, trimming our edges, softening our presence. It feels easier to fit in than to ask whether a space actually supports the woman we are becoming. But belonging without alignment comes at a cost. You start shrinking in ways you barely notice.

    Real belonging is rarely loud. It is the way your ideas land without being filtered. It is the conversations that make you feel awake. It is the lightness you feel when you do not have to translate yourself. These are the moments where genuine personal growth begins because the space invites you to expand rather than compress.

    How to Recognize the Spaces That Support Your Growth

    The rooms that grow you feel different. They do not require inauthencity. They do not reward your smallest version. They meet your ambition, your questions, and the edges of your identity without resistance.

    You feel more awake in these environments. You think more clearly. You speak differently. You breathe differently. Expansion is quiet, but you notice it.

    Why Some Environments Make You Feel Small

    We have all stayed too long in places that preferred the quieter version of us. A job that valued predictability more than potential. A friend group where ambition felt like a threat. A relationship where your evolution was mistaken for distance.

    These are the spaces where you feel yourself shrinking even when no one says a word. Your ideas feel heavier. Your energy feels muted. The room asks for less of you than you naturally are.

    Feeling small is not a misunderstanding. It is information.

    The Difference Between Belonging and Performing

    Fitting in is easy. It only requires you to hide the parts of yourself that make other people uncomfortable. Belonging is different. Belonging allows your full identity to exist without negotiation.

    You do not have to monitor your tone. You do not have to explain the way you think. You do not have to collapse your depth to stay close to someone else’s comfort.

    Belonging is spacious. Performing is exhausting.

    How to Choose the Rooms That Match Your Becoming

    Growth happens in environments that challenge your patterns and nourish your identity. These are the rooms that encourage you to explore who you are becoming, not who you used to be.

    The right spaces feel like possibility. They sharpen you. They reflect you. They allow you to evolve without asking you to shrink.

    You do not outgrow people or places because you are changing too much. You outgrow them because they are staying exactly the same.

    Why Personal Evolution Depends on the Spaces You Enter

    Choosing yourself is an act of clarity, not rebellion. When you protect your attention, your ambition, and the quieter parts of your inner growth, you return to the woman who never needed permission.

    Your personal evolution depends on the environments you move through. Every room either mirrors your expansion or restricts it. Once you feel the difference, you cannot ignore it.

    How to Know When a Space No Longer Fits You

    You know a space is no longer aligned when you leave feeling smaller than when you walked in. Your curiosity feels unwelcome. Your ideas feel too big. Your presence feels misplaced. Your inner rhythm starts dimming to match the room.

    Nothing dramatic needs to happen. The mismatch speaks for itself.

    Outgrowing something is not loss. It is direction.

    Creating an Environment That Honors Your Identity

    You do not have to stay in places that require you to disappear. You do not have to prove your worth in rooms that never saw you clearly. You do not have to negotiate your identity to remain close to people who only understand past versions of you.

    Go where you feel expansive. Go where the conversation moves you forward. Go where your presence feels like a match, not a compromise.

    Where you are seen, you grow. Where you are small, you leave.

    A Simple Way to Get Your Mind Back in a Noisy World

    Woman lit by blue phone light at night, staring into the screen with one eye in shadow.
    Photo by Darya Grey Owl

    Let’s be real for a second. Everyone feels scattered right now. Our attention spans are cooked, and it's not because you're lazy or undisciplined. The world is just loud in a way our brains weren’t designed for.

    (Video by Joshua Malic)

    Think about what a single morning looks like now. You wake up to eight-second reels, twelve notifications before breakfast, and five tabs open while you try to reply to one email. Your brain is just trying to survive the chaos.

    Here’s the truth: you can’t completely unplug from the internet. You can’t ditch your phone or pretend the digital world doesn’t exist. But you can absolutely get your focus back. Your mind is still in there. You just need a few simple habits that make space for it again.

    1. Build focus like a muscle


    Start small. Really small. Set a five minute or ten minute timer and work on just one thing. When your mind drifts, gently bring it back. If you lose the thread, restart the timer and try again. After every solid session, add a little more time. This slow build is exactly how focus grows. Your brain responds to repetition and consistency.

    2. Redefine your relationship with your phone


    Your phone is not your enemy, but it has too much access to you. You do not need to go back to an old flip phone, but you do need a little distance. Try limiting time on distracting apps. Charge your phone in another room. Switch it to grayscale. Keep it out of reach while you work. You are not cutting it out of your life. You are just giving yourself room to think again.

    3. Periodically fast from stimulation


    Your brain needs real silence sometimes. Actual boredom. It sounds strange, but boredom resets your mind. Try taking a walk without headphones. Eat a meal without looking at a screen. Wait in line without picking up your phone. Every time you resist the urge to fill the moment with noise, you rebuild your natural attention span.

    4. Close your mental tabs


    Once a week, write everything down. All the unfinished tasks, unread messages, small errands, and random thoughts you keep storing in your head. For each one, decide whether to take action, schedule it, or let it go. It feels exactly like closing a bunch of open tabs on your computer. Suddenly your mind feels lighter and clearer.

    5. Begin a reading challenge


    This one is simple but powerful. For the next one hundred days, read something small every day. A poem, a short story, or a short essay. Just five or ten minutes of concentrated reading. This slows your brain down, stretches your attention, and helps rebuild the focus that constant scrolling wears down.

    6. Protect your focus


    This might be the most important part. Protect your peace. Unfollow accounts that drain your energy. Step away from projects that no longer matter to you. Stop trying to stay updated on everything happening everywhere. The pressure to keep up with everything does nothing but scatter your mind.


    Here is the final thing to remember. Focus can be trained. Your mind can become steady again. And the small choices you make each day really do add up. Tiny habits like walking without headphones or closing your mental tabs once a week can completely change how clear and grounded you feel. Small steps can create big results.

    Josefine’s Signature Glute Workout

    A woman standing on a balcony, shown from behind with strong glutes and defined legs.
    Photo courtesy of Josefine Holmberg

    Strength for Josefine has never been loud. It’s quiet and steady, something she has built one controlled movement at a time. Her glutes define her silhouette, not from trends or quick programs, but from years of paying attention to form and how her body naturally moves. “I have always been drawn to the glutes,” she says.


    “They create shape but they also anchor how a woman moves.”
    Focused woman with long ponytail lifting a dumbbell, showing sculpted arms, glutes, and legs under warm gym lighting.
    Photo courtesy of Josefine Holmberg

    When you talk to her, you feel how deeply she respects this part of the body. It is not only about appearance. Strong glutes change everything. They shape how you move, how you hold yourself, how grounded you feel, and even the kind of presence you carry when you enter a room. Josefine keeps her training simple, and that is exactly why it works. She cuts out the noise and replaces it with focus. Her strength comes from intention, from control, from knowing her body well enough to let the work speak quietly for itself.

    Fit woman in black sports bra and camo shorts posing confidently in the gym, highlighting toned glutes and strong quads.
    Photo courtesy of Josefine Holmberg

    Less Is More, Better Is Better

    You only need to spend three days per week in the gym or with weights at home, plus two short optional band-only days, which are enough to transform your glutes if done with intention and focus.

    Fun fact: research shows strong, well-shaped glutes aren’t just eye-catching—they help you walk taller, lift heavier, and prevent injuries.

    Her Glute Routine


    Frequency for lifting: 3–5 days a week - 2-3 for Glutes/Legs
    Duration: 45–60 minutes for full workouts, 15–20 minutes for optional home sessions

    Sample Day 1 – Full Legs & Booty:
        1. Machine Hip Thrusts – 4x10
    (Alt, barbell, dumbbell, band)

    (Tip: Tuck your chin slightly and keep your ribs down to maintain a neutral arch in your lower back. Drive through your heels and squeeze your glutes at the top.)

    2. Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift – 4x12
    (Alt, barbell, band, bodyweight)

    (Tip: Keep a soft bend in your knees and push your hips back until you feel a stretch in your hamstrings. Maintain a straight spine and keep the bar close to your legs.)

       3. Lying hamstring curl – 4x15
    (Alt, banded or bodyweight)
    (Tip: Control the movement and keep your body pressed firmly against the pad. Maintain constant tension, moving slowly and deliberately so you feel your hamstrings working.)


        4: Seated Hip Abductions – 4x20
    (Alt, mini band)

    (Tip: Lean slightly forward to enhance glute activation. Focus on squeezing your glutes at the end position instead of pushing too fast or too far.)
    "Form over everything. Your mind-muscle connection is the secret to seeing results."

    The Science Behind Glute Training

    Training your glutes is about more than curves it’s about body composition, metabolism, and performance. Strong glutes activate your hamstrings, quads, and core, creating a high metabolic burn that extends long after your workout.

    "Genetics play a role, but they don’t dictate your potential."

    With consistent, mindful training, you can sculpt glutes that look rounder, stronger, and more athletic regardless of your starting point.

    Athletic woman standing by dumbbells in a gym, showing defined glutes and hamstrings, wearing camo shorts and sports bra.
    Photo courtesy of Josefine Holmberg

    Mindful Muscle Work and Focus

    Your glutes grow when you actually feel them working, not when you rush through your sets or chase heavier weight. Real shape comes from control and presence. Josefine always says, “Obsessing over perfection won’t get results. Focusing on what you can control will.” She trains slowly and intentionally, paying attention to every part of the movement. When you watch her lift, you can see that she is fully present, mind on the muscle, no distractions, just clean work.

    The Habits That Shape You

    Josefine’s strength did not come from secrets. It came from simple habits done consistently. Real effort, steady practice, and patience are the things that change your body over time. They also change the way you carry yourself. Her approach is proof that discipline does not need to be loud to be powerful.

    Nutrition and Recovery

    Your body responds to more than the work you do in the gym. It reacts to how you eat, how you sleep, and how you let yourself recover. Josefine keeps her routine simple. She eats enough protein, chooses whole foods most of the time, and maintains a balance that feels steady instead of extreme. Rest is part of her process because she knows her body grows when she gives it space to recover.

    The Bigger Picture

    Your glutes are the largest muscles in your body, and they support almost everything you do. They help your posture, protect your knees and lower back, and give your movement more stability and power. And yes, they shape your silhouette in a way that feels strong and feminine. Josefine is not teaching you how to chase a look. She is showing you how to build something that works for your body and stays with you long-term. Every session counts. Every moment of intention adds to the shape you are creating. It is not fast and it is not forced. It is something you build with awareness and consistency.

    Smiling fit woman flexing her bicep in a gym, showing toned abs and upper body strength.
    Photo courtesy of Josefine Holmberg

    This workout was created in collaboration with strength coach Josefine Holmberg. You can follow her training and her journey at @iamjosefineholmberg.

    Share this with someone who would appreciate learning how she builds real strength and shape.

    Five Movements That Build the Modern Woman

    We know that confidence isn’t about the number on a scale

    it comes from strength, poise, and the joy of what your body can do. This full lower-body kettlebell workout is designed to tone your legs, lift your glutes, and define your waist all while enhancing your natural curves. Each move is crafted to strengthen, stabilize, and sculpt, helping you fall in love with your body from the inside out.

    Below are five powerhouse exercises to help you build, sculpt, and celebrate your curves plus, they come with videos so you can follow along with perfect form.

    1. Kettlebell Swings

    (strength coach Josefine Holmberg)

    Primary Muscles: Glutes (gluteus maximus), Hamstrings
    Main Focus: Posterior chain, explosive hip power

    Kettlebell swings are all about power and posterior strength. They fire up your glutes and hamstrings while teaching explosive hip drive and improving posture. Bonus: your core gets a serious workout too, and your heart rate gets a boost, giving you a full-body glow. Think of it as sculpting your backside while feeling unstoppable.

    2. Goblet Squats

    (strength coach Josefine Holmberg)

    Primary Muscles: Quadriceps
    Secondary Muscles: Glutes, Hamstrings
    Main Focus: Lower body strength, posture, core engagement

    Goblet squats are a classic for a reason. They strengthen your quads and glutes while keeping your core tight, all in one sleek move. The deep squat enhances hip mobility and posture, sculpting legs and defining your waist. And let’s be real — if you’ve ever dreamed of a lifted, round, head-turning booty, goblet squats are your best friend. This is strength that celebrates your curves, not hides them.

    3. Static Curtsy Lunge

    (strength coach Josefine Holmberg)

    Primary Muscles: Gluteus medius & minimus (side glutes), Gluteus maximus, Quadriceps
    Main Focus: Glute isolation, balance, stability

    The static curtsy lunge is your secret weapon for toning the outer glutes and improving balance. By isolating the side glutes, this move lifts, sculpts, and shapes your hips, giving you a curvier, more defined silhouette. Bonus: it also challenges your stability, making everyday movements feel easier and more graceful.

    4. Romanian Deadlifts (RDLs)

    (strength coach Josefine Holmberg)

    Primary Muscles: Hamstrings, Glutes
    Main Focus: Posterior chain, hip hinge control

    Romanian deadlifts are posterior-chain perfection. They strengthen hamstrings and glutes while teaching proper hip hinge mechanics, improving posture and giving you a taller, more confident stance. Strong hamstrings and glutes don’t just look amazing they carry you through your day with power and ease.

    5. Reverse Lunges

    (strength coach Josefine Holmberg)

    Primary Muscles: Glutes, Quadriceps
    Main Focus: Unilateral leg strength, stability, glute activation

    Reverse lunges focus on each leg individually, improving balance, stability, and glute engagement. They sculpt your glutes, tone your legs, and enhance your natural curves. Strong legs and a sculpted core not only improve posture but make you stand taller, move stronger, and radiate confidence wherever you go.

    Why This Workout Works for Confidence & Curves

    Focusing on strength shifts your mindset from appearance to ability. Each kettlebell exercise here isn’t just about sculpting glutes and legs — it’s about celebrating what your body can do. Strong, sculpted muscles lift and define your curves, improve posture, and heighten overall body awareness.

    This routine is more than just a workout it’s a celebration of your natural beauty, a boost to inner strength, and a way to cultivate confidence that shines from the inside out. When you train with intention, you’re not just building a physique you’re building a powerhouse.

    Workout curated in collaboration with strength coach Josefine Holmberg. Follow her journey and get more tips at @iamjosefineholmberg.

    Rituals Writers Use to Think Clearly and Live Slowly

    What some of the world’s most imaginative minds can teach us about calm, flow, and creativity.

    1. A Day in Patti Smith’s Life: A Lesson in Destressing

    Portrait of Patti Smith with long wavy hair wearing a black blazer and neutral-toned shirt, looking directly at the camera.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Patti starts her day with gentle stretches to clear her mind, then spends a few moments with her cat small rituals that center her. With notebook in hand, she steps out for coffee, writing wherever inspiration strikes, whether it’s a cozy café or a quiet park bench.

    She lets herself wander, giving her mind space to breathe until “something good is on TV.” At home, she enjoys writing in bed, a comforting way to process thoughts.

    Why it works for you:
    Following a similar rhythm mixing movement, small mindful tasks, and unstructured wandering can help you clear mental clutter, reduce stress, and spark creativity throughout your day.

    2. Jack Kerouac’s Writing Routine: Flow to Destress

    Black-and-white portrait of Jack Kerouac with short dark hair, looking off to the side with a serious expression.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Jack Kerouac lived by the motto, “First thought, best thought.” He carried a notebook everywhere, capturing ideas or quick “sketches” as they came. Mornings were reserved for free-flow writing, letting intuition guide him without editing. Afternoons and evenings were for refining and revising his work.

    Why it works for you:
    Embracing a similar approach writing freely without judgment in the morning can help you release mental clutter, relax your mind, and let creativity flow naturally before tackling the day’s tasks.

    3. Haruki Murakami’s Routine: Repetition as Calm

    Portrait of Haruki Murakami with short dark hair and a trimmed beard, wearing a black jacket and looking calmly at the camera.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Haruki Murakami starts his day at 4 a.m., writing for five to six hours before heading out for a 10-kilometer run, a 1,500-meter swim, or both. His afternoons are filled with reading and listening to music, and he’s in bed by 9 p.m.

    He calls this disciplined rhythm “a form of mesmerism,” where repetition lulls him into a deep, focused state perfect for writing.

    Why it works for you:
    Following a steady, intentional routine mixing work, movement, and quiet moments can calm the mind, reduce stress, and help you reach a flow state in your own creative or daily tasks.

    4. Toni Morrison’s Writing Routine: Finding Calm in the Morning

    Portrait of Toni Morrison with gray textured hair, gold hoop earrings, and a calm, confident expression.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Toni Morrison began her day before sunrise, savoring a quiet coffee before children or phone calls could interrupt her. She wrote steadily until noon or until life called her away.

    She often imagined her ideal routine: nine uninterrupted days to write, free from distractions, allowing her creativity and mind to fully settle.

    Why it works for you:
    Starting your day in peaceful solitude, even briefly, can help reduce stress, create mental space, and give your thoughts room to flow—turning mornings into a sanctuary for focus and calm.

    5. Henry Miller’s Routine: Balancing Work and Life

    Black-and-white portrait of Henry Miller wearing a suit jacket and tie, looking directly at the camera.
    Editorial Illustration by Obare Studio

    Henry Miller dedicated his mornings and afternoons to writing. On groggy days, he jotted down notes to keep his mind active. Evenings were reserved for what he called “Keeping Human”—meeting friends, reading, painting, biking, or discovering something new.

    He watched movies sparingly and visited the library weekly for inspiration.


    Combining focused work with enriching activities and meaningful social connections can reduce stress, keep your mind engaged, and maintain a healthy balance between creativity and life. Try it—it does wonders.

    I Had Never Seen Stretch Marks Like Hers — Part II

    Bare Model Feature

    That day the sun decided to shine over Los Angeles for the entirety of our shoot and it turned capturing her stretch marks, also known as her tiger stripes, into pure art.

    Color image of an artistic topless woman with visible stretch marks on her thighs and breasts, no makeup, embracing her natural body.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / GO BARE. No makeup. Unfiltered.

    The image below unfolded naturally for both of us. I told Bare Model Bianca, “I want you to feel sensual, embody your curves, your beauty, and feel something real,” and she delivered effortlessly.

    Bare-skinned woman posing with visible stretch marks and tattoos.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / GO BARE. No makeup. Unfiltered.

    One of my favorite shots was of her standing as her left thigh curved into the frame at a soft diagonal, creating a beautiful angle that opened the eye to her stunning hips. The smooth arc of her derriere, skin, and texture paired with her bare upper body added a sense of quiet allure and unposed honesty that captivated me. It was a moment I couldn’t look away from.

    Unfiltered rear portrait of a woman in soft indoor light, highlighting her natural stretch marks and authentic skin texture.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / GO BARE. No makeup. Unfiltered.

    The images that follow were taken as I told her to be in the moment. I said, “Don’t pose, just flow with your body and your sensuality.” I especially love how the sunlight reflected on the shower door and against her thighs, creating a beautiful atmosphere that day.

    Unfiltered black and white portrait of a woman in natural light, showing her stretch marks and real skin texture.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / GO BARE. No makeup. Unfiltered.

    Right before we ended this scene, I saw her standing still and I quickly toggled my settings and snapped this image of her. The stillness in this frame, combined with her body and the natural light, brings me back to 35mm film and cinema. It truly feels like a movie shot captured in one still.

    Photo: Karlo Gomez / GO BARE. No makeup. Unfiltered.
    ← Back to Part I

    The Quiet Joys You Only Feel When the Screen Is Down

    The World You Miss When You Scroll

    Two hands reaching toward each other above the ocean, sleeves in frame, with blue water and sky stretching into the horizon.
    Photo by Burcufilms

    A Study in Presence

    We live in a world that wants our eyes more than our attention. The phone glows, pulls, promises stimulation and quick escape. Hours disappear. But the moments that stay with us rarely come through a screen. They happen when we look up, when our hands are free, when the world feels textured and close.

    This is not about productivity or detoxing. It is about returning to the body, to the senses, to the physical life that waits patiently behind every notification. These are ten moments the phone cannot replace. A quiet exploration of real presence, written for the woman who wants to feel her time again.

    1. Walking Without Noise

    Walk without music, without podcasts, without distraction. Notice how your breath finds rhythm. A bird overhead. Sun landing on skin. The mind loosens its grip when it has nothing to hold. This simple act is mindfulness without instruction, nervous system calm without the app.

    2. Growing Something With Your Hands

    Planting herbs in a small pot. Tending to basil and mint. Watching new leaves push through the soil. Gardening is proof that life responds to patience. It teaches rhythm and waiting. Growth offline is slow and real and rooted in time, not content.

    3. Reading Ink Instead of Light

    A book with weight. A story that unfolds one page at a time. Reading interrupts urgency and replaces it with curiosity. Literature is a different kind of connection. It feeds a deeper place than scrolling ever could. Quiet focus becomes its own pleasure.

    4. Moving the Body with Intention

    Not workouts for output. Movement for sensation. Hip hinge. Breath expands ribs. Muscles warm under skin. When the body leads, the mind follows. Strength is not loud. It is built slowly, rep by rep, inside presence.

    5. Seeing Your Thoughts on Paper

    Handwriting reveals what the phone hides. Journaling is not performance, it is witness. Spill the mind onto paper and watch clarity rise. Sometimes the pen knows you before you do. This is reflection in its rawest version.

    6. Dinner Without Screens

    A table, warm light, conversation unbroken. Forks and voices. No photos. No proof. Just presence. This is connection when it is real and embodied. Offline relationships breathe differently. They taste different too.

    7. Viewing Art in Real Space

    A museum. A painting that holds you. Brushstrokes like fingerprints. Texture, color, scale. You stand in front of something made by another human hand. Art reminds us what attention can build. What presence allows.

    8. Watching Daylight Leave the Sky

    A sunset is quiet but not passive. Gold dissolves into violet. The world slows without announcement. There is no post that matches this pace. Looking up becomes its own form of meditation. A reminder that endings can be beautiful.

    9. Creating Something Imperfect

    Clay, ink, thread, camera. Hands move, mind softens. Creativity is not about mastery. It is about making something that did not exist until you touched it. Offline creativity builds confidence from within, not from likes.

    10. Doing Nothing at All

    Stillness is uncomfortable because it is honest. Sit. Breathe. Let boredom stretch. This is where intuition speaks. Where new ideas are born. A blank moment is not empty. It is space. Presence rediscovered.

    Why Looking Up Matters

    Life is textured when it is lived, not consumed. You do not have to reject your phone to reclaim your attention. You only have to choose when to enter the physical world again. Presence is not dramatic. It is subtle, sensory, slow. But it is the place where you feel yourself most.

    The next time your thumb reaches for the screen, pause. Inhale. Look around. Ask a quieter question.
    What is happening here, in your body, in your world, right now.

    Because when you look up, the world looks back.

    How My Body’s Quiet Transformation Carried Me Into Myself

    Bare Model Feature

    The First Time I Noticed My Body

    I didn’t think much about my body growing up. In middle school I could eat anything without gaining weight, and nothing felt complicated. That changed in eighth grade. A family trip to Mexico shifted everything. I gained around fifteen pounds almost overnight and those pounds settled on my hips and thighs. With them came stretch marks and cellulite and a new awareness of my body that I hadn’t felt before.

    Curvy white woman’s butt with cellulite and stretch marks, natural body, no makeup.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    I still remember asking my mom when they would disappear. She told me they wouldn’t. I didn’t understand then that these marks were not temporary or wrong. They were just part of becoming a woman. They were proof that my body was changing and carrying me into a new version of myself, even if I didn’t know how to feel about it yet.

    Young White woman standing, curvy body, all natural, no makeup, body confident.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Seeing Other Women Like Me

    As I got older I began noticing how many women’s bodies looked like mine. I saw the same texture on my friends. The same faint lines on women I admired. The same softness and very real skin that I once thought belonged only to me. Those marks weren’t flaws. They were history. They meant growth. They were stories written into the body.

    Young White woman standing, blue eyes, curvy body with cellulite and stretch marks, all natural, no makeup.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Learning to Be Seen

    During the pandemic I tried a FaceTime photoshoot just for fun. It was simple and imperfect, but it felt honest. Later, after moving to Los Angeles, I walked into a real shoot and let myself be seen without shrinking or tightening or posing away my softness.

    Photography helped me look at myself differently. Seeing my stretch marks and cellulite through the camera made me realize they were not things to fix. They were part of me. Being photographed as a Bare Model gave me a place to stand in my own skin without apology. It let me say, This is me. This is my body. This is what it remembers.

    Young white woman with blue eyes in underwear and sweater, natural curves and cellulite, no makeup, body positive.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    What My Body Holds

    Society still tells women to smooth everything out. We are taught to erase the evidence that time passes through us. But these marks don’t need permission to exist. They are not something to correct. They hold memory. They carry weight and movement and the years that shaped me.

    One of the most valuable things I’ve learned is to speak to myself with the same kindness I offer to others. I used to stare at every tiny detail. A line here. A dimple there. But most people don’t see us that way. They see laughter. The way we move. The energy we bring into a room. The marks become part of the story, not the headline.

    Curvy young white woman with hips and stretch marks, natural body, no makeup.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Still Growing

    My relationship with my body is not finished. It changes, and I change with it. Confidence rises and fades and returns again. But these marks remind me of where I’ve been and who I am becoming. Women’s bodies are meant to shift. To grow. To carry memory. My skin is a record of living.

    Find Bare Model Gibson on Instagram at @itsgibsonross

    Returning to Herself: A Photographic Series

    Bare Model Feature

    When Sharon stepped onto set as one of our Bare Models, she carried the kind of presence that makes you pause. A presence that makes you wonder how a woman like this exists in the world. Her beauty felt both familiar and undefinable, an effortless blend of strength and softness. Her curves radiated with a quiet power, and for a moment the entire room felt pulled into her orbit.

    The Weight of Being Told to Shrink

    For years Sharon lived in a world that expected her to shrink in every way. Shrink her body. Shrink her voice. Shrink her presence.

    The pressure found her in dressing rooms in relationships in social media and in her own reflection. Everywhere she looked she felt the message that her worth depended on how small she could become.

    “I spent so much time believing my body was the problem,” Sharon said.

    But the problem was never her body. It was the belief that she needed to fit a shape that was never designed with her in mind.

    Color beauty portrait of Sharon Clawson, Indian German woman, topless with arm covering chest, showing stretch marks, no makeup, natural beauty.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    The Real Meaning Behind Every Mark

    During our bare shoot with no lashes no filters and no digital softening Sharon finally looked at something she had spent years hiding. Her own skin.

    The stretch marks she once resented shifted into something new through the lens. They no longer reminded her of insecurity. They reminded her of life lived. They showed growth softness expansion and survival.

    These marks were not mistakes. They were a record of her becoming, a map she no longer wished to erase.

    Sharon posing naturally in sunlight highlighting her real skin and stretch marks while going bare.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Changing the Voice in the Mirror

    The most powerful part of Sharon’s evolution did not happen in front of the camera. It happened in her mind.

    “I started talking to myself the way I talk to people I love,”

    she said.

    With softness, with honesty, with grace.

    The mirror stopped being a place that demanded perfection. It became a place where she met the real version of herself. A place where she chose compassion instead of criticism. A place where she returned to herself rather than abandoning herself.

    This was her quiet revolution.

    Plus-size Sharon Clawson in white bathing suit, standing with bare face, no makeup, showing tummy, thighs, and stretch marks.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    The Beauty of Coming Home to Your Body

    Today Sharon carries something far deeper than confidence. She carries gratitude.

    She thanks her legs for holding her, her stomach for softening when she needed softness, her arms for carrying the people she loves, her body for remaining even when she doubted it most. The self loathing is gone and what remains is appreciation. What remains is home.

    Black and white artistic photo of Sharon Clawson’s curves, natural butt with cellulite and stretch marks, embracing body positivity.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A Story For Every Woman Who Has Ever Questioned Herself

    Sharon sitting confidently in a white bikini embracing her natural curves and stretch marks.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Photographing Sharon was not simply a session. It was a witnessing.

    Her strength is subtle, her beauty is lived in, and her presence feels like someone who has finally come home to her body.

    Sharon’s images remind us why Bare Models are creating a movement. They show what women look like when they stop shrinking themselves.

    “Natural beauty begins the moment you stop apologizing for being yourself.”

    Find Sharon on Instagram
    @sharontheclaw

    Ryley Gordon’s Bare Moment

    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Black and white photo of Ryley Gordon sitting confidently with no makeup, showing her natural tummy and embracing her body with self-love.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Black and white image of Ryley Gordon sitting and laughing naturally in black underwear, no makeup, celebrating her body and self-love.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Continue to the full article →

    The Woman Behind the Freckles

    Bare Model Feature

    When Bare Model Britney first stepped in front of Karlo’s camera back in 2021,

    the first thing you noticed were her freckles catching the light, soft, distinct, and completely her before she even settled into a pose.

    Close up portrait of Britney Lee showing her natural freckles, green eyes, and soft expression.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    When Bare Model Britney first stepped in front of Karlo’s camera back in 2021, the first thing you noticed were her freckles catching the light—soft, distinct, and completely her before she even settled into a pose.

    When Breath Softens a Woman Into Herself

    But even with that natural presence, she did what almost every woman does without realizing it. She held her breath a little, just enough to tighten her stomach and make her posture feel slightly controlled. It was that quiet instinct so many of us have learned over the years, the one that tells us to make ourselves a bit smaller and a bit smoother without even thinking about it.

    Then something simple happened. Karlo told her “Just breathe. Let it be natural.” It was not emotional or dramatic, just an easy reminder, but the moment she exhaled everything shifted. Her freckles softened into the light. Her curves settled into their real shape. Her eyes stopped performing for the camera and started to actually look into it. It felt like when a friend finally relaxes around you and suddenly you see who they really are, not the version they think they need to be.

    Britney Lee standing in neon lingerie, red hair loose, freckles glowing, embracing her curves with natural confidence.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    From that moment on, the photos were no longer poses. They were her. Her presence. Her softness. Her shape. Her freckles. All of it showing up without hesitation. What makes Britney memorable is not that she walked in confident.

    Britney Lee standing tall, showcasing her natural figure and full curves, red hair flowing, body-positive and makeup-free.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Real Skin Holds More Power Than Perfection

    It is that she allowed herself to be seen without trying to control every inch of the moment. She did not force a message. She did not try to be bold. She just showed up honestly and honesty always reads clearly on camera. Later she told us,

    “I'm beginning to truly understand that it’s perfectly normal to have tummy rolls, whether they’re small or large,”

    and the way she said it made the moment feel even more real. It was not a slogan or something rehearsed. It was the kind of realization that comes from finally breathing in your own skin.

    Color portrait of Britney Lee seated, red hair undone, makeup-free with visible tummy rolls, celebrating effortless beauty.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Her curves, the part she used to second guess, ended up giving the images their strength and softness at the same time. And her freckles, the ones she once covered or blurred, became the very thing that makes her unforgettable. None of this happened because she pushed herself. It happened because she stopped trying to fix what was never broken in the first place.

    A Bare Model Who Let Herself Be Seen

    Britney shared.

    “Cellulite and curves are not flaws but unique features that make you, you.”
    (Britney’s BTS moment: proving that cellulite isn’t a flaw, it’s just her butt’s natural sparkle.)
    Britney Lee posing in natural light, showing her curves, red hair, and freckled face turned over her shoulder.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Britney’s photos stand out because they feel like a real woman on a real day, someone you could sit with and talk to. There is something comforting and grounding about that kind of presence. Maybe that is why she remains one of the most memorable Bare Models we have photographed. Not because she arrived ready but because she allowed herself to be real.

    Find Britney on Instagram: @__babybrit__

    A Quiet, Honest Look Behind the Lens With Bare Model Kendall

    Bare Model Feature

    Some shoots stick with you for years, not because they were perfect but because they were real. That is what happened with Kendall back in 2022. She arrived with the same quiet weight so many women carry. That whisper in your head that says, I hope I look okay. Do not let anyone see the parts you do not love. I am trying, but it is hard.

    Kendall was not just a woman showing up for a shoot. She was a Bare Model stepping into her own study of shape and confidence.

    The Body She Worked For

    There was pride in her curves and she meant every bit of it. Her butt. Her little tummy. The cellulite she never apologized for. She joked about it, but underneath the laughter was ownership. She earned her silhouette through mornings she did not want to run, through squats that left her shaking, through consistency that does not make it to Instagram.

    This part of the shoot was about that. The curves she loved. The softness she was still learning to accept. The real skin texture women are told to hide. Yet these are the things that make a body cinematic. Unfiltered. Lived in.

    There is something deeply sensual about confidence that does not need to be loud. It is a hum, not a shout. The kind of self regard that says this is me, without needing permission to exist.

    When She Stepped In Frame

    It was one part of her body she genuinely loved and it showed. Even while she was figuring out the rest. A Bare Model in process. Strength beside softness.

    And when she stepped in front of the camera something shifted. Not a dramatic moment. Just a calm settling into herself. A deep breath. A soft exhale. Like she said, Alright. Let us do this. This is me.

    A portrait does not always need fireworks. Sometimes the most powerful image is a woman choosing to be seen.

    Woman with curly hair sitting on the floor in black and white, showing natural body folds and soft expression.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Woman lying on a bed in lingerie, photographed in black and white with natural curves and soft light.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Woman with natural curves and visible cellulite standing in lingerie, photographed from behind in black and white.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Artistic black and white close-up of a woman’s hip with light and shadow on a checkered blanket.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Black and white film-strip close-up of a woman’s hip and curves in soft natural light.
    a

    Angelina Love on Confidence Comparison and Becoming Herself

    Bare Model Feature

    Angelina Love has the kind of presence that enters a room before sound ever follows. When she moved from the East Coast to Los Angeles her intention was simple and unshakeable: pursue modeling without shrinking herself to match expectation. As a Bare Model her story reflects resilience shaped long before the camera turned toward her.

    Growing up Angelina often felt slightly outside the beauty ideals around her. Her curves her texture her curls her voice. She was never the version she was told she must be. The same differences became the center of her strength.

    Leaving home and crossing the country meant letting go of comfort. The auditions the rejections the opinions. They came with the territory and pushed her deeper into herself. The more the world tried to define her the more she insisted on defining her own expression.

    Black and white portrait of Lebanese-Mexican woman with natural curly hair, no makeup, timeless beauty
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    “Loving myself was not instant,” she says. “I had to learn what it meant to put myself first.” She remembers the moment she realized confidence must rise from within or it will never hold. That shift rewrote the direction of her life.

    Today Angelina is signed in LA working on music and building a career guided by her voice. She knows people always have opinions. She no longer edits herself to soothe them.

    Black and white photograph of her backside, long curly hair, natural curves, no makeup
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    The Body She Grew Into

    Q: How have you struggled with your body over the years?
    “I have heard everything. Too big. Too short. Too skinny. Too much. Not enough. I stopped letting those comments define how I saw myself. Beauty standards change every season. I do not.”

    Black and white image of her lying on bed in underwear and tank top, curly hair, no makeup authenticity
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Where Confidence Truly Begins

    Q: What do people misunderstand about confidence?
    “That it comes from outside. It does not. People assume I never doubt myself because of my shape or my photos. They have no idea how long it took to feel grounded in my own skin.”

    During her shoot Angelina stepped in front of the lens without makeup. No contour no distraction. Only the architecture of her face and the softness that makes her recognizable anywhere. Shooting bare revealed what she had not fully seen before. Imperfection became detail. Detail became texture. Texture became beauty.

    (Angelina ditched the makeup, kept the glow, and reminded us that confidence is the real contour—oh, and her booty deserves its own spotlight.)

    Shooting without makeup gave her a deeper appreciation for imperfection.

    “Seeing imperfections is powerful — in yourself and others. It was challenging at first because we are our own biggest critics. But I learned to love my imperfections — my dark circles, my curves, my body as it is.”
    Color portrait of a young Latina woman with slicked-back hair, no makeup, wearing a tank top, shot in natural light, highlighting her natural beauty.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A New Kind of Comfort in Her Skin

    Then came the moment she posed topless for the first time.

    “At first I was nervous. I had never done anything like this in my modeling career. But facing that new territory made me more confident. I learned to pose with my body not hide behind materials. I felt empowered knowing my story could inspire women worldwide facing similar struggles.”
    Portrait of Angelina Love with natural curls and soft golden light, photographed by Karlo Gomez for Obare.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    And topless? That brought a new kind of love.

    “I’ve always been self-conscious about my breasts, but now I love their shape… cute little things.”
    Color photograph of her standing in underwear and white tank top, slender natural body, effortless elegance
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Her message remains simple and clear


    “Someone somewhere always has an opinion about you. The real power is choosing your own.”
    Color image of her backside in underwear and tank top, slender body, natural femininity in focus
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    For more from Angelina Love find her on Instagram @chingona_777

    The Vulva Unedited:

    A Story of Vulva Insecurity and Real Anatomy
    Image courtesy of Bella Davis

    Growing Up With Vulva Insecurity

    When I was 12, I avoided tight jeans and gym shorts because the outline of my vulva showed through the fabric. I was told it was something to hide.

    At 14, I wanted labiaplasty, not because I understood the procedure, but because I believed my labia were wrong. Too visible. Too present. Too real.

    At 18, a partner said the words that stayed with me longer than they should have.
    “It’s weird that it hangs.”

    At 19, the adult entertainment industry taught me that hair was not desirable. I shaved everything. Razor burn. Red bumps. Pain disguised as beauty. For years, the only vulvas I saw were symmetrical, hairless, pale, tucked-in, and edited into sameness. Bodies curated to meet someone else’s idea of acceptable. Mine was never that.

    Insecurity Has Memory

    I tucked my labia inward with my fingers before intimacy as if transformation could happen in seconds. I wanted to disappear the parts that made me different.

    Many of us know this feeling even if we do not say it aloud. We learn to curate our bodies before we ever learn to inhabit them. Vulva insecurity grows quietly and stays.

    The Body in Its Real Form

    Image courtesy of Bella Davis

    This is what vulvas actually look like. Dangling labia. Puffy labia. Labia that tuck and labia that unfold. Skin that shifts from pink to brown to deep wine. Texture. Folds. Hair. Asymmetry. A prominence of hood. A softness of curve. None of these are flaws. They are texture. Variation. Anatomy. The truth of a real vulva when no one edits it.

    A New Lens

    Vulvas exist in contrast and in softness. Hair grows. Patterns form. Shapes fold and expand. Some bodies hold light like silk. Others darken into shadow and grain. All are real. What you see here is not perfection. It is truth. No smoothing. No removal of hair. No manipulation of shape. Just a vulva. Unedited. As it exists on a real woman in real light with no permission asked.

    Not every vulva looks alike. Not every vulva wants to. Sometimes the most honest body is the one that exists without apology.

    A Study in Softness

    Dimples lace my thighs and stretch marks frame my hips.

    photographed in natural light against a minimal white background.
    Courtesy of Bella Davis. Edit by Karlo Gomez.

    A layer of softness sits at my stomach and along the curve of my back. These things are not imperfections. They are simply features of a living body. My body. A human body that has carried me through every year and every version of myself.

    "These things are not imperfections. They are simply features of a living body that has carried me through every version of myself."

    What you see here is not a flaw. It is texture and movement and softness. It is evidence of being alive.

    Growing at Every Stage

    I spent years shrinking myself. Covering softness. Avoiding mirrors. Waiting until I was smaller or tighter or more acceptable. I see now how much life I wasted in that holding pattern.

    "I spent years thinking I needed to hide until I was smaller or more acceptable and I see now how much life I lost in the waiting."

    You do not have to treat your body like a problem. Care for her. Feed her well. Move her. Let her breathe outside. Show up the way she has always carried you.

    Learning the Body Instead of Fighting It

    Taking care of the body is presence not control. When I run or stretch or dance she feels like mine again. The more I move the more I inhabit myself instead of hovering above my own skin.

    "Taking care of the body is presence not punishment."

    I touch the softness at my stomach with less urgency now. I see the texture of my thighs without critique. This relationship is slow but real. It is happening.

    The Body Wants to Be Your Home

    A soft body lying in profile with folds of skin along the waist and the curve of the hip, photographed unedited and close-framed against a plain white wall.
    Courtesy of Bella Davis. Edit by Karlo Gomez.

    I used to believe my body was something to fix. Something to manage. But she has been waiting for me. Not perfect. Not smaller. Just present.

    "My body is not asking to be perfected. She is asking to be lived in."

    She wants movement and sensation and breath. Not control. Not surveillance. When I return to her she meets me with softness instead of resistance. I think she always would have. I just wasn’t ready.

    I love her. Not as performance. As truth. She is the only home I have ever had.

    Follow Bella Davis on Instagram @BellaDavis

    Learning to Be Alone

    power of solitude
    A single striped folding chair sitting alone in an empty sunlit open lot with long shadow and a distant gas station under a clear sky.
    Photo by Isabella Mendes

    Being alone can feel especially hard when loneliness hits, but these moments can become a sanctuary of self awareness and clarity. Slowly and quietly, solitude begins to open doors inside you. Over time it evolves into something rich and grounding. The power of solitude becomes less about separation from others and more about returning to yourself. It softens the noise of the world until you can finally hear your own voice again.

    A Beginning of Quiet Discovery

    It is not easy. The process can be vulnerable and uncomfortable. It may bring emotion to the surface you once kept buried. Yet there is beauty in sitting with yourself without distraction. In solitude you witness your own thoughts with tenderness. You learn the shape of your mind and the texture of your emotional landscape.

    My journey began when I left a small California suburb for a college town outside Philadelphia. I knew no one. Privacy disappeared overnight as I shared a room with six other girls. Being alone brought anxiety and the silent weight of imagined judgment. I kept myself busy. Headphones in. Thoughts quiet. Eventually I realized I did not know what others thought and more importantly I no longer cared. Errands. Walks. Quiet afternoons. They became easier. The shift was internal.

    Trying New Experiences Solo

    Man in quiet museum space watching video art exhibition on television learning about self discovery
    Photo by Ngoc Lan on Unsplash

    The real test came when I began saying yes to experiences alone. Night art markets. Clubs and raves. Tango classes. Waves breaking beneath a surfboard. Restaurants where the only company was my own presence. Fear returned with every new step yet each moment revealed something. My anxiety was not about other people. It was about meeting myself in unfamiliar spaces. The power of solitude taught me that my discomfort was simply a doorway.

    Turning Fear Into a Companion

    In time I gave my fear a name. A voice. A seat beside me rather than in front of me. Fear wanted to protect me from rejection. Anxiety wanted certainty. When I learned to acknowledge them gently I carried less weight. I no longer begged for validation or searchlights of approval. I became softer with myself and stronger in my choices. Connections deepened when I no longer needed them to complete me.

    A Relationship Built From Within

    Human connection matters but everything begins with the self. Solitude offers introspection. It teaches awareness. It sharpens the senses through moments of stillness. I am still learning. Still unfolding. I uncover a new layer every day and solitude remains one of my greatest teachers.

    The power of solitude did not isolate me. It returned me to myself.

    Sometimes my mind won’t stay still

    Inside a restless mind
    Unmade bed with sunlight and deep shadows on a pillow and blanket symbolizing restless sleep and anxiety.
    Photo by Isabella Mendes

    Anxiety moves quietly. It arrives as tight breath as restless thinking as a body that cannot quite settle into the moment. For many people it becomes a constant hum beneath daily life. Racing thoughts. A heart that rises before anything has happened. A sense of being present yet slightly out of frame. There are ways to soften it. Not solutions. Practices. Approaches that bring the mind back into place.

    Mindfulness as a return to the moment

    Mindfulness meditation teaches the body to sit with what is happening rather than react to it. When attention returns to the present the grip of anxious thought loosens. Studies show that regular meditation changes how the brain responds to stress. Over time it builds space between thought and reaction. A pause long enough to breathe. This is not perfection. It is training. A slow reorientation toward calm.

    Movement as a regulator

    Exercise supports anxiety management through chemistry and rhythm. When the body moves endorphins rise. Mood shifts. The nervous system lowers its shoulders. Even twenty minutes of walking or yoga can bring relief. Movement also improves sleep which becomes essential when anxiety is loud. A tired mind is a volatile mind. A rested one can negotiate with fear.

    What we consume and how it affects the mind

    Caffeine sharpens anxiety. Alcohol numbs and returns with more force the next morning. Both alter the nervous system. Both require attention. Awareness of intake becomes part of managing the experience. Less stimulation means fewer spikes. The mind can find steadier ground.

    Sleep as a stabilizer

    Seven to nine hours of uninterrupted rest allows the brain to process and file the day. When sleep is fractured anxiety grows teeth. A simple routine supports recovery. Light off. Screens away. A warm bath or slow breathing before bed. Routine signals safety. Safety signals calm.

    Breath as an anchor

    Deep diaphragmatic breathing activates the body’s natural relaxation response. Slow inhale through the belly. Slow release. It brings oxygen. It slows the heart. In moments of panic this is often the fastest doorway back into the body. A reminder that the mind can be guided. Anxiety is not the only voice.

    There is no single answer for anxiety. There is only practice. Meditation. Movement. Sleep. Breath. Awareness of what enters the body. These are tools not cures. Some days they work like a key. Some days they feel like a whisper. The goal is not perfection. It is returning. Again and again. Until the blur softens.

    A Cultural Portrait of Forty Black Women

    “Sexy Shades of Black” was created as a space where Black women could stand in their own light without being shaped or softened by the world’s expectations. The moment the forty women stepped into formation, the energy was undeniable. No choreography. No matching direction. Just women claiming their place, their shade, their form, and their definition of what sexy looks like on their terms.

    A Study of Shade Form and Presence

    The frame holds more than a gathering. It captures the many ways Black womanhood refuses to conform to anyone’s idea of beauty. Each woman carries her own expression her own skin tone her own silhouette shaped by her own life. Nothing moderated. Nothing diluted. Just presence grounded and unfiltered.

    Forty Bodies Forty Realities

    Across the line you see deep tones golden hues natural textures soft curves sharp edges and bodies that exist exactly as they are. The women do not mirror each other. They do not match. They stand as individuals who know that their shade their body and their identity have never needed permission.

    A Collective That Does Not Ask To Be Understood

    What forms between them is a quiet recognition. A sense of belonging that does not need explanation. It is the power of seeing yourself reflected in others who refuse to conform to the narrow ideas society once tried to hand them.

    Group photo of 40 Black women celebrating body positivity and sisterhood in a park
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    This photograph is not a statement.It is a record.A moment where forty Black women stand as themselves owning their presence defining sexy in their own language and shaping a frame that belongs entirely to them.

    She Showed Up Unfiltered

    and Completely Changed How We See Beauty

    Back in 2018, I traveled to the vibrant streets of Miami. Sun kissed beaches, rich culture, stories waiting to be told. My mission was simple but powerful, capturing women in their most natural form.

    One session stood apart. Gabriela, a stunning Latina woman, walked into the shoot without hesitation, without filters, without concealing anything. She showed up as herself. Curves, cellulite, hip dips, every quiet detail of her body. That moment shifted my understanding of beauty. It was not just a photoshoot. It was a celebration of a woman in her full expression.

    Black and white photo of a Latina woman with cellulite, curves, and hip dips, embracing her natural body. Going bare, unfiltered, wearing underwear, showing thick thighs and authentic beauty
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Gabriela and the Courage to Be Seen

    Gabriela lived many years under the weight of self doubt. The world told her her body needed to be corrected, softened, reshaped, hidden. Cellulite should be erased. Hip dips should not exist. Curves should be sculpted into something smaller.

    But Gabriela wrote a new page in her story that day. She stepped in front of my camera and into her own acceptance. She offered her body as it was, without apology. During wardrobe check we made sure her curves had their own spotlight, and she carried them proudly.

    (A little BTS from our shoot, during wardrobe check… making sure her curves had their own spotlight.)
    "Her confidence radiated. It reminded me that beauty is not about perfection. It lives between what society calls imperfect and what we call ourselves. Gabriela’s cellulite is part of her story. Her hip dips make her uniquely her. To me, these are some of the most beautiful aspects of a woman’s body. They create balance and harmonize her beauty, making her authentic and one of a kind. To me, that is beautiful." — Karlo
    Empowering black and white photo of Gabriela embracing her body with visible cellulite and curves
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Cellulite and Hip Dips as Natural Body Features

    Nearly ninety percent of women have cellulite. Still it remains one of the most judged features on the female body. Hip dips too carry misunderstanding. They are natural curves that many women feel pressured to change through training or surgery.

    Gabriela choosing not to hide them was powerful. At OBARE we celebrate these natural forms. Every body is meant to hold its own shape, its own lines, its own story.

    Artistic black and white image of woman’s butt and hip dips celebrating natural body features
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    The Power of Authentic Photography

    This session reminded me why authentic photography matters. No heavy makeup. No airbrushing. No digital reshaping. Just real skin and real form. Art that does not correct the body but reveals it.

    Authentic photography becomes liberation. A refusal to erase what the world has deemed imperfect. It shows beauty in its true balance, where the raw and the refined exist together.

    Gabriela’s courage revealed a quiet truth. Real beauty lives in ownership of self. Cellulite included. Hip dips included. The woman included.

    Black and white photo of a Latina woman sitting, showcasing her natural curves, hip dips, and cellulite with confidence and self-love.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A New Lens on the Female Body

    Gabriela gave herself a stage through the lens. Her story reminds us that transformation begins with courage. When a woman shows up unfiltered she shifts the narrative for all of us.

    No more hiding. No more shrinking. The world is ready for real women and the camera is ready too.

    The Ancient Math Behind Why We Can’t Stop Admiring Women’s Curves

    There is something undeniably captivating about the natural curves of a woman’s body especially her butt. These curves are often celebrated for their beauty, but they may also be connected to something far deeper a mathematical phenomenon found throughout nature. The Fibonacci Spiral.

    The Fibonacci sequence forms the Golden Ratio. A pattern present in seashells, galaxies, weather spirals, and the curvature of the human body. The way a woman’s hips and buttocks round and flow can be understood through the same mathematical harmony seen throughout the natural world.

    Visual representation of the Golden Ratio, showcasing the Fibonacci Spiral as a symbol of balance, harmony, and the natural beauty seen in bodies and nature.
    Stock image via Unsplash

    The Golden Ratio and the Female Form

    The Fibonacci Spiral does not only exist in plants and oceans. It appears in the elegant curves of the human body. A woman’s back arches into her hips and flows into her butt with a fluid pattern that mirrors the spiral. Studies suggest that people perceive curves as more attractive when they align with symmetrical Golden Ratio proportions. Which may explain why the eye instinctively follows and admires these shapes.

    Black and white photo of a fit woman confidently showing her natural stretch marks, celebrating body symmetry and the beauty of real curves inspired by the Fibonacci Spiral.
    Photo of Anonymous by Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. Unfiltered Beauty

    This connection is even more apparent in the hourglass figure. A form historically associated with fertility and strength. The curvature of the hips and butt aligns with the Fibonacci flow. A natural rhythm echoed in seashells. Spiral staircases. Storm systems. Patterns that repeat across time and space.

    Architectural spiral staircase captured from above, illustrating the Fibonacci Spiral and the mathematical elegance found in both design and the human form.
    Stock image via Unsplash

    Why We Are Naturally Drawn to Curves

    Attraction to curves is not only cultural. Research shows it is biological. Humans are drawn to symmetry and proportion because the brain interprets it as balance and health. The hourglass figure is admired through history because its proportions echo the Fibonacci Spiral and the Golden Ratio. The waist to hip ratio plays a significant role in perceived attractiveness. A subtle mathematical cue the mind responds to even without conscious awareness.

    Portrait of a thick Black woman embracing her body’s natural proportions and the elegance of curves shaped by nature’s Golden Ratio.
    Photo of Asia McKinney by Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. Unfiltered beauty

    Natural Beauty in Every Curve

    Understanding the Fibonacci Spiral in relation to the female form offers a fresh way to view beauty. Your curves are not random. They are reflections of the same mathematical elegance found in galaxies and ocean tides. To struggle with body image is to forget that your body already reflects nature’s design. The curves you see in the mirror are mathematically harmonious. A record of growth strength and form.

    Plus-size Black woman sitting peacefully on a wooden table outdoors, radiating confidence and self-love, reflecting the harmony and balance found in natural curves.
    Photo of Judah by Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    The Golden Ratio teaches us that perfection is not rigidity. It is balance. Harmony. Women’s bodies with their range of shapes and silhouettes reflect this balance every day. From the roundness of the hips to the natural line of the butt each body tells a story of evolution rhythm and beauty. In a world that promotes narrow standards the Fibonacci Spiral reminds us that bodies are already perfect by nature.

    Apolonia Calleja The Woman In Her Own Form

    Bare Model Feature

    Navigating the path to confidence in one’s body can feel overwhelming but for Apolonia Calleja, aka Apples, it’s a journey she lives every day. As a seasoned fitness trainer, gym owner, and Bare Model, Apolonia Calleja embodies what it means to live within one’s own form. Her life reflects resilience and, more importantly, shows how to find certainty in the face of challenges.

    Empowering portrait of Apolonia Calleja highlighting her strong quad in orange underwear and Dr. Marten boots
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. Unfiltered beauty

    A Journey Of Acceptance

    For Apolonia Calleja, this didn’t come overnight. It developed through years of dedication not only to fitness but to accepting her body as it naturally evolves. She explains:


    “As I get older, I am learning to accept how my body changes. If you continue to love and pour into yourself, you will always accept what changes your body is making and embrace it.”

    Her story is a reminder this isn’t a destination it’s a continuous journey. The more effort we put into ourselves, the more we learn to cherish the unique changes our bodies undergo..

    Fitness As A Lifestyle Not Just A Look

    Fitness for Apolonia Calleja is more than a workout it’s a way of life. As a trainer and gym owner at LIV FIT (@livfitgymfacility), she inspires others to see movement as a gift, not a chore.

    “Being able to stay active and just move my body is a blessing.”

    Her drive comes from a deeper purpose:

    “I want to live a long life and be the best I can be for my son and future kids!”

    Fitness for her is about vitality, longevity, and celebrating life not just achieving a certain look.

    Black and white image of Apolonia Calleja wearing an oversized black coat, confidently posing braless in a bold, artistic portrait
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Confidence Born From Hard Work

    Apolonia Calleja’s certainty shines because it is earned. She embraces her body proudly, recognizing the power in persistence:


    “The female body is remarkable, and recognizing that gives me confidence.”

    And she celebrates her achievements joyfully:


    “After all those squats, why skip the bikini? No way—I’m rocking it!”
    Apolonia Calleja in a vibrant orange one-piece swimsuit, embracing her curves and confidence with a radiant smile
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Her story proves that confidence grows from honoring the effort we put into our lives.

    Balance Kindness And Compassion Toward Herself

    Part of Apolonia Calleja’s philosophy is maintaining kindness toward herself while pursuing her goals. “With all the hard work, I do my best to still treat myself.”

    Her approach combines discipline with joy work hard for a time, enjoy life fully, and avoid unnecessary self-misery. Listening to your body and savoring the process, she says, is the key to lasting fulfillment.

    Her Message Stop Comparing Start Celebrating Yourself

    For women hesitant to reveal themselves, Apolonia Calleja offers this advice:

    “Work hard! You know what is good and bad for you. Stop comparing yourself to others and love on yourself!”

    She reminds us that certainty comes from focusing on personal progress:

    “If you are doing all the things that serve you, you will eventually find the confidence to be happy and proud to show off your beautiful body!”

    Her words are a call to action honor your journey, and celebrate the unique beauty that is yours alone.

    Apolonia Calleja picking a lemon from a tree while wearing a thong, celebrating natural beauty and body confidence in nature
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Embrace Your Body

    Apolonia Calleja’s story is not just about fitness it’s about transformation. It’s about overcoming doubt, finding strength through discipline, and discovering certainty through acceptance. Her journey as a Bare Model shows us that self-respect comes from honoring our bodies and celebrating progress.

    For anyone on the path of growth, Apples offers one final reminder:

    “stop comparing yourself to others, start celebrating yourself, and embrace your body in every stage of life.”
    Close-up portrait of Apolonia Calleja highlighting her natural beauty, glowing skin, and confident expression
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Find Apple's on instagram: @apoloniacalleja

    The Choice That Rewrote Her Body Story

    The Beginning: A Woman Growing Up Against Her Reflection

    In the vibrant city of Orlando, where sunshine paints the streets in warmth and magic hangs in the air, we meet Courtney Faith. She is twenty four. A woman who spent years wrestling with the mirror.

    Woman sitting on the floor with hands resting against her cheeks, wearing an oversized white T-shirt, natural lighting and soft expression.
    Photo courtesy of Courtney Faith

    For much of her life, insecurity lived quietly in her shadow. Like many women, she felt shaped by society’s expectations. Filters. Diets. Standards that moved like shifting goalposts. Kindness toward herself was rare.

    Her experience is familiar. It is the silent uncertainty in dressing rooms. The invisible comparison while scrolling through strangers online. The private discomfort we rarely put into words.

    When She Stopped Looking at Her Body and Started Using It

    Woman in a lime green bikini leaning forward in shallow ocean water, hair loose, smiling brightly with beach landscape behind her.
    Photo courtesy of Courtney Faith

    Courtney shifted her attention. Instead of chasing an image, she began exploring what her body could do. She moved. She trained. Dance classes, boxing, running, pole work. Each new practice built stamina in her body and clarity in her mind.

    Affirmations became part of her daily routine. Not romantic slogans. Not forced positivity. Simple honest language. Small promises she could honor. Her relationship with her reflection began to soften through action, not perfection.

    The Bold Choice That Rewrote Her Narrative

    Her turning point was not a transformation of her body. It was awareness.

    Instead of shrinking herself, Courtney decided to inhabit the woman she already was. Curves. Freckles. Lines. Every story written across her skin. She stopped waiting to become worthy. She stepped into worth.

    Close-up of a woman outdoors with eyes closed in sunlight, wearing a floral swimsuit with dewy skin and relaxed expression.
    Photo courtesy of Courtney Faith

    Speaking to herself with the care she once reserved for others gave her room to breathe. The freedom she found was simple and powerful. She lived unfiltered. Real.

    Why Her Story Matters

    Confidence is not lightning. It does not arrive suddenly. It grows in consistent choices. Courtney’s story mirrors what many women know intimately. The struggle. The shift. The slow reclaiming of self.

    OBARE exists for this truth. Women in their rawest form. Not perfected. Not corrected. Women who stand in their own frame without asking permission.

    Woman seated on a deck at sunset wearing a pink long-sleeve top, smiling toward the camera with soft evening light.
    Photo courtesy of Courtney Faith

    The Lesson She Leaves With Us

    Worth is not earned through filters or numbers on a scale. It is recognized.

    Courtney’s story is one woman’s story. But it echoes everywhere. Women choosing themselves. Women rewriting beauty standards. Women returning to their bodies as something to live in, not to battle.

    Woman posing confidently at the shoreline in a two-tone blue bikini, hands framing her face, sky and ocean behind her.
    Photo courtesy of Courtney Faith

    To see more of Courtney follow her on Instagram @thecourtneyfaith

    She Battled Anorexia at 17

    then Picked Up a Camera and It Changed Everything

    Meet Zoe Waechter

    She Battled Anorexia at 17 Then Picked Up a Camera and It Changed Everything

    Meet Zoe Waechter, a 23 year old French woman born in Bastia, Corsica, with Kabyle and German heritage shaping her identity. This is how photography became the tool that helped her reconnect with her body and eventually step back into visibility.

    Zoe Waechter standing in black lingerie, highlighting her curves and empowered stance
    Photo courtesy of Zoe Waechter

    Anorexia at Seventeen and the Lens that Changed Perspective

    Zoe’s relationship with her body was not gentle. Like many women she grew up under the weight of beauty standards that rewarded smallness and obedience. At seventeen anorexia took hold. Her body became a battlefield and her mind sharpened itself against her own reflection.

    Growing up in a culture that worshipped a narrow ideal Zoe pushed herself toward it even as it hurt. She chased the silhouette she was told to want until she nearly disappeared into it.

    Then she found a camera. Photography became a new way of seeing. The lens offered distance and clarity. It let her step outside herself just long enough to witness her own shape instead of judging it. Over time she explored her body in portraits angles light shifts and captured herself as subject rather than flaw.

    Close-up of Zoe Waechter laying down, showcasing serene expression and facial features
    Photo courtesy of Zoe Waechter

    How Photography Became a Form of Anorexia Recovery and Self Returning

    Through the lens she began to see herself differently.

    Photographing her body from different perspectives helped interrupt old narratives. It reframed softness became texture. Bones became structure. Skin became light rather than measurement.

    It was not instant. It was not linear. It was practice. Photo after photo she learned to meet herself rather than punish herself.

    Portrait of Zoe Waechter’s face, celebrating raw beauty and emotional depth
    Photo courtesy of Zoe Waechter

    Greece and the Quiet Shift Toward Belonging in Her Skin

    Zoe’s turning point arrived when she moved to Greece. In the quiet rhythm of that place she found space to breathe without comparison. October sunlight and water moved through her days and she felt a sense of belonging she had not known before. Her body no longer felt like an enemy. It became her home.

    Zoe Waechter sitting in lingerie, embracing body confidence and natural beauty
    Photo courtesy of Zoe Waechter

    She Loved Her Eyes First

    When asked about her favorite feature Zoe does not hesitate. Her eyes.
    “They are the windows to my identity my mood and my emotions.”

    Where thighs and stomach held tension her eyes remained truth. They never left her even when her body felt distant. They anchored her in the mirror during years where she was unsure whether she deserved to exist in the frame at all.

    Zoe Waechter in a bathtub with running eyeshadow, capturing vulnerability and artistic emotion
    Photo courtesy of Zoe Waechter

    For Women Still Learning to Live in Their Bodies

    Zoe shares this message for women who feel disconnected from themselves. Your relationship with your body can change. The process of returning to yourself may be slow but it is possible. Life shifts. You shift. You grow. You come back to the body you once abandoned and learn to inhabit it without apology.

    Reconnect with what brings you joy. Allow curiosity to replace comparison. Let your body be more than an ideal. Let it be a place.

    (BTS of Zoe before shooting)

    To see more of Zoe follow her on Instagram @zoewaectr

    An intimate view of the artist who becomes the subject she once painted.

    Georgia was eight when she first recognized beauty.

    Not the polished kind but the kind shaped by presence and stillness. An M and S Christmas advert caught her eye, the women holding themselves with quiet intention. That moment stayed with her. It was her introduction to form, to the body as art, to the subtle language of shape and gaze.

    Now twenty seven, Georgia moves between canvas and camera with an instinct that feels almost inevitable. She paints bodies the way memory holds them soft edges blurred color suggestion instead of detail the early roots of a contemporary female photographer and painter emerging long before she knew the path.

    Gia in the kitchen with short hair, glowing skin, and a soft smile – capturing natural elegance in everyday life.
    Photo courtesy of Gia

    Becoming the subject she once searched for

    When she steps in front of the lens she becomes the woman she once studied on canvas a female artist who paints and photographs her own body unfiltered and direct. She says,

    "I've never called myself a model before. Maybe I should start? I don't know. All I know is I'm a girl who loves to be in front and behind the camera. It's freeing," she reflects.
    Back view of Gia looking in the mirror while brushing her teeth, showing her natural curves in white cotton underwear and socks – embracing everyday self-love.
    Photo courtesy of Gia

    The studio where memory becomes form

    Her work is not about perfection. It is about truth. The truth of flesh. The truth of curve. The truth of being seen without performance. In her studio she studies the body. In front of the lens she offers it. Both versions are her.

    Colorful abstract wall art painted by Gia – soft, expressive strokes reflecting emotion and femininity.
    “Confession" by Gia, in wall art displayed by OBARE
    Watercolor wall art titled ‘Lust’ by artist Gia, displayed by OBARE — nude female form celebrating natural beauty and artistic expression.
    “Lust" by Gia, in wall art displayed by OBARE
    Three separate close-up shots of Gia’s original wall art paintings – showcasing her talent and emotional artistry.
    “Soft Love" by Gia, in wall art displayed by OBARE

    Her studio holds its own quiet language. Canvases rest against the wall. Thin layers of color settle across the surface. Her paintings feel like memories not replicas the atmospheric style often found in body focused contemporary art more than technical realism.

    Through painting she learned that insecurities often live louder in the mind than in the body. She discovered that what she notices about herself is not always what others see. That realization shaped her work and the way she views her subjects.

    Gia bent over in bed with natural lighting on her body and wall art in the background – artistic fusion of form and expression.
    Photo courtesy of Gia

    Between artist and muse

    Photography is where Georgia feels most present. She becomes both the observer and the observed the duality common among modern women creating self portrait art. There is a soft confidence in the way she holds her gaze. A quiet knowing.

    "You have to stop caring what other people think,"

    Simple words but they settle with truth. She learned to choose what feels right on her body instead of what looks right to someone else. Joy became the foundation of her presence in front of the lens.

    Gia lying in bed wearing thigh-high socks, exuding cozy sensuality and natural confidence. Gia lying on her back, highlighting her beautiful facial features and short hair – raw, intimate portrait.
    Photo courtesy of Gia

    A body that lived. A body that gave.

    This part of her work is not about seduction. It is about softness. A moment where the body becomes shape light and breath. She does not overperform. She allows the viewer to be still with her.

    Motherhood changed the way she sees herself. She honors the body that carried her daughters and fed them. She sees strength in the places that once caused doubt. Not framed as empowerment but as fact the beautiful truth of a lived body a female artist whose work studies motherhood and form.

    The mirror is another part of her studio. Not for comparison but for recognition. She meets her own reflection the same way she meets a blank canvas. With curiosity instead of critique.

    This is where she becomes her own muse. Not through confidence. Through presence.

    Courage first. Confidence after.

    Georgia lives by one thought.
    She says,

    "First comes courage then comes confidence."

    For her this is not a motto. It is a practice. A way of stepping into the frame before she feels ready. A way of trusting that confidence grows from action not the other way around.

    Her story is a portrait of a contemporary female photographer and painter studying her own form and honoring what she finds. A woman creating art from the same body she is learning to see with clarity. A woman becoming the muse she once searched for.

    To follow her work and see more of her photography connect with her on Instagram @_giababyy

    Arielle As She Really Is

    Bare Model Feature

    A No Makeup Photoshoot That Revealed Something Real

    Discover how stripping away the filters reveals the kind of beauty you have always had. In a time when beauty trends change like weather, Bare Model Arielle Lopez stands steady with a quiet glow that feels timeless. With roots Guatemalan Dominican Italian and German she carries a blend of worlds in her skin and shape. She hopes her presence encourages others to see their own reflection with honesty rather than comparison.

    Backside view of a woman in white lingerie highlighting cellulite, celebrating natural curves.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    From Guatemala to Los Angeles and Into Her Own Skin

    Arielle moved from Guatemala to Los Angeles at six years old. Now 28 she looks back on years of comparing her curvy petite body to ideals that were never made for her. Skinny legs. Flat stomach. Thigh gap. All the measurements she thought defined beauty. Over time she learned that chasing those shapes only blurred her own.

    Black and white photo of a curvy woman with no makeup, all-natural, wearing lace lingerie and a sheer bra outdoors, embracing her body with confidence.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Strength Not Perfection

    (Her Instagram workout video offers a look into her typical training day.)

    Fitness became her turning point. Not a punishment or a chase for thinness but a practice of strength and resilience. Her body 5 foot 1 and 107 pounds with curves and softness began to feel powerful rather than inadequate. She no longer wished for a body that was not hers. She built one she could recognize.

    (Pull-ups in progress… booty looking blessed)

    The No Makeup Bare Shoot

    Her most defining moment came during her OBARE no makeup photoshoot. No foundation. No retouch. Just skin and light. She stood topless raw and unfiltered under the camera and for the first time she saw herself without construction or cover. The image was not made to flatter. It was made to see.

    (Arielle removing her makeup for our no-makeup photoshoot.)

    In that quiet moment her body became a canvas. Curves and stretch marks and soft texture became evidence of a natural woman’s form instead of flaws to conceal.

    Arielle Lopez laying in the grass with no makeup, glowing in white vintage lingerie
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    What She Learned When Nothing Was Hidden

    Going Bare gave her clarity. Her body did not need to be edited or minimized to be beautiful. Confidence was not created. It was uncovered.

    Black and white portrait of a Bare Model posing topless in a garden, photographed by Karlo Gomez, showing natural skin texture, soft light, and an intimate expression framed by leaves.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    “These natural aspects are beautiful testaments to the realness of the female body,” Arielle says.
    Girl sitting in white lingerie showing natural cellulite on thighs, embracing body positivity.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A Message For Woman

    For anyone struggling to love their body, Arielle’s advice is simple but powerful:

    “Embrace your uniqueness, for you were born perfect.”
    Arielle Lopez laughing joyfully outdoors in white vintage lingerie, holding a robe in the sunlight
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Her story is a reminder that identity is not built by trends but by truth. Natural beauty lasts longer than perfection ever will.

    (A little BTS — with Arielle's natural curves stealing the show.)

    Find Arielle on Instagram: @ariellelopezzz

    The Beginning When Her Voice Became Too Loud to Ignore

    The Beginning

    It starts the way it does for so many women. You are young, you are fourteen, and the world suddenly feels too bright and too aware of you. Locker room lighting, swimsuits, and side glances turn every curve into a question and every stretch mark into a spotlight.

    That was Bailey.

    Growing up around music did not mean she felt comfortable in her own skin. Her body felt like a place she had not yet learned to inhabit, and her voice felt like something she needed to monitor. Religious rules and social expectations told her to soften, shrink, and stay quiet. So she did. Not her body, but herself.

    Bailey Rushlow smoking in loungewear with no makeup, natural and unfiltered.
    Photo courtesy of Bailey Rushlow

    A Return to Voice

    Years of Unlearning
    Time has a way of revealing the parts you once hid. Bailey began noticing her curls, her natural skin, her cycle, and the shape she once judged. Nothing changed dramatically. It was a slow and steady return to her own presence.

    Music became her anchor. Not a performance or an escape, but a mirror. A place where she could finally be honest without interruption. This is where finding your voice as a woman began for her. Not loud. Not performative. Just true.

    Bailey Rushlow shows off stretch marks on her thighs, embracing body confidence and self-acceptance
    Photo courtesy of Bailey Rushlow

    A Voice That Became a Mirror

    Close-up of Bailey Rushlow with blue eyes and blonde curly hair, highlighting her natural beauty and radiant skin
    Photo courtesy of Bailey Rushlow

    When she wrote Simply The Best, she did not write it to impress anyone. It was a message to herself, a reminder that the best version of her was not a distant achievement. It was already here. Singing it became a practice of showing up rather than hiding. A way to exist in her own voice instead of shrinking from it.

    What She Wants Other Women to Know

    BBailey’s message is simple and grounded. Your perspective matters more than permission. Your happiness belongs to you. Who you already are is enough. Stop letting the world negotiate your identity.

    She speaks from lived experience. She knows what it feels like to disappear and what it requires to return.

    The Life She Is Building

    Bailey imagines a life shaped by clarity and creativity. She envisions a small cottage, a garden, music filling warm rooms, and a family raised with honesty and presence. It is not a performance. It is a life lived in alignment with who she is.

    Bailey Rushlow sitting in shorts, capturing her toned legs, confident posture, and captivating gaze
    Photo courtesy of Bailey Rushlow

    Discovering OBARE

    In 2019 Bailey found OBARE. Formerly Sunday Morning View. A space where women were photographed without correction, without filters, without perfection. For the first time she saw herself reflected honestly and stepped into that truth completely.

    This is the Bailey that exists now. Present. Grounded. No longer shrinking.

    Bailey Rushlow lying on a bed in white underwear, exuding sensuality and confidence in a soft, natural light setting
    Photo courtesy of Bailey Rushlow

    Her Reflection

    “Who we were as children is who we still are, but often deeply buried under layers of conditioning, trauma, responsibilities, and so much more.”

    Bailey believes the work is not becoming someone new, but returning to the girl you once were and finally letting her speak. She did not simply find her voice. She returned to it one song at a time.

    (Bailey Rushlow reflects on healing and self-discovery. A reminder that finding your voice as a woman rarely begins loud. It begins with listening, with remembering who you were before the world told you what to be. Video adapted from her words on Instagram @baileynrushlow.)

    Find Bailey on Instagram: @baileynrushlow.

    Where softness replaces perfection

    A moment with her body as it truly is — unguarded and real
    Bare Model Feature

    Natural Beauty and the Unretouched Female Body

    At twenty three Alejandra stands in a soft spill of window light. A woman shaped by Dutch and Mexican heritage and now shaped by her own gaze. For years she learned to see her body through other peoples eyes. Today she sees it through her own and the shift feels unmistakably hers.

    Her Form Unfiltered in Natural Light

    In person Alejandra carries a quiet grounded presence. There is stillness in her shoulders a natural softness along her curves and a deliberate way of moving that feels intimate rather than performative. Nothing about her asks for permission. She simply exists exactly as she is.

    Black and white portrait of Alejandra standing confidently, showcasing her natural curves and beautiful hips
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Struggling with Beauty Standards and Comparison

    Alejandra candidly recalls feeling objectified and pressured to conform to societys narrow definition of beauty. For years she tied her self worth to physical appearance longing to fit a specific mold for acceptance. Over time she realized that true confidence cannot come from external validation. It rises instead from an inner knowing of self.

    Shifting Perspective Into Self Recognition

    The turning point came when Alejandra realized that no compliment or attention could fill the void inside. Seeing herself through others expectations had diminished her value as a strong woman. By celebrating her God given curves and recognizing her beauty at every stage she unlocked a deeper sense of worth.

    Back view of Alejandra highlighting her curvy figure in a thong, celebrating body confidence and feminine form
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    (BTS of Alejandra, owning her curves with a playful jiggle.)

    Embracing Her Body In Its Natural Form

    In a raw unfiltered photoshoot with OBARE Alejandra went Bare without makeup. Capturing her as she is challenged the notion that women must be made up to be seen. Her presence says clearly that natural beauty and unretouched skin hold a quiet power of their own.

    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Nude Photography as Recognition Rather Than Display

    Alejandra explored nude portraiture as an act of respect toward her own body. Not for objectification but as documentation of form shape and lived experience. Through this intimate session she embraced her curves softness and emotional release.

    Artistic black and white nude portrait of a woman highlighting her natural curves and bare back.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A Message for Women Learning to See Themselves Clearly

    To women who feel at war with their reflection Alejandra speaks gently. Beauty standards shift like weather. The body is not a trend to chase. It is a place we inhabit and carry life through.

    Artistic nude of Alejandra’s back with a flower covering her chest, emphasizing softness, strength, and body empowerment
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    (More BTS, with Alejandra laughing out loud as Karlo tries to keep up with her fun energy.)

    Reframing Fitness for Health Not Aesthetic

    She shares how the gym once deepened her body dysmorphia. Over time she let go of sculpting herself into an ideal and chose strength mental peace and consistency. She treats movement as nourishment not correction.

    Looking Forward

    Alejandra hopes to inspire women to return to themselves. To see the natural female body as whole complete and worthy without alteration. Beauty is not performance. It is presence.

    "May we all embrace our unique beauty recognizing it as a force capable of changing the world one woman at a time."

    Find Alejandra on Instagram: @divinely.ale

    The Beauty of Being Seen A Photo Essay on Curves and Stretch Marks

    Black and white photography of a Black woman putting on blue jeans, highlighting her natural body shape.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Black and white photo of a Black woman playing for her jeans, showcasing her natural beauty and confidence.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Black and white photo of a Black woman taking time off to embrace and show her natural curves confidently.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Black and white image of a Black woman with blue jeans almost off, revealing stretch marks and cellulite on her thighs.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Black and white photo focusing on the backside and curves of a Black woman, showing cellulite and stretch marks proudly.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Black and white portrait of a Black woman standing with braids, exposing her stretch marks and cellulite as a celebration of real beauty.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Alexandra Renee

    A Weight Gain Transformation In Real Time
    Bare Model Feature

    She trained like an athlete yet still felt as if she was losing until something shifted.
    During our trip to Phoenix Arizona we photographed Bare Model Alexandra Renee in warm light and open space.

    ("Me and Alexandra laughing as we tried to recreate a previous pose... nothing but fun! These black-and-white images we created are truly timeless." — Karlo Gomez, Photographer)

    Her body, her skin, her presence reflected a woman who no longer hid behind makeup or filters. She stood bare and unpolished, a body shaped by time discipline and change. Her arrival at this point was not effortless.

    Woman in grey underwear sitting curled on a white bed turning toward the camera
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Alexandra Renee’s Weight Gain Transformation

    “Most of my life I was thinner because of soccer but in the last two years I gained over 25 pounds” Alexandra shared.
    “At first I hated it. Eventually I started to see myself differently. I later dropped the 25 pounds and where I am now feels right. This is a body I choose to maintain rather than criticize.”

    Her transformation was not sudden. It looked like repetition, long weeks at the gym, meals that supported her training, and a slow return to strength. It was the kind of change you notice when jeans feel different and photographs start telling the truth. A body lived in not controlled.

    Woman with long wavy hair posing in burgundy lingerie against a concrete wall in natural light
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Stretch Marks Became Proof Instead of Flaws

    High school made her hyper aware of every mark on her skin. Stretch marks felt loud and unforgiving and she wanted them gone. That perception shifted with time.

    “I used to hate them. High school was rough. Now I look at them and think this is actually a beautiful feature. They show where I have been.”

    ‘Damn, this is such a pretty feature to have.’ They show my progress, my growth, my story.”
    Close up of a woman’s hip showing natural stretch marks in soft light wearing lace underwear
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Bare Skin, No Makeup, Nothing Hidden

    Shooting without makeup felt familiar for her.


    “I rarely wear makeup so photographing with nothing on my face felt good and natural.”
    Color portrait of woman with sensual expression, embracing stretch marks
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Even posing partially nude turned into a quiet breakthrough.

    Artistic black and white portrait of a woman standing in underwear, covering her breasts while embracing her natural curves, hip dips, thighs, and stretch marks.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    “At first I was nervous but the longer I stood there the more natural it felt. My body looked like itself. It made sense.”

    Comfort arrived through repetition the same way muscle grows.

    Artistic color portrait of a Latina woman standing topless from the back, showcasing her natural curves, butt, and stretch marks with strength and beauty.”
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Strength Is Something You Feel, Not Something You Look Like

    Her relationship with the gym holds both tension and relief.
    “Sometimes I felt like I did not belong because my body did not look like everyone else. But when I lift I feel strong. When I hit a new PR I feel capable.”

    Progress became the weight she could move, her grip during deadlifts, the way her legs shook on the last rep of squat sets.
    Strength lived in sensation rather than reflection.

    Latina woman with natural curves, hip dips, and stretch marks, no makeup, wearing undergarments and confidently loving her body.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Where She Is Heading Next

    Alexandra continues to build herself through training, discipline and presence. “I want to keep transforming my body and pushing limits. Through personal training and Instagram, I hope to inspire others and maybe become someone people look up to. ”She shares workouts online as record rather than performance. It is a woman documenting her body as it changes in real time.

    (Leg day with Alexandra: strong quads, sore hammies, and the eternal struggle of putting on pants the next day)

    Confident woman in lingerie, striking dominant pose, celebrating her body
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Find Alexandra on Instagram @alexandra_renee17

    Willow Johnson Nothing added nothing hidden

    Bare Model Feature

    A no makeup Willow photoshoot that felt easy and real

    No makeup. No filters. Just Willow a Bare Model at OBARE. Tall athletic calm in her body. The kind of woman you notice without effort. She walked in and felt familiar almost instantly like someone you could laugh with or sit beside while talking about life for hours.

    ("During my session with Willow, she showed off her radiant personality and natural beauty while celebrating her hard-earned body. Proof that confidence is the best filter.” — Karlo Gomez, Photographer)
    “I used to hate my rolls when I sat down or how my side profile looked” she told us.“Now they just feel like part of me.”
    Willow Johnson sitting on bed in white tank top and underwear, no makeup, natural beauty in color photo
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Most women know that feeling. That tiny thing you stare at in the mirror that no one else even notices. She did not dramatize it. She talked about it casually like something she finally stopped fighting.

    She trains she moves she lives in her body. It changes it softens it holds the record of effort. She does not try to erase any of it. Even with strength and tone cellulite stays and she does not treat it like a flaw.

    “I can be fit and still have cellulite. It is normal.”
    Bare Model Willow Johnson embracing her natural body with cellulite, long legs, and unfiltered beauty.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Height is part of her beauty now

    There was a time she wished she could take up less space. Now she stands tall shoulders open with presence that feels effortless. You look at her now and wonder how she ever wanted to be smaller.

    Black and white photo of Willow Johnson’s back, showing tattoo, natural curves, and cellulite with no makeup
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A no makeup Willow photoshoot in soft light

    Bare face fresh skin nothing covered. No foundation no concealer. Just skin and light. Pores texture tone. The tiny details that filters erase were the same things that made her interesting to look at. When the shoot shifted into more revealing images she stayed with it. A little nervous but still there. Still herself.

    “I was nervous at first” she said
    “but the photos surprised me. They felt beautiful.”

    Not perfect True.

    Close-up portrait of Willow Johnson with bare face, no makeup, highlighting natural lips and nose
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Why she belongs with OBARE

    Willow does not hide the parts women are told to fix or smooth or reduce.
    She lets them be visible. Soft natural normal. That is why this no makeup Willow photoshoot matters. It is not about confidence speeches or lessons. It simply shows a woman in her own skin without decoration.

    Willow Johnson standing partially nude with flowers, showing tattoos, cellulite, and side rolls, no makeup, body-positive portrait
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    “I was nervous about how my body would look or if the shots would turn out good—but I was shocked and so happy with how beautiful they came out.”

    Her message to women is clear:

    “There is only one you in the whole world. Take the differences you have from everyone else and embrace them. You are beautiful, and the ‘flaws’ on your body are beautiful. I hope young women see my photos on OBARE and feel inspired to love their own natural body.”
    Willow Johnson sitting on bed in white tank top and underwear, black and white image, no makeup, authentic beauty
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    This is Willow a Bare Model with real skin long lines soft strength and nothing forced.

    Find Willow on Instagram @Willowj4.

    Apples In the Body She Built The Slow Steady Way

    Bare Model Feature

    You know when you meet someone and you can just tell they are grounded inside. That is Apples. She did not build her body in a month and she did not rush a transformation. She built it slow. She built it steady. The kind of strength that lasts because it was earned over time through consistent training and a daily routine that became part of her life.

    Color portrait of a woman with no makeup wearing a long tee, embracing her natural beauty and relaxed style.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    The body she built through slow strength work

    When she steps into natural light you see everything real about her. The soft texture of her skin. The muscle she put on month by month. Lines along her legs. Fullness in her glutes. Her back defined but still feminine. This is not quick change fitness. This is long term training that shapes the body slowly like clay. Years of showing up. Small progress stacking until one day she looked in the mirror and there she was.

    She trains the way some people breathe. It feels natural to her now.

    “Discipline feels better than motivation”

    she said. And she is right. Motivation disappears the second life gets hard. Discipline stays.

    A woman adjusting her lace underwear, showing toned legs, visible stretch marks, and defined abs in soft natural light inside a minimal room.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A Bare Model in natural form

    During her Bare Model shoot she did not pose or try to look like anything. She stood there as herself. Real skin. Real muscle. No filters. No angles chasing perfection. The reason the images hit is because she is exactly who she is in front of the camera. A body built through time and strength training instead of quick results.

    A smiling woman sitting in warm sunlight wearing a cozy sweater and underwear, legs highlighted by natural shadows and soft golden light.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    “I train because it makes me feel grounded”

    she told us. And you can feel that when you are around her.

    Glute growth and body development through routine

    Her progress came from quiet repetition. Strength workouts done on the days she felt good and on the days she did not. That is the part most people never see. The heavy lifts when no one is watching. The slow glute training that builds shape over months. The muscle that forms when you do not quit after two weeks.

    Her glutes her legs her back her full silhouette did not appear overnight. Resistance training. Time under tension. Rest. Food. Consistency.

    Fitness model Apples standing on stairs in a sweater and underwear in black and white
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    “Curves do not come from luck” she said. “They come from patience.”

    Slow progress strength that stays

    Apples carries a quiet confidence. The kind of confidence that grows when you build your body slowly and know you earned every inch of muscle. You feel it when you see her move. You feel it when she speaks. Strong inside. Strong outside. Steady.

    Color image of a woman in jeans and a sweater, no makeup, celebrating her natural beauty while enjoying fitness and movement.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Apples story reminds you that real progress is slow steady and lasting. The long game always wins. She built her body through consistency and dedication one painful but enjoyable workout at a time and she will keep growing the same way. No rush. No shortcuts. Just a woman in motion.

    Color photo of a woman in jeans and a sweater, no makeup, embracing her natural beauty and curves while enjoying fitness and movement, highlighting her butt.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Find Apple's on Instagram @apoloniacalleja.

    Gibson: The Journey to Loving Her Natural Self

    Uncover how celebrating your real self can shift your mindset and make you unstoppable. When we first connected with Gibson back in July 2020 for a FaceTime photoshoot, the world was still learning to adapt to new ways of connecting. Even through a virtual lens, Gibson’s radiant natural beauty shone brightly. Her authenticity left us eager for the day we could capture her in person.

    Fast forward to today—Gibson is now in Los Angeles, where we recently had the honor of photographing her, celebrating her natural beauty, soft curves, and undeniable confidence. As a Bare Model, Gibson embodies the spirit of OBARE—embracing her body exactly as it is: her naturally gifted curves, her cellulite she proudly celebrates, and her freckles that add to her beauty.

    Color photo of a woman in underwear at a resort, no makeup, confidently celebrating her curves and thick thighs.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty
    “It’s just part of who I am,” Gibson says with a smile. “I’ve learned to love every inch of my body.”
    Color photo of a woman in underwear, no makeup, laughing with joy while celebrating her curves and thick thighs.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Embracing Your Natural Beauty

    Q: How do you feel about your curves and cellulite?
    “I’ve learned to love every inch of my body. Curves, cellulite, and all—it’s part of what makes me unique. Being a Bare Model helped me embrace my natural shape and feel confident in front of the camera.”

    Black and white photo of a woman in underwear with a sweater, no makeup, showing her stretch marks and big butt while moving her hair.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Q: Freckles are part of your signature look. How do you feel about them?

    “My freckles are part of what makes me unique. They remind me that beauty isn’t about perfection—it’s about embracing what makes you different.”

    Black and white close-up portrait of a woman’s bare natural beauty with no makeup, revealing freckles.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Q: How has being photographed changed your perspective on self-love?
    “Being photographed unfiltered, without makeup, helped me realize that confidence comes from self-acceptance. It’s about loving the skin you’re in—not changing yourself to fit someone else’s idea of beauty.”

    Gibson's mindset now fuels her unapologetic approach to her curves, her cellulite, and all the features that make her feel like the best version of herself.

    Gibson's Advice for Women

    Gibson “Don’t try to hide what makes you unique. Celebrate it. Whether it’s cellulite, freckles, or curves, loving yourself as you are is the first step to true confidence.”
    Color photo of a woman standing in black underwear with an oversized boyfriend collar shirt, no makeup, showing her fit stomach and thick legs.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Why Gibson Inspires Us


    Gibson’s story is one of transformation. Her journey from uncertainty to radical self-love is inspiring. The media over celebrates artificial beauty, but women like Gibson inspire us to love our own natural beauty—without filters, without shame, and without hesitation. She reminds us that beauty isn’t about perfection—it’s about authenticity.

    Find Gibson on Instagram @itsgibsonross.

    A Study in Real Skin — Part I

    Bare Model Feature

    Bare Model Bianca natural skin texture stretch marks in light

    Shooting Bianca going bare was a moment I will not forget. I remember the first moment I saw her stretch marks. I had never seen anything like them.

    Woman with natural stretch marks sitting in soft light, showing unedited real skin and curves.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Natural skin texture in motion

    The way they wrapped around her curves and caught the light stayed with me. Her skin tone looked like charred honey sprinkled with dandelion, warm and glowing in a way that didn’t even feel real. There was something powerful about her without her trying to be.

    Close-up portrait of a woman sitting nude with visible stretch marks.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A portrait study of stretch marks and curve

    Just the way she placed her hand along the angle of her thigh while she shifted said everything. In that moment she was in motion and I watched the way her body formed itself without effort. It is in those natural flowing moments when you see a shape she herself has never seen. Those are the shots that create authentic art.

    Color photo of a woman in a G-string with authentic stretch marks, raw and natural artistic portrait.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Her stare quietly intense and bold

    The image below holds the intensity only a woman can give you through her eyes. The arch of her foot guides your gaze along her body and the frame feels graceful with a touch of Latin spice.

    Color photo of a woman with no makeup, in underwear with no bra, confidently covering her breast while showing stretch marks, sitting on a yellow chair.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Lines like script along the chest

    Later I had her stand by a concrete wall. She simply stood there and I was drawn to every line from her hips to her torso. It was beautiful to me, something I could not look away from.

    Black and white close-up photo of a woman’s butt in underwear with visible stretch marks.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    In a lifetime it is rare to see lines this striking across a woman’s chest. They felt like a tattoo carved by God, symbols of growth climbing upward, the flowers beside them reading like part of the same story.

    Black and white close-up photo of a woman’s breast with stretch marks, no bra, covered with flowers.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    What the lens saw a study of real skin

    These images reflect what my lens the O saw that day.

    Woman with natural stretch marks adjusting her shorts in soft indoor light, showing real skin and texture.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    She was bare and that made her powerful without speaking. The silence the emotion and the depth in her skin is what carried everything.

    Black and white photo of a woman in a bathroom, no makeup, covering her breast with one hand and showing her butt in shorts with visible stretch marks.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez
    Read Part II →

    Bare Model Ryley Gordon and the Return to Herself

    Bare Model Feature

    A woman returning to her face without makeup. Ryley Gordon’s journey is not reinvention. It is a slow return to herself and a remembering of what beauty feels like when it is allowed to breathe. It begins with something tender, removing her makeup for our shoot and letting her face exist naturally.

    Black and white beauty portrait of a white girl with no makeup, showcasing natural skin and authentic expression.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    The Fashion World Shaped Her, Then Stripped Her Down  

    She spent years inside the commercial modeling world where agencies told her she was too short, needed to lose weight, or that she did not fit the mold. Trying to become what others wanted left her self conscious and unsure of her value. Her story continued long after that chapter closed and she realized there was another way to exist in her body without shrinking herself to meet it.

    Color photograph of a white blonde woman in white underwear, no makeup, embracing her curves while holding white flowers in a bright kitchen.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    California Sun Paints the Woman She Became

    Ryley grew up surrounded by ocean air, plant based food, paint, and art. She has always studied the human form, how it curves, how it moves, how it says things without speaking. Surfing, hiking, yoga, and dance grounded her and slowly she shifted from caring how her body looked to caring how her body felt.

    Woman lying on a studio floor beside paint supplies with a nude body painting propped behind her.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    A Voice That Reminds Her to Be Gentle With Herself

    “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are doing great.”
    Woman standing in white underwear with one arm raised, holding soft white flowers blurred in the foreground.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Through daily affirmations she reminds herself she is allowed to change and allowed to soften.
    I am beautiful.
    My body is meant to change.
    My confidence shines through stronger than my dress size.

    Black and white photo of a natural beauty girl with no makeup gazing at her reflection, highlighting self-love and authenticity.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    She Knows She Is Not Alone in This Experience

    Ryley knows many women feel the weight of social media edits, diet culture, plastic surgery ads, and anti aging marketing. It teaches women to believe they are not enough. She believes honesty and vulnerability are the counter narrative and when shown without filters it creates space for others to breathe in their own skin.

    Color photograph of a white woman standing tall in a black bra top and beige underwear, no makeup, embracing her natural body.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    “Most of what you see online is curated. Even fitness influencers show only their best angles. Remember that we all change, we all evolve, and we all experience highs and lows. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re doing great.”

    Black and white image of a white woman with no makeup lovingly touching her art painting, showing her natural body in underwear.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    The Chapter She Chooses Now

    Today Ryley chooses softness. She chooses her face without makeup and her body without apology. She is learning to live inside herself without asking for permission and she hopes her truth reminds other women they are more than numbers, more than filters, more than expectation.

    Color photo of a white woman sitting beside her art painting in underwear and top, no makeup, embracing her body and natural beauty.
    Photographed by Karlo Gomez

    Find Ryley on Instagram @ryleygordon

    Dominique Muscianese on Confidence and Going Bare

    Artistic photographer and Bare Model Dominique Muscianese is a woman who lives fully in her creative world. Whether she is exploring new places, spending time with her dog, or shooting portraits for her photography page @DOMONIZIAPhoto, she is drawn to moments that feel honest, and beautifully unfiltered.

    Her journey in front of the camera did not begin with certainty. Like countless women raised on impossible beauty standards, Dominique once struggled with comparison. Before modeling professionally, she questioned whether she had the right look, measuring herself against supermodels who seemed to define beauty for an entire generation.

    Black and white photo of melanin fashion model with no makeup, all natural in lingerie, lying on the floor.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Everything shifted when she moved to Los Angeles and began experimenting with artistic shoots. Instead of chasing perfection, she let herself be seen. That single decision changed everything. Dominique began to recognize her own appeal, the angles curves and expressions that made her distinctive. She embraced her individuality as a statement of her own rather than an imitation of someone else.

    Her evolution is one many women relate to. Stepping out of self doubt. Learning to occupy space with confidence. Allowing the body to be seen as it is.

    From Hesitation to Confidence

    Dominique believes confidence is built through practice and presence. Her approach is simple. Acknowledge your strengths even on days when they feel distant. Treat yourself with respect. Remain close to people who sharpen your energy rather than take from it.

    Her perspective is rooted in a truth she carries proudly. A woman’s body is the closest thing there is to magic.

    Q and A with Dominique Muscianese

    What do you love most about your body

    “I love my curves my skin tone my eyes and my lips.”
    Black and white photo of tall melanin fashion model standing, holding her butt, no makeup, natural curves and beauty.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    What makes you feel confident

    “I enjoy taking photos of myself and learning my shape. Discovering angles that highlight who I am helps me appreciate myself. Many women dislike how they look because they have only seen their bodies through awkward or unflattering angles. When you learn your curves everything changes.”

    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. Unfiltered beauty

    Any rituals that help you feel grounded

    “Give yourself a compliment even on days when confidence feels far away. Take a shower. Get ready. Present yourself to the day. It shifts everything. Stay close to people who hype you up.”

    Black and white portrait of tall melanin fashion model with no makeup, all natural, laughing and loving her body.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    What message would you share with women who struggle to appreciate their bodies

    “There is no shortcut. Loving yourself means choosing yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful during both highs and lows.”

    What are you building next

    “MODXDOM. A posing service I created to teach people how to appreciate their bodies and move with confidence. It is a community built on empowerment. Come join us.”

    Dominique reminds us that confidence is not a performance. It is a quiet agreement you make with yourself. A decision to let your body be seen without apology. A willingness to stand in your own light even on the days it feels faint.

    Her story is a reflection of what OBARE stands for. Real bodies. Real presence. Real women choosing to be visible in their own way.

    Find Dominique on Instagram @dominique_muscianese

    A Bare Model’s Journey of Self-Love Empowerment

    From an early age, she struggled with body image — constantly seeking validation that she was beautiful and worthy. As a mixed-race woman, athlete, mother, and model, she faced challenges unique to her journey. She was bullied and shamed for her skin tone, athletic build, racial ambiguity, and even her maternal status. Even within her own family, she endured judgment over the way she dressed and wore her hair. Acceptance, she realized, had always been something she longed for.

    (BTS of capturing magic  — vitiligo as art, and Bailey's beautiful curves as poetry.)
    Bailey with vitiligo in a baby blue one-piece bathing suit, posing outdoors with natural curves, short hair, and no makeup, celebrating body positivity and self-love.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Finding Strength Through Others

    Everything shifted when she began connecting with and uplifting other women.

    “Hearing myself lift others up changed me,”

    she shares. “It reframed my inner dialogue and helped me embrace my own body fully.” Participating in artistic shoots as a Bare Model became a powerful practice — an opportunity to honor her body, and her story.

    Black and white photo of Bailey with vitiligo showing her stretch marks in underwear, embracing her natural curves, body confidence, and fitness-inspired beauty.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. Unfiltered beauty

    Learning to Love Her Body

    “I love how strong my body is and the constant flow of energy I feel moving through it,”

    she says. “I love how grounded I feel in my own skin and how my body has served me through thick and thin. Physically, I love my spots — my skin is an ever-changing work of art I get to explore every few months.”

    The Meaning of Self-Love


    For her, self-love is both a mindset and a practice. “Self-love means embracing every part of myself while honoring the things I love about my body. More importantly, it’s not allowing others to make me feel guilty for the things I don’t like as much. It’s about unfollowing trends that don’t serve me and doing what makes me feel the best.”

    Her work as a Bare Model has reinforced this belief — that the human body, in its most natural form, is a masterpiece worth celebrating.

    Artistic black and white portrait of Bailey with vitiligo, implied nude holding a Polaroid camera, wearing white underwear, natural skin with stretch marks and no makeup.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Advice for Women Struggling with Body Acceptance

    “It’s okay to struggle — it’s perfectly normal, and you are not alone. Struggling is part of the process; it’s your body and mind telling you that you are ready for change.” She continues, “I can’t tell you exactly what to do — that’s for you to discover — but I promise that when you intentionally seek ways to love yourself, those small steps add up to big shifts. If you fight through your difficulty, you WILL reach the other side. Queen, it’s amazing here. I wish nothing but to meet you in this place of liberation — from others’ opinions and even your own harsh judgment.”

    Black and white portrait of Bailey with vitiligo, short hair, and no makeup, highlighting her natural beauty, confidence, and self-acceptance.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Tips for the Journey:

    • Find what works for you
    • Take one intentional step at a time
    • Be patient and give yourself grace
    • Expect challenges
    • Listen to your body
    • Don’t fear lessons from failure

    For those of you wondering, Bailey’s skin condition is called vitiligo — a condition where the skin loses its pigment cells, often resulting in white patches. Vitiligo can develop due to genetic factors, autoimmune responses, or sometimes as a result of skin trauma, and it can affect anyone regardless of age, gender, or skin type.

    Find Bailey on Instagram: @TheQweenBayOfficial.

    Asia McKinney: On Confidence, Curves, and Growing Into Her Own Skin

    Asia McKinney moves through the world with an ease she had to earn. In middle school she felt out of place among smaller classmates, unsure where her own curves belonged. Now in her early twenties she carries herself with a quiet confidence that speaks louder than any performance. When Asia walked into our studio as a Bare Model that confidence felt anchored, lived in, shaped by real experience rather than trend.

    Growing up taught her something different. Her body was never the problem. The problem was the lens she was taught to look through.
    Now in her twenties, Asia moves with a grounded presence, a softness that does not apologize, and a confidence that rises quietly from within.

    Artistic portrait of a Black woman holding her chest, natural beauty with curves, thick thighs, and visible cellulite, celebrating body confidence.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. Unfiltered beauty

    Learning To See Herself Clearly

    Middle school was the first place Asia learned how sharply people compare themselves. She remembers looking around and feeling different, bigger, too noticeable. Her thighs and hips made her want to hide, and every glance in the mirror deepened the habit of questioning her own reflection.

    What changed everything was her mother. Her voice was steady, patient, and certain. She reminded Asia that the features she wanted to hide were the very things that made her beautiful. That message stayed with her.

    Natural artistic shot of a Black woman from behind, highlighting her curves, hips, and thick thighs, embracing body positivity.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Owning Her Presence

    As she got older, something shifted. Asia began to notice other women admiring the curves she once tried to hide. It made her pause and see herself through a new perspective.

    “I can walk outside without makeup and feel like I am that girl,”

    she says.
    Not from ego, but from a calm certainty that no longer depends on validation.

    Her confidence is not loud or forced. It is earned. And it shows in the way she stands, the way she speaks, and the way she carries her body with ease.

    Black and white artistic portrait of a Black woman sitting, holding her chest, showing natural beauty with thick thighs, cellulite, and no makeup.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Rituals That Keep Her Grounded

    Asia supports her confidence through simple rituals. She practices yoga, schedules facials, takes long warm baths with essential oils, and uses journaling to stay connected to her thoughts. These habits are not for show. They are small ways she stays centered and steady.

    The Moments She Still Questions Herself

    Even with her growth, Asia is not immune to doubt. She faces those moments with patience and a willingness to see herself with the same compassion she offers others.

    When she looks at the softness in her arms or the dimples on her thighs, she does not flinch. “It is okay to show it,” she says. “This is who I am.”

    Black and white artistic photo of a Black woman laying on the floor in underwear, showcasing her back, curves, and natural body with cellulite.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. Unfiltered beauty

    Her Favorite Feature The Thighs That Once Made Her Hide

    If there is one part of her body Asia loves without hesitation, it is her thighs.
    The same thighs that made her feel out of place at thirteen are now the ones she celebrates.

    She laughs about the summer thigh rub, the strength they give her in yoga, and the curves that make her feel powerful.


    “Who needs a thigh gap when your thighs can crush watermelons,”

    she jokes.

    When she sees photos of her curves now, she feels strong, beautiful, and fully in her body.


    “It reminds me that my body is art,”

    she says.

    Black and white artistic photo of a Black woman standing in a one-piece swimsuit, natural beauty with thick thighs, body hair and ingrown hair visible, celebrating self-love and confidence.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE — Going Bare. Unfiltered beauty

    A Message For Anyone Still Growing Into Confidence

    Asia’s story is not about perfection. It is about permission.
    Permission to show your body as it is.
    Permission to move toward what makes you feel good.
    Permission to let go of rules that were never made for you.

    Her hope is simple.
    That more women stop shrinking themselves.

    Because confidence does not arrive all at once.
    It builds. It breathes. It grows.

    Find Asia on Instagram

    @asiaa.rose

    The Girl and the Ghost of Her Childhood

    Old black and white photograph of a young girl holding a flower, representing childhood innocence, early emotional memory, and the story of healing after trauma.
    Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

    Dear Me

    There are pieces of us that still breathe inside the shadows of our childhood. The girl who learned to brace for impact. The girl who tried to earn love like it was a reward for perfect behavior. The girl who carried the weight of a home shaped by violence, silence, and the kind of unspoken generational trauma that lingers even when you grow older.

    You survived a childhood built on fear and expectations. A childhood where innocence had no room to grow. You learned early that love could be loud and unpredictable and often painful. You learned to read the room before you could read a book. You learned to make yourself small so others could feel big. This is the story of a child who became a woman shaped by memory, anxiety, and the long slow work of inner child healing.

    You were never the problem. You were a child in a storm you did not create.

    For years you tried to outrun what happened. You tried to be the girl who pleased everyone.

    Vintage handwritten letters and faded family photographs scattered on a table, symbolizing childhood memory, generational trauma, and the process of inner child healing.
    Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

    You poured your heart into the wrong people hoping they would fill the emptiness that your family never could. You confused attention with love. You mistook chaos for passion. You pulled away from the ones who were gentle because gentleness felt unfamiliar. You were afraid of being truly seen, unsure how to receive safety when you had only known survival.

    PTSD, anxiety, bulimia, and depression moved in quietly. They became roommates you never invited but somehow learned to tolerate. The pain lived under your skin, whispering stories that were never yours to carry. This was not weakness. It was a response to childhood trauma that never had space to be spoken. Yet you kept going even when you felt like disappearing. You held on through every moment you thought you would break.

    My dear younger self, you did your best with what you knew. You protected me with the only tools you had. You built walls when you needed shelter. You pushed people away when you feared losing them. You kept me alive through every season where healing felt impossible.

    Thank you for that. But now it is my turn to take the lead. I am ready to choose a life that does not revolve around old wounds. I am ready to let go of beliefs that convinced us we were unworthy. I am ready to rewrite the story and step into emotional healing with a softer voice. I am ready to heal the present and the future with the love you never received. This is where recovery begins and where the woman I became steps forward for both of us.

    You can rest now. You no longer have to carry the burden alone. I promise to build a life that honors you. A life where peace is not a stranger. A life where love is not earned through suffering. A life where memories are gentle and safe and full of color. A life where the inner child is not hidden but held. You were always enough. You are still enough. You will always be enough.

    With love
    The woman you grew into

    You’re Not Alone: Why Video Calls Make You Anxious

    Living With Video Call Anxiety Through the Lens of Self-Perception
    Woman on Zoom call leaning over laptop, eyes focused and thoughtful, experiencing quiet digital anxiety during a video meeting.
    Photo by Nina Hill

    The Mirror on the Screen

    It has been a year into the pandemic and while many people talk about Zoom fatigue like it is a shared joke, there are others like me who feel something sharper beneath the surface. When the camera switches on, there is not just a meeting. There is a mirror. My face in real time. Every angle. Every movement. My attention splits between participating and watching myself participate, a loop that feeds quiet self-criticism and video call anxiety.

    In meetings I catch myself critiquing more than listening, noticing details no one else likely sees. A strand of hair. The curve of my mouth. A shadow beneath my eyes. Coworkers look composed and effortless. I wonder if I appear the same, or if I am simply the only one who notices.

    When Gallery View Feels Like Being Watched

    There is something unsettling about being seen and watching myself simultaneously. The gallery fills with faces and suddenly it feels like a room of mirrors. I speak while monitoring my expression, unsure whether silence means uncertainty or nothing at all. A moment stretches longer than it should. Doubt fills the gap.

    Even when alone, I still feel watched.

    “Video calls are strange mirrors. We hear ourselves speak, but we also watch ourselves exist.”

    Small Changes That Make Space to Breathe

    I minimize self-view. Some days I use audio only. I schedule breaks so I remember I am more than posture and pixels. I shift attention away from how I look and toward the words being spoken.

    Grace arrives slowly. Anxiety does not disappear, but it softens. I speak without rehearsing. I show up without shrinking. I exist without constantly watching myself exist.

    Learning to Be Seen Without Flinching

    Video calls reflect versions of ourselves we do not always recognize. They hold us still long enough to study our face, our pauses, our discomfort. But we are not alone in this feeling. Many of us are still learning how to look at ourselves without bracing for impact, to be seen without shrinking.

    Some of us are still learning not to flinch when we meet our own gaze.

    What Happens

    When You Stop Fighting Fear and Start Listening to It

    Fear shows up before anything else. We enter the world trembling, startled by noise and light, leaving behind the quiet darkness we once knew. That first moment of uncertainty becomes our earliest lesson in fear, and it stays close, a companion we spend our lives trying to understand.

    Fear can be intense. Fear can be confusing. Fear can be protective. Fear can also be a mirror.

    Despite what we are taught, fear is not the villain. Fear is the first truth teller we ever meet.

    Fear Arrives When You Step Into Something New

    Fear appears in the smallest decisions and the biggest ones. It meets you at the doorway of every change. It rises when you consider a risk or even when you place an order at a coffee shop. Fear takes ordinary moments and gives them weight. It widens the imagination, sometimes beautifully and sometimes wildly. It blends possibility with fiction and makes it difficult to see where truth ends and story begins.

    Its presence is meaningful. It often signals movement toward something that matters.

    For SEO: fear is often the first signal of growth, a whisper that something new is unfolding inside you.

    Fear Protects You, Even When It Overreacts

    Fear keeps you safe. It pulls you back from an edge. It sharpens your senses at night. It pushes you to pay attention. But it can also grow too loud. It can create tension where there is none. It can make you flinch at your own shadow.

    During the global shutdown, fear motivated people to stay inside and protect one another. That moment revealed something important. Fear can create care. It can make us act with awareness. Fear is not always here to harm. Sometimes it arrives to remind you of your responsibility to yourself and the world around you.

    Fear Tries to Keep You Away From Failure

    Fear behaves like an overprotective parent with good intentions and terrible precision. It wants to pull you away from failure, embarrassment, or rejection. But failure is part of growth, and clarity often comes after mistakes.

    Fear tries to shelter you from the experiences that shape you, yet what fear protects you from is often the very thing that would strengthen you.

    Fear Creates a Veil Over Reality

    Fear blurs your vision. It overlays simple moments with imagined futures and makes life appear more complicated than it is. When the veil lifts, the truth is often surprisingly gentle. A single task. One next step. A clear moment. Nothing more. You do not need to remove fear to move forward. You only need to see what belongs to the moment and what belongs to fear’s imagination.

    Fear Held Me Back for Twenty Six Years

    Fear silenced my passion for writing for more than two decades. It convinced me that speaking my truth was dangerous. It told me my voice was not enough. So I hid. I changed paths. I looked everywhere except inward for validation.

    Years passed. Fear kept its grip. Eventually life became heavy enough to open my eyes. I started to see the cost of staying small. Those years became lessons. They shaped me. They built resilience. They revealed that fear had been trying to protect me even as it restrained me. Today I no longer run from those lessons. I move with them.

    Fear Does Not Need to Disappear. It Needs Recognition

    Fear wants acknowledgment. It wants to know you are paying attention. The goal is not to eliminate fear. The goal is to understand it.

    You can tell fear:

    I hear you.
    I see you.
    I am moving forward.

    Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the willingness to continue while fear walks beside you. When you begin to see fear as information, as insight, something shifts.

    You become clear.
    You become steady.
    You become ready for whatever comes next.

    What Cellulite Really Says About Your Body

    Cellulite is not a flaw. It is a natural part of the body and almost every woman has it. Many of us were taught to fear it, hide it, or feel ashamed of it. We asked Bella, a woman who speaks honestly about real skin, to share her experience and what helped her stop apologizing for the way her body looks. Her perspective offers a reminder that softness, dimples, and texture do not require correction. They exist as part of being human.

    Plus-size woman in teal bra and underwear embracing her body while being supported by her boyfriend
    Photo courtesy of Bella Davis

    Q and A with Bella: Cellulite, Real Skin, and The Body

    How did society shape the way you saw your body?

    I used to hide my cellulite. I used to want it gone. I tried every cream and every lotion. I walked down beaches with a towel around my legs. I worked out to exhaustion hoping it would disappear. I cried when I saw my reflection. I let the world convince me that something natural made me flawed. I believed I was ugly. I believed I was wrong.

    How do you feel about cellulite now?

    I no longer angle or twist my body to control how it shows. I always have cellulite and I cannot hide it even if I tried. It is part of who I am. It is part of who most of us are. This is my reality. This is normal. When I look at my cellulite now, I see what it truly is. Beauty. Softness. Texture. Strength.

    What would you tell women who struggle with cellulite?

    You never need to feel ashamed of your cellulite. It does not depend on weight, size, or shape. Nearly every woman experiences it. It is normal. It is not a flaw. It never was. This is my body. It is not broken. It is simply a body. Skin does not require smoothing. Skin is meant to have texture. Lumps and dimples do not need removal. They mark the truth of a body that lives.

    Try not to resent the parts of your skin that you were taught to fear. The dimples, the softness, the marks, and the scars. They exist on all of us. What you call imperfections are often the features that make us human.

    Your body is not the thing that needs to change. What needs to change is the way the world talks about it.

    How does being a body image creator shape your perspective?

    Being a woman has taught me to honor my natural body including cellulite. I no longer hide. I no longer apologize for my curves. I feel grounded knowing that my skin reflects real beauty for many women.

    You can find Bella on Instagram at @isabelladavis6

    Stretch Marks Tell a Beautiful Story About Your Body

    Curvy woman with stretch marks confidently embracing her natural body, showing self-love and body positivity with visible tummy, no makeup, all natural.
    Photo courtesy of Bella Davis

    Stretch marks tell a beautiful story about your body that is unique to you. They show that our bodies are capable of surviving incredible change and transformation. These marks carry history, growth, movement, and life. They trace where you have been and quietly reflect who you are becoming.

    Here are seven reasons to embrace and appreciate your stretch marks.

    1. Everyone Has Them

    No matter your weight, height, size, or shape, everyone has stretch marks. They are a universal part of the human body and not a sign that something needs fixing.

    2. They Are Incredibly Cute

    There is something soft and tender about the way stretch marks move with the skin. They can be delicate, subtle, and visually striking in the most natural way.

    3. Our Bodies Are Meant to Change

    Our bodies are supposed to change, and the changes we experience are incredible. From puberty to muscle growth to pregnancy, the female body adapts and expands. It is something to be recognized for its power and ability—the body is amazing for what it carries and survives.

    4. They Come in Different Colors and Sizes

    Stretch marks appear in a spectrum of shades and patterns. Some are silver, some are pink, some fade, some deepen. Each has its own tone and form.

    5. Each Stretch Mark Is Unique

    No two are the same. Each line, each streak, each ripple is specific to the life you have lived. They mark chapters, transitions, and milestones.

    6. Gaining Weight Isn’t Shameful

    Gaining weight doesn’t take away from beauty or worth. A number does not define the woman or the body she moves through the world in. Softness and growth are not failures—they are part of life.

    7. They Are Artwork on Your Body

    Nobody’s stretch marks look identical. They are personal artwork carved through time. Your skin is a canvas, and stretch marks are pieces of its story.

    Stretch marks are normal, natural, and visually beautiful. They deserve recognition rather than hiding. They remind us that our bodies evolve and continue to carry us forward in extraordinary ways.

    Give your stretch marks attention and appreciation today—they have earned it.

    For more from Bella Davis, find her on Instagram @BellaDavis.

    Become Your Word

    You’re Not Lazy. You’re Missing One Habit That Changes Everything
    Single unlit matchstick on a black background symbolizing potential, self-trust, and the moment before action.
    Photo by Pixaby

    When You Keep Breaking Promises to Yourself

    Have you ever said you were going to do something but didn’t follow through?
    Maybe you brushed it off, pretended like it never happened, and then it happened again.

    Before you know it, you’re making promises that aren’t true and failing to honor the commitments you made to yourself or others.

    Then you tell someone your plan, and they give you that look.
    “Yeah, right. I’ve heard you say that a hundred times, and I still haven’t seen it happen.”

    Suddenly, you wonder why they don’t trust you.
    You are not trying to disappoint anyone, but the doubt in their eyes stings.

    Why It’s Easy to Walk Away From Accountability

    At that point most people think, forget it.
    They walk away, leave the promise behind, and pretend it never existed.

    But messes do not clean themselves up. There is something to be accountable for here.
    When you do not do what you said you would do, the impact is that no one believes you until action proves otherwise. The only way to rebuild trust is to become your word.
    Whether it is speaking up when something matters, losing weight, saving money, or simply doing what you said you would do. You can become your word.

    How Not Keeping Your Word Weakens Self-Trust

    When you do not follow through, that voice inside whispers, just forget it. Move on. This is where so many people get stuck. We stop pursuing the things that matter. We stop knowing ourselves as reliable. That loss ripples into every part of life.

    When you are not your word:
    • You avoid the small actions that would move you forward.
    • You delay goals that could reshape your life.
    • You lose connection to your own power.

    What It Means to Become Your Word

    Imagine yourself as someone who follows through.
    Someone who does what they say. Someone who honors commitments both big and small. Someone who meets expectations even when no one else is watching.

    What would be possible for you?

    Now imagine taking it further. Honoring your word with the dreams you keep hidden.
    Those “I wish I could but I can’t” thoughts lose their grip when you become your word with them too.

    Where Integrity Begins

    A powerful life begins with this: be your word in everything you do. You do not need to commit to things you do not want. But when you want something, your word becomes the doorway to it.

    When you honor your word you:
    • Strengthen your relationship with yourself
    • Build trust with others
    • Create access to opportunities and connection
    • Become someone who follows through

    Staying on the Path Without Self-Judgment

    Do not make yourself wrong when you slip. Mistakes will happen. This is a discovery process, not a perfect one. Over time you will see that living as your word brings a deeper steadiness than avoiding the promises you made.

    It requires time. It requires perseverance. It requires patience. And the payoff is real.

    The Question That Decides Everything

    What area of your life is asking you to keep your word? Where are you ready to become the person who follows through?

    If this speaks to you, share your experience or connect with the author on Instagram @ambersabourin.

    Where the Past Ends and You Begin

    A photograph of two young women standing barefoot on sand, holding hands in front of two hanging fabric backdrops with trees and sky behind them, symbolizing identity, duality and inner growth.
    Photo by Pavel Danilyuk

    The Shaping of Who We Become

    We are born untouched, blank bodies with open hearts and soft beginnings. Everything after that becomes the shaping. Family, patterns, old beliefs, and the quiet rules of the home we grew up in begin to teach us how to exist. Some of these lessons become our anchors, and others become our limits.

    Traits We Carry Without Choosing

    For years, I carried traits I did not choose. Some helped me survive. Some helped me win. Some kept me small without me noticing. The truth is simple and uncomfortable. What shaped us is not required to stay.

    Awareness is the first break in the pattern. It is the moment you look at your habits and ask yourself whether you chose them or if they were handed to you without question.

    The Versions of Ourselves We Outgrow

    One of the traits I have carried is stubbornness. It has been my sharpest edge and my quiet trap. It made me unstoppable, but also difficult to meet, difficult to confront, and difficult to disagree with. So I ask myself whether I want to carry it forward, or if there is a new way of being I am ready to grow into.

    Changing yourself is not loud. It is not an announcement. Change is a series of small choices made when nobody is watching.

    When Others Still See Who You Used To Be

    Sometimes the people around you resist your evolution. That resistance is normal. They met you in an older version of yourself, and it takes time for them to learn the new one.

    Growth asks for patience. You reshape quietly while the world adjusts slowly.

    You Choose What Comes Next

    Your past does not get the final word. You do. You can end what limited you. You can expand what strengthens you. You can become someone new again and again.

    The woman you become is chosen, not inherited.

    Love always,
    Amberly @ambersabourin

    You Can Walk Away From Anyone Except the Person in the Mirror

    The Hardest Relationship You Will Ever Have Is With Yourself

    "The hardest relationship one will ever have is with themselves, because you can never walk away from it."

    You cannot walk away from yourself when you feel ashamed of your choices. You cannot escape when you are drowning in guilt or regret. This is where the Universal Law of Correspondence reveals itself. Your outer world mirrors your inner world. As within, so without. The moment you see this, everything changes. Liberation and fear arrive at the same time because once you know the truth, you can no longer blame others for what was born within.

    Why We Keep Attracting the Wrong People

    Without this awareness, women struggle with the painful pattern of choosing the wrong men, or the wrong people in general. Years of relationships, some brief and some long-term, leave intelligent and well-meaning women with invisible scars. Each ending bruises the heart. Each promise that breaks leaves you a little less hopeful. Emotional pain hides beneath the skin, so we continue forward believing we have learned the lesson. Then we return to love, hoping the next chapter will be different.

    The Illusion of Protection

    You may wear independence like armor. You may sharpen your intelligence, collect red flags like data, and present confidence to protect the parts of you you cannot bear to show. You may choose the opposite route, turning bitter and guarded, building walls no one can scale. But none of these defenses work if they are rooted in a lack of trust within yourself. Every wound you ignore waits for an opportunity to surface. It always does.

    My Breaking Point

    I learned this through experience. Two weeks before my thirtieth birthday, I faced the heartbreak that finally fractured me. Pride could not rescue me. Resilience could not stand me up. I moved through anger, resentment, grief, and confusion, searching for a new way to exist. What I found was a pattern. I had attracted emotionally detached men for over a decade. Every unhealed wound resurfaced in my relationships. My fear of intimacy was reflected back to me through their distance. The more I expected my last relationship to heal me, the more destroyed I felt when it ended.

    When Brokenness Meets Love

    Those who carry old wounds often hope another person will fill them. That was me. When he left, I did not only lose him. I lost the version of myself I had built around him. I had to confront the reflection I could no longer walk away from.

    Why This Inner Work Is Difficult

    We live in a world built on instant gratification. Social feeds show marriages, rings, wealth, and success. We are told that happiness is proof of achievement. Yet inner work demands patience, discomfort, honesty, and slowness. True growth asks you to:

    • Own your shadow as much as your light
    • Cut ties with anything that damages your peace
    • Trade pride for softness when softness is needed
    • Remember who you were before the world instructed you
    • Practice emotional discipline instead of emotional escape
    • Face your demons instead of distracting yourself from them

    Healing is not glamorous. It is intimate. It is private. It is work most people do not see, but it is the only way forward.

    Rising From the Ashes

    Failure does not define you. Rising does. You will evolve. You will stumble. You will regret. You will be hurt and you will forgive even when it feels impossible. You are not meant to be untouched. You are meant to become. There is no star brighter than the one you carry within you.

    Let it shine.
    As within, so without.

    Three Habits That Build the Woman Quietly

    Everyone struggles with self worth at some point. It is sad but inevitable. We all face mornings where getting out of bed feels difficult, let alone reminding ourselves that we are capable and deserving of good things.

    What often goes unnoticed is that care for the self does not need to be grand or overwhelming. It can be built through small intentional habits woven into daily rhythm. These moments of personal care lift mood, reshape self image, and create healthy patterns that can be passed on to the people we love.

    Below are three simple and powerful habits that can support your relationship with yourself every day.

    Photo by Merve Baydar

    1. Thank the Earth for Waking You to See Another Day

    Waking up is something many of us move through without noticing, yet not everyone receives that gift. A moment of morning gratitude can be as simple as:

    • Making your bed
    • Doing light stretches
    • Reading a chapter of a favorite book

    A sunrise is permission to slow down. When you pause to acknowledge the day before it sweeps you forward, you begin with clarity instead of chaos.

    (Video courtesy of Herbert Galang)

    2. Dedicate Time to Your Passions

    Life has a way of pulling us away from what lights us up. A job may look perfect on paper yet leave little room for creativity or joy.

    Even thirty minutes spent on something you love can refresh you. A jog. A new recipe. Embroidery. Paint. Music. These small devotions bring color back into routine and give the day something to look forward to.

    A passion honored is energy returned.

    3. Take Time to Truly Wind Down

    It is tempting to fall into bed the moment a long day ends, but a slow nighttime ritual can ease stress and prepare the mind for rest.

    Try:

    • Calming music while brushing your teeth
    • Chamomile tea as you settle into stillness
    • A candle or incense lit gently and safely

    When you give yourself space to unwind, you meet the next morning with a lighter heart and a clearer mind.

    Self respect is not selfish. It is balance.

    These habits may seem small, but their effect compounds in ways we often forget to measure. When you thank the day for beginning, honor the passions that live inside you, and allow yourself to rest, you shape a life built on steadiness and quiet joy.

    The Quiet War With Your Body

    And How to Finally End It
    Photo by Pavel Danilyuk

    The Secret Struggle of Body Hatred

    Body hatred rarely looks dramatic from the outside. It builds quietly through a glance in the mirror, a comparison, a moment of shame. Over time it becomes a private battle you carry everywhere, stealing presence from daily life, work, relationships, and joy, until all you can see is what you believe is wrong. If this feels familiar, you are not alone. You are not broken. I work with women who feel this every day, and I know with certainty that you can rebuild the relationship you have with your body. This shift does not come from pressure. It begins with truth.

    1. Bring the Secret Into the Light

    The most damaging thoughts are the ones we never speak. Write them. Say them. Let them exist outside your mind. When a thought like “I hate my stomach,” “I cannot stand my arms,” or “I feel disgusted when I see myself” is spoken or written, it loses power. Once truth leaves the mind it softens.

    2. Become the Observer, Not the Voice

    Notice your thoughts without fighting them, without negotiating, without arguing. When you observe with clarity, you create space. You may simply think “I am criticizing my body right now” or “I am uncomfortable with what I see.” That distance becomes the first moment of freedom.

    3. Accept the Truth of the Moment

    Acceptance is honesty, not surrender. You do not need to jump to loving your body. You only need to acknowledge what is real right now. Honesty creates space for change. Resistance keeps you stuck.

    4. Question the Fear Underneath Judgment

    Ask yourself whether you truly know that acceptance would make things worse. Most discover the opposite. Acceptance loosens the grip and interrupts the cycle.

    5. The Whirlpool Visualization

    Imagine fighting a whirlpool and notice how resistance pulls you deeper. Now imagine stopping the fight, letting go, floating. This mirrors the mind when it shifts into acceptance.

    6. Look for the Intelligence Beneath the Pain

    Ask what your body might be trying to teach you. The message could be stable nourishment, rest without guilt, awareness of triggers, boundaries, or simply the reminder that you deserve ease. The body is not the enemy. It is the messenger.

    7. Go to the Root

    Body hatred often comes from old wounds, early criticism, comparison, or fear. Inner child work or breathwork can reconnect you to the younger self who still feels unsafe or unworthy. She never needed perfection. She needed reassurance.

    The Real Goal

    The goal is not to love your body every day. The goal is to change the relationship you have with your own thoughts and respond with awareness instead of punishment. That shift brings clarity, relief, and the first steady sense of peace.

    How Writing Helped Me While Caring for Aging Parents with Cancer and COPD

    Elderly couple standing arm in arm on the beach while looking out at the water and sailboats, symbolizing aging, caregiving, and the passage of time.
    Photo by RDNE Stock project

    Writing has always been therapeutic for me. When life becomes heavy with responsibility and fear, I turn to writing to process what I feel and to find a small place of calm inside my own mind. Three weeks ago, my mom’s oncologist told us that her cancer had returned and that she needs more aggressive chemotherapy. During the same time, my dad continues to battle COPD. He is on oxygen eighteen hours a day and uses a nebulizer for six hours daily. His medications are constant and, stubborn as a goat, he sometimes fights us when we try to help.

    Learning to Care for Them and for Myself

    I am learning how to embrace my role as a caregiver for my parents, but the harder part is learning to care for myself as well. Many caregivers experience a grief that hides quietly beneath the surface. We watch the people who once guided us begin to ask for help. It seems simple from the outside, but inside there is a knot that forms without warning.

    The Hidden Grief of Watching Parents Age

    We grieve what is changing. We grieve the loss of independence that slowly leaves their bodies. These moments are subtle. I remember noticing my parents age in small ways and occasionally feeling startled by how quickly time moved. Yet I never fully faced the truth of that loss. The pain lived beneath my awareness, waiting.

    The Exhaustion Caregiving Brings

    My sister and I take turns with doctor appointments. We manage medications. We cook meals and deliver them. We argue with insurance providers. My energy drains easily. My mom was diagnosed with CML leukemia in 2010. She nearly died from the early side effects of treatment, then survived through a clinical trial, fought hard, and lived beautifully. And yet setbacks return. They arrive not only for her, but for our entire family.

    Writing a Will and Facing Inevitable Loss

    Recently my mom asked me to help her write her will. We had spoken about it before but never completed it. She also asked me to choose items she wanted me to have one day. She handed me papers and pointed to things in the basement for me to load into my car. I stayed strong for her, but inside I felt the weight of what was coming. It felt like a quiet earthquake beneath my ribs.

    Anticipatory Grief and the Pain That Comes Before Loss

    I learned that what I was feeling had a name: anticipatory grief. It is the pain that comes before death, when we see what is coming but cannot change it. There is also a grief I think of as early grief. It grows slowly and quietly. It is the grief of responsibilities shifting, of independence fading, of losing time for ourselves, for children, for work, for life.

    Why This Grief Can Break Caregivers Down

    If ignored, this form of grief can wear down both mind and body. It can lead to depression, exhaustion, and a hollow sense of self. Studies show that thirty percent or more of caregivers die before their loved ones. That statistic is not abstract. It is a warning. Early grief is a powerful force, and when it is unspoken, it becomes dangerous.

    Caring for Ourselves as Hard as We Care for Them

    We need to become friends to ourselves. We need support. Caregiver groups, therapy, or even honest conversations can help keep us from drowning in sorrow we never named. The well of grief is deep. Caregivers suffer too. Their pain deserves space, recognition, and compassion.

    To every caregiver moving through this season, I see you. I send peace and steadiness your way. Take care of yourself with the same fierceness you use to care for those you love.

    Plastic Surgery in a Beauty Obsessed World

    Supervenus and the Unsettling Reality of Cosmetic Perfection

    In an era where plastic surgery is more popular, more affordable, and more accessible than ever, artist Frédéric Doazan offers a stark and satirical look at its consequences. His short animation Supervenus uses Photoshop as a scalpel to reveal a progression of cosmetic enhancement that begins comical and quickly turns disturbing. It exposes the darker side of aesthetic perfection and the culture that relentlessly demands it.

    (Supervenus by Frédéric Doazan is a satirical time lapse that reveals the risks and extremes of modern plastic surgery culture.)

    The Legacy of Plastic Surgery Disasters

    For decades the world has been fascinated and horrified by cosmetic procedures gone wrong. News headlines, reality television, and irreversible outcomes continue to shape the narrative. Supervenus draws from that history and critiques the pursuit of flawless beauty and how easily it spirals into distortion.

    A Transformation Frame by Frame

    The animation begins with subtle corrections. Then more. Then more. Refinement becomes exaggeration. Perfection slips into mutation.

    The further she is improved, the less human she becomes. The work echoes the real world risk of enhancement without end where the chase for idealized beauty replaces the original face entirely.

    Comedy Sharp Enough to Cut

    Doazan blends satire with surreal body modification that is humorous and unsettling at the same time. It is funny, then frightening. Absurd, yet uncomfortably familiar.

    The film forces the question
    What are we doing to ourselves in the name of beauty
    How far will we stretch the body to mimic a standard that never existed in the first place

    Beyond the Humor A Cultural Warning

    Behind the visual comedy sits a warning. Supervenus is not only entertainment, it is a mirror. It reflects a world where cosmetic enhancement is normalized, where risk is dismissed, where beauty becomes engineered instead of embodied.

    The film reveals how continuous reconstruction can erase individuality until nothing organic remains.

    Supervenus stands as a visual alarm. A reminder that beauty trends evolve, yet the price of chasing them may last forever. It confronts us with one clear and uncomfortable truth

    The more we sculpt, the less we resemble the woman we began with.

    Loving My Body as a Radical Act: A Reflection on Belonging

    Photo by Jaycee300s

    In a world where women are constantly told to shrink themselves,

    loving my body has become one of the most radical acts I can commit.

    “She wore ill-fitting clothes to hide her substantial womanliness. Bummi never understood why English women did not show off the outline of their fulsomeness. The more fulsome, the better, so long as it was done with decorum. In her culture, a substantial woman was a desirable one.”
    — Bernadine Evaristo, Girl, Woman, Other

    Like Bummi, I now believe that the fuller and more shapely a woman is, the better. Unlike her, I understand why women in some societies don’t celebrate their shapeliness. Bummi’s Nigerian culture likened fuller breasts, soft stomach, and generous hips to signs of health and beauty. A woman ready to bear fruit.

    I share Bummi’s heritage, but I was raised in America, in towns where Black people made up less than one percent of the population. That means most of my perception of beauty, sex appeal, and social belonging was shaped through the white gaze.

    Growing Up Tall, Black, and Full-Bodied in a World That Wanted Me Smaller

    I have been six foot one since I was thirteen, with thighs, hips, and a waistline that never matched the beauty ideals around me. For years, I held on to stories that told me my height was too masculine and my waist not small enough. My body was judged against a standard I never chose.

    But recently, I have been remembering this truth. My spirit and soul are not tethered to my height, my waist, or my curves. My worth is not measured in inches.

    Reclaiming My Body Through Music and Movement

    When I press play on my dancehall or afrobeats playlist and my soft, strong, flexible waist winds to the beat, my Blackness and my Africanness unearth themselves.

    When my long, thick legs twist and jump in rhythmic succession, I feel the inheritance in my body’s movement. It transcends the low vibration of perfectionism and the narrow ideals that once shaped how I viewed myself.

    My Body as Celebration

    Loving my body is not about reaching a beauty standard. It is about rejecting one. It is embracing the truth that my height, my curves, my strength, and my softness all tell the story of who I am.

    My body is glorious simply because it exists. That truth is a celebration. And in a world that asks women to make themselves smaller, that celebration is an act of resistance.

    ~ Nkem [@Naturallyfree123]

    How I Learned to Fight Back

    A woman’s face lit by a small lantern in the dark, her expression quiet and reflective as she looks toward the light.
    Photo by Melvin

    I was seven years old when the world changed for me.

    One word. One moment. One truck full of boys who gave me my first lesson in hate.

    Until then, racism felt like something that lived in dusty textbooks and old documentaries, something far away from my life. But that afternoon, as I walked alone for the first time, a new kind of fear entered my body. A truck slowed beside me. Their voices rose. A single racial slur cut through the air and landed on my skin like fire.

    Everything went silent. Everyone stared. I stood alone.

    For the first time in my life, I understood what it meant to be the other. I was a child, but the weight of history pressed on my small shoulders. In that moment, I felt exposed and unprotected. I did not have the words for what happened, but my body remembered everything.

    Growing Up as the Only Black Child in a White Neighborhood

    Growing up as the only Black child in a mostly white neighborhood meant that moment was not an isolated event. It was the beginning of many. The stares in classrooms. The comments disguised as jokes. The tension every time the topic of slavery surfaced in school. I carried it without knowing I was carrying trauma.

    My parents tried to prepare me in their own gentle way. They reminded me that hateful words do not define me. They told me that people fear what they refuse to understand. Their love helped, but some wounds settle deep and stay quiet until something forces them awake.

    The Awakening That Found Me in 2020

    For me, that awakening came in 2020. Watching the video of George Floyd shook loose everything I had buried. Memories surged through me like a tidal wave. I cried for the world, but I also cried for the seven year old girl who stood on a street corner frozen while a word meant to break her echoed in her ears.

    I call them my episodes now. POC PTSD moments. Flashbacks of all the times I was reduced to a stereotype or a slur. But something was different this time. The world was watching. The world was marching. The world was finally listening.

    For the first time, I did not feel alone.

    Healing and the Power of Awareness

    Healing is not a straight line. It is a long road with days of strength and days of exhaustion. But I have learned this truth. The day hate found me was painful, but it was not the end of my story. It was the beginning of my voice.

    I fight back by speaking. I fight back by remembering. I fight back by refusing to shrink.

    We still have a long way to go. But I believe in the power of awareness and unity. I believe in the next generation and the one after that. And I believe that together, we can keep moving toward a world where no child learns hate before they learn their own worth.

    This is my story. This is my reminder. We do not walk this road alone.

    Is Your Attachment Sabotaging What You’re Committed To?

    Discover the Difference and Take Control of Your Life
    A close-up of a hand writing in a notebook with a white pen, captured in black and white to symbolize clarity, focus, and personal commitment.
    Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko

    Are you truly committed to living a life

    you love or simply attached to the thought of it? This subtle but powerful difference can shape your entire journey toward creating the life you want.

    Are You Filling Your Life with What You Love?

    Do you actively take steps to fill your days with things that light you up? Are you patient and kind with yourself as you navigate the twists and turns?
    Commitment means honoring your principles and values. It means giving yourself the grace to try, fail, and learn.

    Attachment vs. Commitment: The Hidden Saboteur of Your Dreams

    Many people know what their ideal life looks like, but most are attached only to the idea of it, not the process of making it real.

    You may envision success. You may understand the steps it takes.
    But if you are not acting consistently or with focused momentum, you remain attached to the dream instead of committed to the work.

    The result is a quiet but persistent pattern: settling for less than what you want, stuck in a loop of waiting and wishing.

    Ask Yourself: Which Side Are You On?

    Are you clinging to the dream or dedicating yourself to the work it requires?

    Recognizing the difference is the first step. The deeper step is asking yourself why you want to be committed.
    Your “why” is the spark that fuels passion and perseverance.
    It is the reason that keeps you moving when things become challenging.

    How Commitment Changes Your Presence and Energy

    When you shift from attachment to commitment, people notice.
    Your actions speak louder than your words.
    They see your drive, your dedication, and the life you are creating.

    You stop obsessing over the end goal and start living in the present, energized by purpose and anchored in clarity.

    Finding Your Why: The Key to Active Commitment

    Write down why you choose to live powerfully each day.
    Make that reason so compelling it pulls you forward with a force you cannot ignore.
    This clarity will shape how you show up through challenges, breakthroughs, and every moment in between.

    I’d love to connect with you on Instagram.
    You can find me at @ambersabourin

    Much love to you all,
    Amberly

    What Makes a True Queen:

    The Power of Women
    Black and white close-up of a woman’s eye and face, symbolizing identity, perception, and inner power.
    Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy

    Redefining the Woman Called “Queen”

    What makes a true queen is often overlooked and easily distorted. Traditionally, a queen is seen as the female ruler of an independent nation, often defined by her marriage to a king. In modern culture, the word has been reduced to a nickname for an insecure girl searching for validation.

    But look closer. The original meaning has never disappeared. It’s only been misinterpreted.

    The Power of a Queen in Nature and Life

    In chess, the queen is the most powerful piece on the board.
    In nature, the queen bee is the mother, the leader, the axis of an entire colony.

    Across definitions, one truth repeats itself: A queen is a woman in her power. Her presence shifts the room. Her choices shape the landscape. Her influence is not borrowed. It is built.

    Why So Many Women Struggle to Claim This Word

    Many women hesitate to see themselves as queens because they feel they don’t live up to the title. There are moments when power feels distant, when our voices seem softer than the noise around us. Society conditions women to be visible but quiet, graceful but contained, soft but never too strong.

    As if softness and strength cannot coexist. As if depth cancels out delicacy.

    Feminine Power: Strength and Softness at Once

    The truth is simple: feminine power is not about choosing one dimension of yourself over another. It’s the ability to hold both.

    A queen is not defined by dominance. She is defined by integration—her softness does not weaken her strength, and her strength does not erase her softness. She carries both without apology.

    Women as the Bridge Between Worlds

    Women often forget that they are the bridge between heaven and earth. Some bring children into the world. Others build structures, visions, and futures from nothing but imagination and will. Both acts create life. Both acts shape kingdoms. The actions of a queen begin with the mind of one.

    Claiming Your Crown

    Whether you’ve been called a drama queen, beauty queen, or queen bee, the title is yours to define. A true queen isn’t handed her crown. She shapes it with her choices, her presence, and the way she inhabits her own life. A queen is simply a woman who chooses to stand in her full form.

    The Woman, In Sound

    Where Black Femininity Finds Its Rhythm

    As Black women, we learn early how to hold a kind of strength that is both quiet and unmistakable. We move through the world carrying history, expectation, beauty, pressure, and brilliance all at once. And somehow, we still find ways to return to ourselves.

    Music has always been one of those ways.
    A reset.
    A reminder.
    A place to breathe.

    A Playlist Made From the Lives of Women

    This playlist was created with that in mind.
    Songs from women whose voices feel like mirrors—women who sound like us, speak like us, and move through life with the same blend of softness, and resilience.

    These tracks are not background noise.
    They shift something. They settle something. They pull you back into your own rhythm when the world asks for too much at once.

    Black woman silhouette with natural afro standing near ocean at sunset, profile portrait.
    Photo by Lord Over Makers
    A playlist shaped by lived experience. Press play and let the music land where it needs to.

    Daily Habits That Bring You Back to Yourself

    Woman sitting on a bed in soft morning light with large sheer curtains and industrial windows behind her.
    Photo by Hawk i i

    Beginning the Morning Before It Begins

    When the sun comes up, some people greet the day with energy. Others open their eyes and feel the weight of another cycle starting. If the second feels more familiar, this is for you. These three habits aren’t dramatic changes. They are small shifts that steady the mind, soften the morning, and gradually make the start of your day feel less chaotic and more yours.

    1. Early to Bed, Early to Rise

    We all heard it growing up, but the older we get, the clearer it becomes. Going to bed early gives the body a full reset. It sharpens your focus, calms your system, and sets the tone for the day ahead. Choose a wake-up time that supports the life you’re trying to build and honor it. Consistency is what creates clarity.

    2. A Few Minutes of Stillness

    Carve out a moment for meditation or quiet. Even a brief session can bring calm into a crowded mind. Stillness reshapes the pace of your day before it begins. It softens stress, grounds your thoughts, and makes space for clarity. This isn’t self-care as a trend. It’s maintenance.

    3. Hydration as a Ritual

    Water supports everything—energy, skin, digestion, mood. Keep it within reach throughout the day. Especially during warm or dry seasons, hydration becomes a simple act that changes how you feel in your body. You’ll notice the difference. Your mind will too.

    The Quiet Truth About Wanting to Be Wanted

    couple lying in bed facing opposite directions while using their phones
    Photo by Roman Odintsov

    Women have needs.
    Needs for connection, attention, closeness, and yes, desire. These needs are not dramatic or excessive. They are human. Yet women are often shamed for wanting to feel chosen, prioritized, and thought of.

    This is not about obsessive attachment or the kind of neediness that overwhelms a relationship. This is about a universal truth:
    being wanted feels good.
    And there is nothing weak about that.

    Why Wanting to Be Wanted Is Completely Human

    Every person wants to feel set apart. To feel valued. To be seen in a way that says, “You matter here.” This instinct is not created in adulthood. It is shaped in childhood. It grows from the moments we felt dismissed or overlooked and from the many small rejections that accumulated over the years. So when someone finally makes us feel desirable, the pull can be powerful. But here is the quiet truth most people avoid:

    No relationship can solve an internal void.
    No partner can rewrite the insecurities you never addressed.

    Desire feels beautiful, but it cannot carry the weight of your healing.

    When Attraction Becomes a Distraction

    Some women use intimacy to feel wanted.
    Some men do the same. The problem is not the desire itself. The problem is hoping that physical closeness will soothe emotional emptiness. It never does. The moment the high fades, you realize the connection was temporary and that the feeling you were chasing was never theirs to give. Intimacy without self-worth is a short-term fix with long-term consequences.

    A Message to Men

    If you are drawn to a woman who wants to feel desired, honor that.
    Respect that need.
    Protect it.

    Be clear about your intentions from the beginning. Do not pursue her for the attention and pull away once you receive it. Do not confuse desire with convenience. And do not feed your ego at the expense of her heart.

    A Message to Women

    Own your needs. Say them out loud. Do not shrink them. Do not apologize for them. Do not pretend you are fine with casual energy when you crave something deeper. When you silence your needs, you create unspoken expectations. And unspoken expectations always turn into disappointment. Ask for what you actually want. Not what you think will keep someone close. Not what you hope might grow into more.

    Your boundaries are not conditions. They are clarity.

    The Truth About Healthy Relationships

    Healthy relationships are not mysterious.
    They are built on:

    Honesty
    Communication
    Respect
    Emotional awareness
    Reciprocity

    Not games. Not guessing. Not hoping someone will magically change. The most powerful shift you can make is this:

    Stop waiting for someone to choose you.
    Choose yourself first.
    That is where real desire begins. Not from scarcity. From worth.

    2 Steps to Powerful Personal Growth

    Woman sitting curled on a wooden dock beside a calm lake, reflecting quietly in nature
    Photo by Cottonbro Studio

    Transform your mindset and move through life with clarity and strength

    Anthony Robbins teaches six human needs: certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth, and contribution. Of all of them, growth remains one of the most reliable paths to lasting happiness.

    When you prioritize personal growth, you begin finding joy in the progression itself. You notice yourself responding to challenges with steadiness and presence. You learn that fulfillment doesn’t come from a single outcome. It comes from the confidence that you can handle whatever arrives.

    Here are two simple steps that help you evolve, deepen your relationship with yourself, and turn obstacles into openings.

    Step 1: Change Your Relationship With Obstacles

    When challenges appear, shift from judgment to awareness. Instead of trying to “fix” who you are, approach the moment with acceptance.

    Try this:

    • Notice your body’s reaction.
    If your chest tightens, your stomach knots, or emotions rise, pause before you react.
    • Breathe into the tension.
    Picture the kind of steady, unconditional care you hold for a child or a beloved pet.
    Let that warmth move toward the part of you that feels constricted.

    Over time, this softens self-criticism. You stop chasing external approval to feel worthy. You learn to welcome the parts of yourself that don’t yet feel polished.

    A useful question:
    What are you here to teach me?

    Get quiet. Listen. The answer usually arrives.

    Step 2: Take One Small Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

    Growth doesn’t demand a dramatic leap. Pushing too far too fast can create fear or resistance. Instead, choose one small action that stretches you without overwhelming you.

    Tiny, consistent steps do more than giant, inconsistent ones. They build confidence and momentum. Eventually, you look back and realize how far you’ve moved — not through force, but through steady expansion.

    The Beauty of This Approach

    When you pair care with small, intentional action, growth becomes something you anticipate. You trust yourself more. You gain resilience. And you experience the truth: joy comes from who you become, not from a destination you reach.

    If this resonates, connect with me on Instagram @soulintheraw. I’d love to witness your path and celebrate your evolution.

    If this resonates with you, connect with me on Instagram @soulintheraw. I’d love to hear your insights and celebrate your growth journey.

    When You Stop Chasing the Spark, It Finally Finds You

    Black and white photo of a couple sharing an intimate moment through a subway window, symbolizing modern dating, desire, and emotional connection.
    Photo by Jonathan Borba

    The Dating Struggle: Searching for Connection

    If you’re dating and searching for that elusive magic, this is for you. Most people know about writer’s block, that frustrating moment when words won’t flow no matter how hard you try. I was feeling that same kind of block, but with dating. I was hopeless, impatient, and frustrated because I just wasn’t meeting anyone who could keep my interest for more than a day or two.

    The Challenges of Modern Dating

    It wasn’t for lack of trying either. I was connecting with men who were interested and wanted to meet up, but most just wanted to sleep with me. And honestly, they didn’t even know how to really connect, physically or mentally.

    Why Physical Connection Isn’t Enough

    Sex isn’t just sex for me. It has to be more than that. When the mental connection is strong, the physical takes you places beyond the mind. Without that, it becomes boring and unsatisfying.

    Seeking a Meaningful Relationship

    I need a man who is genuinely intrigued by me. Someone who wants to know what makes me tick in every way. And I want that too. When I don’t get it, I get bored. And sure enough, I end up disappointed again and again.

    I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened. I’d rather lose count of orgasms, not disappointments.

    When Chemistry Doesn’t Click

    Then there were the men who caught my attention mentally but where the physical simply didn’t click. After a kiss, a coffee, or even sex, something inside me switched off and I couldn’t explain why.

    Having those honest conversations was hard. One guy even took my rejection as a challenge, which annoyed me. Others were respectful, which somehow made me feel worse about not fully understanding why things weren’t working.

    The Realization: Stop Hunting for Magic

    So I decided to stop hunting for magic. Because magic can’t be found. It finds you.

    I spent months chasing butterflies and rainbows in all the usual places. It was pointless but necessary. I needed that “ah ha” moment. I needed the frustration to show me that my energy was misplaced, chasing something outside myself instead of focusing on what I could actually control.

    Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in Dating

    Now I’m focused on my own emotional intelligence and cultivating my own magic, so one day it will meet its match.

    When You Finally See What’s Been Guiding You

    Photo by Cottonbro

    Are You Living From Outside Expectations or Your Inner Truth?

    Are you living by the standards and ideals around you or by the values and principles that truly matter to you?
    When it comes to self-love and living powerfully, do you find yourself following the standards set by others or have you created your own principles that inspire you every day?

    Have you ever paused long enough to ask what actually influences your choices?
    Are you living according to what matters most to you or according to how others think your life should look?

    What Standards and Ideals Really Are

    Standards and ideals are expectations that often represent perfection or excellence, but they are usually shaped by others.
    They come from family, friends, community, workplace culture, politics, and society as a whole.

    When you live according to these external expectations, you begin acting in ways that satisfy others.
    This often leads to an inauthentic way of being that does not reflect who you truly are or what inspires you most.

    Why Values and Principles Matter More

    Values and principles are your personal compass.
    They come from what inspires you, what you believe in, and what gives your life meaning.

    When you live according to your own principles and values, you:

    • Do what you love and what inspires you
    • Measure your self-worth by your own standards
    • Cultivate self-love by being open to giving and receiving love in all forms

    This alignment creates a mindset of self-love and gratitude because your actions resonate deeply with who you are.

    My Shift From External Standards to My Own Principles

    This became clear to me during a difficult relationship.
    I found myself caught between two thoughts:

    No one has to be the same person tomorrow as they were today.
    No one who loves me would hurt me like this.

    Both thoughts came from standards and ideals I absorbed from the world around me.
    I had no clear personal values guiding my love life.
    Instead of owning my role, I blamed the men I dated for not meeting expectations I never created for myself.

    The real issue was that my own ways of being were blocking love.

    The challenge became discovering my own principles and values, beginning with how much I valued myself and the minimum love I was willing to accept for a relationship to flourish.

    Once I created a vision of a mutually abundant relationship and stood firmly inside it, everything shifted.
    I began to see men, relationships, and myself through a completely new lens. This opened up possibilities for love and for every area of my life.

    How to Stay True to Your Principles in a World Full of Noise

    We often let external expectations overpower the personal values we set for ourselves.
    The more self-aware you become about your ways of being, the easier it is to notice when you’re slipping into someone else’s expectations.

    Once you see it, you can gently move those aside and return to your values as your guiding light.

    Build the Muscle of Self-Awareness

    Be patient and kind with yourself as you practice this awareness.
    Give yourself space to strengthen this muscle until living authentically becomes second nature.

    I’d love to hear the principles and values that inspire you to live powerfully and love yourself wholeheartedly.
    Find me on Instagram @ambersabourin.

    Love always,
    Amberly

    Rebuilding the Relationship You Have With Yourself

    Photo by Kayla Watson

    Love. That four-letter word can evoke all kinds of emotions depending on where you are in life and the experiences you’ve attached to it. More than ever, it’s important to direct that energy inward — toward yourself. But how do we actually show up and love ourselves?

    There’s no manual for self-love, yet it’s something we must practice to live a healthy, fulfilled life. In a digital world that constantly bombards us with images and information, falling into comparison becomes effortless. Highlight reels of seemingly perfect lives can make us feel like we’re not enough — not our bodies, not our choices, not the way we move through life.

    One truth I’ve learned: we must be gentle with ourselves. All the grace and love we pour into others deserves to be redirected inward. Small acts of self-kindness and embracing our imperfections are essential steps in building a loving relationship with ourselves.

    I see you. I’m proud of you. Take your time. Be gentle. And know it only gets better from here.

    1. Take a Social Media Cleanse

    We’ve all heard this advice, but there’s a reason it keeps resurfacing. Social media can clutter your mental space and create quiet feelings of inadequacy. I took three months away from Instagram, and it was life-changing. It reminded me how much time I spent looking at other people’s lives instead of living my own.

    2. Curate Your Digital Space

    If you use Instagram for work or simply enjoy it, focus on curating your feed with intention. Unfollow accounts that make you feel insecure or “less than.” Follow voices that uplift and add value. One woman who’s helped me tremendously is @cwhitehill — her work centers on self-kindness and loving yourself fully.

    3. Reconnect With Your Inner Circle

    It’s easy to become absorbed in the digital world and forget the grounding power of real-life connection. Spend time with people who remind you who you are — the ones who cheer for you and reflect your light back to you. These relationships reinforce self-love and keep you rooted in what’s real.

    4. Take a Day for Yourself

    If you’re naturally social, this can feel uncomfortable at first. But taking a day for yourself is never wasted. It gives you space to sit with your thoughts, unpack emotions, and reflect without judgment. Solitude and self-reflection are powerful tools for deepening the relationship you have with yourself.

    5. Go for Nature Walks

    Even if you’re a city person like me, finding a quiet outdoor space can be transformative. You don’t always need a plan — just walk, observe your thoughts, and pour love and truth into them. Remind yourself of the heartaches you’ve survived and the joy that still waits for you. Nature has a way of softening the noise and leading you back to yourself.

    Growing Self-Love Every Day

    Building a loving relationship with yourself is a journey, not a finish line. These five strategies are small but powerful ways to nurture your self-worth, compassion, and inner joy. Be patient. Celebrate the small wins. Give yourself permission to grow at your own pace.

    I see you. I’m proud of the steps you’re taking. Keep

    Why the Traits You Hide

    Are the Ones That Make You Powerful
    Woman standing confidently in underwear with prosthetic arm and leg, embracing her unique body under dramatic studio lighting.
    Photo by pexels

    The Power You Don’t Realize You Have

    Have you ever stopped to think about your superpower? We idolize superheroes for their strength, skills, and extraordinary abilities. Wonder Woman is stronger than any man alive and can read people’s feelings. Supergirl has superhuman strength — and neither of them is even from Earth. Storm, my girl, can manipulate the weather itself. And then there’s Captain Marvel, Black Widow, and so many other superheroines who defy expectations and redefine what it means to be powerful.

    They’re all “weird” in their own ways. But notice something: no one calls them freaks or weirdos. Why? Because they recognize, understand, and embrace what makes them different from the rest of humanity. They use their gifts wisely.

    Real-Life Superwomen Who Embraced Their Power

    Fiction aside, there are real women — especially Black women — who refused to let circumstances define or limit them. Michelle Obama reshaped what grace, leadership, and influence look like. Serena Williams dominated tennis and shattered barriers in sports. Oprah Winfrey shaped media, culture, and philanthropy. Viola Davis continues to excel in film, on stage, and in advocacy. Winnie Harlow redefined beauty standards and inspires confidence around the world.

    They all overcame naysayers, limitations, and expectations to become icons in their fields. Their stories remind us that embracing what makes you different is the foundation of real power.

    Your Superpower Is Already Within You

    Here’s the truth: being a woman is your superpower. You were created to fill a void no one else can. Your body, your mind, and your abilities are unique and impossible to imitate. Your superpower transcends skin color, health conditions, body weight, ethnicity, height, and every social expectation projected onto you.

    Who are others to judge what is socially acceptable? Often, it’s their fear or discomfort speaking — never your limitation.

    How to Turn Your “Weird” Into Your Power

    Your uniqueness is not an accident. Recognize what sets you apart. Embrace the parts of you others may not understand. Those quirks and qualities people label as “weird” are often your greatest strengths. Use your gifts intentionally, in ways that positively impact your life and the lives of those around you.

    Darling, your differences are your power. Stop shrinking. Stop apologizing. Own your weird. Embrace your superpower. Let the world see it shine.

    Black Culture: The Wounded Warriors

    Photo by Vurzie Kim

    Reflecting on the Present and Our History

    As I cast my gaze over the large green pasture and breathe in Mother Nature’s gentle breeze, I let my imagination carry me away. It is June of 2020. I am a citizen of the richest nation in the world — a nation with self-driving cars, instant news, and delivery apps for nearly everything. And yet it is in the midst of the largest civil rights movement of its time.

    It’s ironic. America has achieved so much progress in technology and innovation, yet true equality for Black people still feels like the proverbial hamster on a wheel: pushing hard, yet ending up in the same place.

    My Identity and the Weight of Generational Pain

    My name is Nichole. I am God-fearing. I am an artist, a mother, a friend, a lover, a fighter, and above all — a Black woman.

    Tears stream down my face as I try to comprehend how this nation can be so majestic and destructive simultaneously. My childhood held its own traumas. My parents loved us fiercely, but they were wounded and not always equipped to handle it.

    My mom, a brilliant finance manager, oversaw million-dollar budgets yet was passed over simply because she was Black.

    My dad, a Navy veteran of 30 years, sacrificed for this country but still faced systemic obstacles tied to his race.

    For my parents, being Black meant fighting every day for basic access to the American Dream, despite their qualifications and efforts. The Constitution promised them equality, but it wasn’t written with them in mind.

    The Ubiquity of Pain in Black Culture

    That sense of powerlessness has been passed down through generations. Black wounded culture manifests in many ways. Median income remains far below the poverty line. Violence and self-destruction continue to rise. Cultural misrepresentation and appropriation persist. Broken minds, spirits, and hearts reflect pain onto one another.

    We wake up daily, putting on our wounded warrior masks, navigating a society that offers little space for healing or justice.

    Conformity vs. Authenticity

    As Black women, we are pressured to conform — to style, hair, body, and beauty standards. Black men face the reality of being perceived as threats regardless of their actions. Our children are conditioned to work harder and fight for recognition.

    A personal example remains etched in my mind: while working a customer service job, a man called to complain about an ad featuring “some Black man.” His words shocked me, and I cried. Even after years of hearing comments like this, the sting remains. It’s a reminder of how deeply ingrained societal bias affects us and the ways we respond.

    Finding Strength and Resilience

    In that moment, I felt God’s presence and heard a whisper: keep going. Suddenly, the achievements of Black culture over 400 years flooded my mind.

    From chains to CEOs. From drug dealers to doctors. From poverty to the presidency. From addicts to athletes. Our culture has thrived because we kept going despite adversity.

    My parents turned dystopia into their Utopia. They didn’t wait for better conditions. They chose to grow, thrive, and align with the vision God had for them.

    The Magic of Black Wounded Culture

    As I stand in that pasture, I smile, reminded that our Black wounded culture is full of magic. Love and resilience persist, even through generational trauma and societal challenges. There is no light without dark, and the legacy of Black strength and achievement continues to shine.

    How Beauty Expectations Shape the Way Black Women Are Seen

    Black woman standing in a doorway wearing a floral dress and headwrap, looking directly at the camera in natural light. Portrait capturing identity, cultural expression, and the lived experience of how Black women are seen.
    Photo by Serdi Nam
    “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” — Brené Brown

    The Weight of Daily Commentary

    We don’t talk nearly enough about the harmful and debilitating comments Black women endure daily, from the color of our skin to the texture of our hair to the shape of our bodies. Whether they show up as microinsults or outright disrespect, these moments chip away at self-esteem. And they are not new. As early as the fifteenth century, aspects of our culture including hair, traditions, and beliefs were stripped away. The effects are still visible today.

    I spoke with three beautiful Black women who bravely shared how certain comments and behaviors have left them feeling insecure in their own skin.

    Hair Discrimination and the “It Can’t Be Yours” Assumption

    Black woman with long braids looking directly at the camera in a black-and-white close-up portrait, representing identity, natural hair, and the lived experience of being seen and judged.
    Photo by Ezekixl

    Ty, twenty one, shared her frustration.

    “When I had my hair relaxed and it was long to my butt, I was constantly asked if it was weave or if I’m mixed. Now with long natural hair, I’m still asked if it’s weave or immediately what I’m mixed with. It’s not flattering. It’s like a Black girl can’t have beautiful hair without it being fake. Like it’s impossible for me to just be Black with long hair, there has to be some sort of universe stirring in my favor.”

    These assumptions reveal a deeper bias, the idea that Black beauty must be explained or linked to something other than being fully Black.

    Colorism and Rejection From Our Own

    Mel, twenty two, recalled a painful experience.

    “I dated a guy in secondary school but never met him in person. When we finally planned to meet, my white female best friend came along. He assumed she was the girl he’d been talking to and started flirting with her. When she corrected him, he told me to my face that he doesn’t like Black girls, then asked my friend out in front of me. He was a Black man himself. My heart was broken. I know everyone has preferences, but it made me ashamed of my skin color and afraid of dating.”

    This moment was more than rejection. It was internalized racism. And the wound it created was deep.

    Body Image Pressures in Black Culture

    Mia, twenty two, spoke about how stereotypes shaped her view of her own body.

    “I’ve always felt like Black women are portrayed as having wide hips, a big ass, and full breasts. Being petite, I’d look at myself and think, ‘I don’t look like that.’ It made me insecure because I didn’t fit the so called image of what a Black woman is supposed to look like.”

    This narrow portrayal of Black femininity leaves many women feeling like they are not enough, even within their own community.

    Healing and Rewriting the Narrative

    Despite these painful experiences, each woman has found a way to reclaim her power. Ty now embraces her natural hair confidently, regardless of questions and criticism. Mel is in a relationship where she is loved unconditionally. Mia is on a transformative journey of reconnecting with herself and making tremendous progress.

    The day a Black woman begins to love herself without apology is the day she becomes an unstoppable force.

    The Call to Black Women Everywhere

    Ignore the noise. Heal from the wounds of comparison and criticism. Your life truly begins when you love yourself as you are. The journey is not easy. It is the most radical and powerful act you can take.

    A Study in Commitment and the Life You Want

    Photo by Vincent B

    How to Go From Being Attached to the Thought of Living a Life You Love to Actively Committing to It

    Understanding the Difference Between Attachment and Commitment

    Are you attached to the thought of living a life you love, or are you actively committed to making it happen?

    Attachment keeps us imagining a perfect life without taking consistent action. Commitment means aligning your actions, principles, and values to create a reality that reflects what you truly want.

    Ask yourself:
    Are you taking consistent action to fill your life with things you love?
    Are you patient with yourself during the process?
    Do you give yourself the space to experiment, make mistakes, and discover what truly works for you?
    When you discover what works, do you allow yourself the time to gain momentum and see real results?
    Are you challenging yourself to grow beyond your previous limits?

    Why Most People Don’t Live Their Best Life

    We all want the life of our dreams, and some people achieve it. But most of us settle for a lesser version of what we want because we’re not committed. We’re attached to the idea of a better life but not willing to consistently act on it. We know what’s possible. We often know the steps required to get there. But without action, the life we imagine stays imagined and never becomes real.

    The Power of Knowing Your Why

    The first step toward commitment is asking yourself:
    Why do I want to live this life?
    What does a life I love actually look like for me?

    Your why is the source of your passion and drive. When you are in love with your why, it fuels the actions that turn dreams into reality.

    How Active Commitment Transforms Your Life

    When you move from attachment to commitment, people notice your actions and your dedication. Your energy communicates passion, hope, and inspiration. You stop obsessing over the end result and start fully living in the present, guided by your reasons why.

    Daily reminders of your why keep your commitment alive. Planning your actions around that why ensures that your choices reflect the life you want to live.

    My Journey From Attachment to Commitment

    I wasn’t always committed to living a life I love. I struggled with self-love, body image, and purpose. But when I discovered my why—impacting the world positively—I began to change.

    I actively commit to my purpose every day. I let that commitment guide my actions and interactions. You, my readers and followers, are my why. Everything I do is intended to create a positive impact on you and the world around us.

    Your Turn: Commit to Your Best Life

    Take a moment today to reflect on whether you are attached or committed. How can you begin taking consistent action that honors your why?

    I’d love to hear how you are committing to living a life you love. Connect with me on Instagram @ambersabourin.

    Much love,
    Amberly

    What I Learned When He Walked Away

    Soft natural-light portrait of a woman resting her face on her hand.
    Photo by Prlshn

    He rejected me. He rejected me. The year started the way it usually does, with energy, plans, and a new side hustle I was genuinely excited about. On the personal side I am still single. Not because I am not trying. But yes:

    S. I. N. G. L. E.

    This Isn’t a Plea for a Boyfriend

    Let me be clear. I am not lonely. I am not stressed about being single. I am not worried about my future without a partner. Do I want to meet someone? Absolutely. But I am not desperate for just anyone. I have done the work for years. I know myself. I understand my emotions. I trust who I am, inside and out. It took thirty nine years, but better late than never.

    Why Rejection Still Stings

    Growth requires patience, consistency, and honesty. So when I meet someone who feels aligned on that level it excites me. I show up fully, expecting them to recognize what I bring. My loving nature. My sense of fun. My independence. My curiosity. My stability. My spark. And then they walk away.

    The Hit of Not Enough

    It hurts. It makes me question myself. It makes me wonder how I can feel like too much and not enough at the same time. Friends try to soften it with the usual lines. They tell me he is an idiot for not seeing my value. They say it is his loss. Maybe that is true. But what we really want is simple. We want the person we chose to choose us back.

    The Classic Excuses

    Here are the lines I have heard more times than I care to count.
    You are amazing, but I am not ready for a relationship.
    I like dating but I cannot commit to one person.
    I am not sure what I want right now.
    My life is too busy.

    Busy? So am I. The difference is that when I am genuinely interested I make time. It is really that simple.

    The Disappointments That Shaped This Year

    Friends who let me down in ways that cut deep. Men who only pretended to be grown. Good men who felt promising but could not offer any real depth. It all stung.

    What I Choose Anyway

    Here is what I will not do. I will not allow disappointment to harden me. I will not let rejection distort my spirit. I will not close myself off. I will not compare the next man to the last one. I will not allow hurt to turn into desperation.

    Here is what I will keep doing. I will keep loving. I will keep giving. I will keep wishing. I will trust my intuition. I will believe in possibilities. I will continue writing my truth.

    — B. (@sexinthe6ixblog)

    Take the Wheel on Your Dating Life: A Guide for Women

    Photo by Polina Sirotina

    How I Learned About Dating

    I started dreaming about dating long before I was old enough to do it. I began at sixteen, and over the next five years I experienced my share of relationships. Each one taught me something about myself and helped me understand what I truly want out of life. From jocks to nerds and yes, even the British boys (note: stay far away from them), dating has been an adventure in self-discovery.

    Stop Projecting Your Expectations

    Most of us walk into relationships imagining the perfect life with someone special. We create an entire future in our minds and quietly project that expectation onto the other person. We forget that they are individuals with their own desires, their own timing, and their own path. Expecting someone to fulfill your vision of perfect will only lead to disappointment.

    Dating Isn’t About Marriage

    Society and media pressure us to have everything figured out by twenty-two. The truth is that most of us are still discovering who we are. I used to treat dating as a direct path to marriage, which made everything feel heavy and complicated. Eventually I realized dating isn’t an obstacle course. It’s exploration. It’s curiosity. It’s connection.

    When you stop dating only for marriage, your dating pool expands. You meet people you never would have considered, people who don’t fit the mold you imagined but still bring laughter, support, and presence into your life.

    Focus on What Really Matters

    Dating is not about money, looks, or social status. It’s about shared experience, emotional connection, and mutual respect. The superficial markers we glamorize rarely create anything lasting.

    Ask yourself why you are attracted to someone. In my last failed relationship, I was drawn to a man simply because he was cute and British. I imagined a life with him before understanding his own goals or his heart. That mistake is more common than we admit.

    Women, Take Control of Your Dating Life

    As women, we often forget how much power we have. With a few swipes we can meet new people, explore possibilities, and shape the kind of romantic life we want. Fear of judgment or slut shaming should never limit our choices or our curiosity.

    When you stop dating only to settle down, you become more liberated and more honest with yourself. You get clearer about your desires, your standards, and what brings you joy both in a partner and in your life.

    What Dating Has Taught Me

    I learned to stop projecting unrealistic expectations onto partners. I learned dating isn’t only for marriage but for self-discovery. I learned to value emotional connection above superficial traits. I learned to embrace the power I have as a woman to explore, choose, and learn. And I learned that every relationship teaches me something about myself.

    Dating is a journey of discovery, laughter, curiosity, and learning — not a checklist created to meet someone else’s expectations. Take the wheel, and enjoy the ride.

    ~ Kaitlyn [@kat.malonee]

    57 Days: A Love Story Practicing Presence and Emotional Growth in Marriage

    Couple holding each other in warm golden light inside their living room, capturing emotional intimacy and everyday connection in marriage.
    Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev

    The Miracle of Everyday Moments

    It’s 8pm, and I feel like I’ve taken my first breath of the day. My body relaxes into the couch while my husband—who loves food almost as much as he loves me—is in the kitchen cooking a special Shabbat dinner.

    I glance at one of my plants (yes, I’ve become obsessed since COVID) and gasp at a new sprout. Tears well up immediately.

    “You see how not present I am,” I say out loud.

    My husband sits beside me. “What if you could just appreciate the beauty instead of making yourself wrong?” he says.

    Gratitude flows. Presence is learned in these small, everyday miracles.

    Emotional Highs and Lows in Marriage

    And then he takes a loud gulp from my water glass, and suddenly I can’t stand him.

    This perfectly sums up the past 57 days—emotional intensity, love, frustration, and growth, all rolled into one. These experiences have pushed me to explore new forms of emotional expression, moving beyond my brain and into my body. There has been growing, shifting, shaking, and leaning into discomfort. I’ve allowed myself to feel emotions I once labeled as “bad,” trying for years to be perfect—whatever that even means.

    Irritability and Relationship Challenges

    Irritability has been real. My loving, supportive, perfect husband has been driving me crazy. We’re spending more time together than ever and navigating uncharted territory as a couple.

    At first, I wondered whether something was wrong.

    Then I came across a post by @lindsayellenrein:

    “The goal here is not to change each other,” her therapist said. “The goal is to tolerate your differences.”

    I burst into tears.

    Accepting Differences in Marriage

    I’m learning to see every part of my husband—the parts I adore and the parts that frustrate me. These differences, while challenging, are not obstacles. They are part of the growth process.

    By acknowledging our differences while honoring our shared values, we practice compassion, respect, emotional resilience, and constructive communication. This awareness has shifted my perspective from viewing conflict as something “wrong” to seeing it as an opportunity for growth—individually and as a couple.

    The Journey of Love and Growth

    We are learning to hold space for our differences while moving forward together. These differences make us who we are—the people we fell in love with and the partners we chose.

    Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll share the specific challenges we’re navigating and a step-by-step guide for processing differences in your own relationship.

    Until then, I breathe, practice compassion, cry, and probably order more plants.

    ~ @fromloafttolifter

    How to Smash Your Big Audacious Goals: A Step-by-Step Guide

    Photo by Ogproductionz

    Why Most People Don’t Chase Big Dreams

    Have you ever dreamed so big that it felt impossible, so you brushed it off and continued with your life? I get it. I’ve been there. I watched others turn their audacious dreams into reality while I stayed stuck, avoiding my goals because I didn’t know where to begin. Ignoring the dreams that mattered to me only left me frustrated, unfulfilled, and miserable.

    I didn’t want to settle like I saw others around me. I wanted to take the path less traveled and see what it would take to reach the extraordinary rewards waiting at the end.

    Pursuing big goals isn’t easy. It means falling down and getting back up, navigating trial and error, and pushing through self-doubt. But if you keep moving forward, you will eventually reach the finish line — and often go even further than you imagined.

    How Sharing Your Goals Makes Them More Achievable

    One game-changing discovery I made was the power of manifesting and sharing my goals. Every person I interacted with had ideas, insights, and resources I hadn’t considered.

    When I shared my big audacious goals, I was enrolling others in my journey. They cheered me on, offered support, and opened doors I didn’t know existed. The more I shared, the more possible paths appeared — and the closer my goals became.

    This is one of the most overlooked ways to achieve big dreams:
    Make your goals visible. Invite others into the process. Let your vision expand through connection.

    Why Achieving Big Goals Requires Consistency and Curiosity

    Your big audacious goals can be even bigger than you think. The key is to keep going. Don’t stop when you reach one goal; move onto the next. Take paths less traveled and embrace the unknown. Keep discovering, experimenting, and smashing the goals that matter to you.

    When you allow yourself to stay curious and follow your instincts, you naturally build momentum. That momentum becomes discipline — and discipline is what carries you through the days you don’t feel motivated.

    Choosing Yourself Is the First Step Toward Any Big Goal

    Ultimately, pursuing big goals is about choosing yourself. Choose what fills you up. Choose what matters most. Choose what makes you happy. Choose acceptance. Choose to care about yourself enough to give yourself the life you’ve imagined.

    When you choose yourself, everything else — the goals, the vision, the path — becomes clearer. You deserve a life that excites you. You deserve a life that reflects your courage. You deserve the dreams you keep returning to.

    Love always,
    Amberly
    @ambersabourin

    How To Reset Your Mind Each Morning

    Woman sitting in a yellow chair against a soft blue backdrop, looking calm and reflective, representing daily positive mindset practices.
    Photo by Lany-Jade Mondou

    Why Our Brains Lean Negative

    Our brains are naturally wired to lean toward the negative. It’s almost like an internal temperature gauge set low by default. What moves that temperature up or down is usually our surroundings and daily influences. You’ve probably noticed how the same situation hits people differently. Some brush things off. Some laugh it away. And others spiral.

    It’s proof that mindset is deeply shaped by environment, energy, and the people you allow close. You’ve heard the saying: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” It’s cliché only because it’s true.

    How to Build a Consistently Positive Mindset

    A positive mindset isn’t an emotion. It’s a discipline. A lifestyle. A structure you commit to. It shows up in the people you spend time with, the habits you repeat, the practices you return to every morning, and the thoughts you choose to challenge. You don’t have to abandon your friendships, but you do have to prioritize relationships that lift you higher. Your mind becomes what you feed it.

    1. Practice Daily Gratitude

    Choose a moment each day—morning, night, or both—to write down at least three things you’re grateful for. This small ritual shifts your awareness toward what’s working, rather than what’s missing.

    2. Meditate for Mindful Awareness

    A morning meditation grounds your day: sit quietly and focus on the great things you intend to accomplish. In the evening, reflect on the good that tomorrow will bring and what you want to achieve. Five minutes is enough to reset your internal state.

    3. Move Your Body Every Day

    Movement releases endorphins and elevates your mental state. A walk, yoga flow, or gym session—thirty minutes a day can transform how you feel. The body leads the mind more than we admit.

    4. Challenge Negative Thoughts

    When negativity shows up, pause and force yourself to name at least one positive truth about the situation. There is always one. Even in hard moments. Training your brain to look for possibility rewires your mindset over time.

    5. Read to Grow Your Mind

    Feed your mind with content that expands your perspective. Whether it’s knowledge, self-development, or a motivational book, reading strengthens your mental resilience and reshapes your inner dialogue.

    A Positive Mindset Is Built, Not Born

    Positivity is a daily practice. Surround yourself with people who add warmth to your world. Challenge the thoughts that keep you stuck. And commit to small habits that raise your emotional and mental temperature every single day.

    Stay positive, my loves.
    Want to keep this conversation going? You can always find me on Instagram: @ambersabourin.


    Much love,
    Amberly

    5 Ways to Crush Your Goals and Make Your Dreams Come True

    Why Most People Struggle With Big Dreams

    You know those dreams so far out of reach that you can’t even imagine a path to achieve them? You try things over and over again, hoping something will work, but it never does. I’ve been there—and this guide is for you.

    Step 1: Create a Vision Board That Inspires You

    Start with a vision board as big as your dreams. Include everything you could ever want—financial goals, career milestones, personal achievements—even reading 10 books!

    • Do it annually to map out the year ahead.
    • Add a “but why” statement for each dream to clarify your passion and motivation.
    • Place it somewhere visible to remind yourself daily why you’re pursuing these goals.

    Your vision board becomes the anchor for your daily actions and long-term goals.

    Step 2: Set a Timeline for Each Goal

    Assess each area of your vision board and create a realistic yet ambitious timeline.

    • Some goals may take a year; others 5–10 years, like a dream home or career.
    • Balance being reasonable and unreasonable—don’t limit yourself with doubts, but don’t set impossible deadlines either.
    • Trust your instincts and push yourself beyond comfort zones.

    Step 3: Start With Your Most Passionate Goal

    Choose the goal that makes your “but why” statement ignite your soul.

    • Prioritize something achievable in the near term that can kickstart momentum for other goals.
    • Focus your energy on actions that bring immediate progress and motivation.

    Step 4: Plan Every Detail

    Planning is the second most important step.

    • Put everything in your calendar.
    • Make your plan foolproof, realistic, and ambitious.
    • Break down each goal into actionable steps so you can work your plan effectively and confidently.

    A solid plan turns your dreams into achievable goals.

    Step 5: Work the Plan Relentlessly

    This is the most critical step: put in the work.

    • Goals don’t manifest on their own—you must take consistent action.
    • Treat your calendar commitments as promises to yourself.
    • Expect setbacks, but use them to improve your plan and keep moving forward.

    Persistence and accountability are the keys to turning dreams into reality.

    If you follow these 5 steps, you’ll be well on your way to crushing your goals and making your dreams come true. Remember: plan meticulously, act relentlessly, and stay inspired by the vision you’ve created.

    Much love,
    Amberly

    @ambersabourin

    Getting Through a Breakup: How I Survived Heartbreak and Learned to Love Myself Again

    Breakups. One of the most painful experiences we face.
    It’s the gut-wrenching feeling of watching the life you thought you knew slip away.

    I know heartbreak all too well. For privacy, let’s call this most recent guy London.

    London and I were in a long-distance relationship—he was in England, I was in America. We decided to make it work. I started saving money so he could move here. He started looking at apartments… and, as I would later find out, other women.

    The relationship ended when I discovered he had cheated on me several times in one weekend. He blamed the ketamine. I blamed myself.

    The Pain That Comes in Waves

    About a month after the breakup—two weeks into self-quarantine—I was having my nightly Sex and the City binge when an Instagram ad popped up for the exact phone case London had. It wasn’t popular in America, so I brushed it off as an odd coincidence… until our song started playing in the background.

    As “Try a Little Tenderness” played, my mind whispered the thing I hated most: What if this is a sign we’ll get back together?

    That’s the dangerous part of a breakup—you start romanticizing the good memories and ignoring the truth. You hyper-focus on the wonderful times, the positive impact, and try to make sense of how something so perfect could go so wrong.

    The hurt came in waves. One day, I thought, You’re over him. The next, a simple phone case sent me crashing back to square one.

    Why You Need to “Emotionally Throw Up”

    Breakups are messy and unpredictable, just like the emotions they unleash.
    We often try to distract ourselves from the pain, but my mom once told me something I’ll never forget:

    “The body never does anything to hurt itself.”

    Think about throwing up. Nobody enjoys it, but afterward, you feel better. If we don’t resist the physical urge to throw up, why do we resist emotionally purging our feelings?

    Instead of forcing yourself to “move on” before you’re ready, admit when you’re not okay. Only then can you begin to heal.

    Giving Yourself Time to Heal

    Healing after a breakup isn’t instant. You wouldn’t break your leg and expect to run marathons in a week—so don’t expect your heart to work that way either.

    This is the time to reconnect with yourself. Think about the things you wanted to do while in the relationship but never made time for. Start exploring what brings you joy without worrying about anyone else’s opinion.

    Some ideas:

    • Make yourself coffee and finally read that book you’ve been putting off.
    • Try yoga, meditation, or stretching in the mornings.
    • Bake that cake you’ve been thinking about.
    • Start journaling your thoughts, even if they’re messy.

    The Most Important Relationship Is With Yourself

    Relationships come and go—and one day, quarantine will too. But the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.

    Holding on to toxic emotions only hurts you in the long run. Take this time to rebuild, piece by piece, into someone who feels whole on her own.
    You are not defined by who stayed or who left.
    You are defined by how fiercely you choose to show up for yourself when no one else does.

    Dear Breasts

    Today Is A Defining

    Moment

    Dear Breasts: A Love Letter to My Body

    Never Apologize for Being Authentically You

    "Never apologize for being authentically you. I know it’s tough, but you are one of a kind and there’s beauty in every small imperfection."

    I flash back to being 11 years old, standing in a department store with my mom, sorting through training bras. My face burned with embarrassment, and I felt exposed in ways I didn’t understand at the time.

    Black girl with curly hair wearing a black shirt, confidently posing and embracing her natural body.
    Photo courtesy of Chanelle Hicks — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    The Roller Coaster of Self-Acceptance

    Over the years, my relationship with my breasts has been anything but simple. I wished I could wave a magic wand to change their appearance. I envied the girls with smaller breasts, wanted to feel dainty, and often felt awkward in my curvy body.

    I wanted to hide away because unwanted attention from older men made me feel unsafe and anxious.

    A Defining Moment in High School

    In high school, the struggle intensified. Most of my friends were small-breasted, and I felt out of place as the curvy girl. One day, wearing a white v-neck, I was pulled aside by a school administrator and told my shirt violated dress code.

    I was frustrated and confused, but my anger revealed something important: this wasn’t about me—it was about others’ entitlement over MY body.

    From that moment:

    • I decided to celebrate my natural breasts.
    • I refused to hide or apologize for my body.
    • I stood proud, despite magazine “rules” or stares from others.

    The next day, I wore the v-neck again, even got sent to the dean’s office, and was suspended—but instead of embarrassment, I felt proud and empowered.

    Embracing My Body Today

    Now at 25, I’m thankful for the relationship I’ve built with my body:

    • Laying around the house bra-free feels freeing.
    • I celebrate my breasts’ natural asymmetry—they’re sisters, not clones.
    • I feel powerful and sexy after getting my nipples pierced, for ME.

    My breasts remind me of the power and resilience of the human body. Their rise and fall with every breath is a reminder: I’m still here, still moving forward, still thriving.

    Black girl lifting her shirt to show her body, celebrating body confidence and self-acceptance.
    Photo courtesy of Chanelle Hicks — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    A Message to Young Women

    To the young girls and women reading this:

    • Never apologize for being authentically you.
    • Celebrate every small imperfection.
    • Your body fights for you every day—be kind to it.
    • You are a powerhouse, beautiful exactly as you are, and do not change for anyone.
    Black woman wearing a feminist shirt with a visible nipple piercing, confidently expressing body positivity and self-acceptance.
    Photo courtesy of Chanelle Hicks — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Owning Your Body, Loving Yourself

    Celebrating your body and its curves is an act of self-love and empowerment. There is no shame in your natural body. I love my breasts and my body wholeheartedly—and so should you.

    Black girl in a dress, showcasing her natural curves and expressing body positivity.
    Photo courtesy of Chanelle Hicks — Going Bare. No makeup. Unfiltered beauty

    Follow Chenelle Hicks for more inspiration: @nellehicks

    How to Cultivate Self-Love: 5 Powerful Ways to Nourish Your Inner Beauty

    The Radiance of True Beauty

    What makes a human being beautiful?
    There’s an undeniable radiance some people carry—a certain je ne sais quoi that turns heads without a single word. This kind of beauty isn’t about meeting narrow physical standards or having an exact waist-to-hip ratio.

    It’s something deeper.
    It’s cultivated through fierce dedication to self-love.
    It’s the glow that comes from inner beauty.

    When we nourish ourselves with love, beauty blooms from the inside out. This transformation is intentional—it’s a conscious decision to evolve. And when we do, life opens up with abundance, joy, and a magnetic energy that others can’t help but notice.

    So, how exactly do we consciously cultivate self-love? It starts with self-care—but not just the surface-level kind. Self-care is deeply personal, and while bubble baths, face masks, and candles can absolutely be part of it, sometimes it’s about screaming into a pillow and letting the tears flow.

    Here are five powerful ways to start cultivating self-love and radiating beauty from within.

    1. Get Inspired and Cultivate Your Creativity

    Every single person carries creative energy within. You don’t need to paint a masterpiece to be an artist—creativity shows up in countless ways.

    It could be experimenting with spices in your pantry to invent a new soup. It might be gathering wildflowers for a rustic bouquet. It could be styling an outfit that makes you feel alive.

    The goal? Enter that flow state where time disappears. The more you express your creativity, the more vibrantly your outer world reflects your inner beauty.

    2. Feed Yourself to Feed Your Soul

    What we eat is a direct message to ourselves: I care about you.

    Nourishing foods give us physical vitality and emotional resilience. Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole foods—these choices act as medicine. And while coffee might be a beloved ritual, leaning on it for every energy dip can drain your adrenals over time.

    Instead, explore natural boosts like maca, cacao, or functional mushrooms. When you’re well-nourished, your body can better reflect your inner radiance.

    3. Speak to Yourself Like a Best Friend

    Our self-talk shapes how we feel and who we become. Imagine speaking to your closest friend the way you speak to yourself—would they still want to be around you?

    Shift your inner dialogue to kindness and encouragement. Treat yourself with the same patience, humor, and warmth you’d offer someone you love. You are the one person who will be by your side for life—make that relationship beautiful.

    4. Nurture Your Body with Love

    Yes, this is where the bubble baths and candles come in. Sensory self-care sends a powerful message: I deserve this.

    Light a candle with intention, take a steamy shower, or sink into a warm bath. Lather up with your favorite creams, oils, or soaps. Allow your senses to soak in the luxury of the moment—you’re worth it.

    5. Take Care of Your Gut (and Your Mood)

    Your gut produces about 95% of your serotonin—the neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood and happiness.

    Caring for your digestive system can dramatically impact how you feel. Whether it’s increasing fiber, trying a gentle cleanse, or simply eating more probiotic-rich foods, a healthy gut is foundational to emotional well-being.

    The Practice of Self-Love

    Building self-love is a daily practice. Old beliefs may resist at first, and new habits can feel awkward. But with consistency, self-care becomes second nature—and the reward is undeniable.

    The more you care for yourself, the brighter your inner light will shine. And that, more than anything, is the essence of beauty.

    Can You Afford to Eat Organic? My Grocery Store Experiment

    Is Organic Food Always More Expensive?

    Have you ever wondered if eating organic could fit into your budget? The common belief is that organic food costs more than conventional produce—but is that really true?

    Instead of relying on websites or secondhand reports, I decided to investigate for myself by visiting six supermarkets in my area and conducting some hands-on research.

    Before sharing my findings, ask yourself:

    1. If organic produce was only slightly more expensive than conventional, would I make the switch?
    2. What cost or convenience factors would make me choose organic over conventional?
    3. Am I aware of the health and environmental benefits of eating organic fruits and vegetables?

    My Journey to Organic Eating

    Organic California bananas on a kitchen counter with ripe tomatoes in the background — fresh local produce and healthy eating concept.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE

    I’ve been eating organic fruits and vegetables for over a year now. My transition wasn’t fueled by a lucky promotion—it started when I joined a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program.

    The convenience of having fresh veggies delivered every Wednesday fit perfectly into my busy schedule. Paying a fixed price of $34 per week for my basket, I realized I had no idea how much this basket would cost at a grocery store. So I decided to investigate.

    The Experiment: Organic vs Conventional Produce

    Goal: Compare the cost of my weekly vegetable basket if purchased conventionally versus organically.

    Method: Visit six grocery stores (three conventional, three health food stores) and record the price of each item. I made sure to:

    • Select the exact type of produce (apples, pears, etc.)
    • Record sale prices if available
    • Note local vs imported variations

    Findings:

    • Conventional basket prices: $18 – $26
    • Organic basket prices: $26 – $29

    Some surprises:

    • Local apples were cheaper than imported apples.
    • Local yellow peppers were more expensive than Mexican peppers.
    • Some health food stores charged more than Whole Foods for the same vegetables.

    Does Eating Organic Break the Bank?

    The answer: Not necessarily.

    Being a smart grocery shopper makes a huge difference. Prices vary based on:

    • Local vs imported produce
    • Seasonal availability
    • Sales and promotions

    Organic produce is more accessible today than it was 5–10 years ago, and small-scale research like mine shows it can be affordable depending on where and how you shop.

    What I Learned About Eating Organic on a Budget

    This week of research helped me challenge old assumptions:

    • Organic produce doesn’t always cost more than conventional.
    • Organic produce can sometimes be cheaper than its conventional counterpart.

    Keep in mind: prices vary by region. My findings are based on supermarkets in the Toronto area, and results could be different elsewhere.

    The key takeaway: eating organic can fit your budget if you plan, compare, and shop smart. With increased accessibility, organic eating could become the norm—not just for the wealthy, but for anyone willing to make informed choices.

    Food for thought: you can also grow your own fruit right in your backyard if you have the space. Nothing beats a beautiful banana from your own garden.

    California banana tree with fresh ripe bananas hanging outdoors — tropical fruit growing in warm California climate.
    Photo: Karlo Gomez / OBARE

    Facing Anxiety: A Personal Story of Panic, Dreams, and Seeking Help

    When Anxiety Feels Like a Flood

    @jwhitak85 almost drowned last night. Waves from the ocean crashed into our house. Faceless friends ran up and down the stairs seeking shelter, and from my balcony, I could see massive waves rise above the home.

    Inside, the water moved smooth and slow, like a silky bedsheet covering each corner. Each time the waves outside pulled back, the water inside drained slightly—but with every slam, it rose higher, nearly covering me from head to toe. Panic gripped me.

    And then my alarm went off. I reached blindly for my wife, and sleep quickly pulled me back into the dream, repeating the flooding house over and over.

    The Reality of Anxiety-Ridden Dreams

    The panic didn’t last long once I fully woke. Over time, I’ve come to peace with these anxiety dreams, though they leave lingering tension—a low vibration under my skin. It’s always there, present but not usually disruptive of daily life.

    A therapist once called it exactly what it felt like: Anxious Brain (AB).

    Meeting My Anxious Brain Head-On

    In therapy, we gave it a name and began responding:

    • When AB told me I didn’t deserve to be a leader at work, we reminded ourselves of my 10 years of hard work.
    • When AB said I wasn’t good enough for my spouse, we listed all the ways I am a loving and supportive partner.
    • When AB told me I was failing my friends, my child, or my dreams, we countered with facts, encouragement, and self-love.

    We fought back—until it didn’t seem to work anymore.

    When Life Becomes Too Much

    Stress, work, family, motherhood, finances, brain chemistry—these could all be blamed. But what mattered most was the constant dread that wouldn’t drain, like the water in my dream.

    I spiraled in thoughts during meetings, traffic, bedtime routines. I feared failing at everything I once loved. Focus and joy slipped away.

    Seeking Professional Help for Anxiety and Panic

    Eventually, I called a psychiatrist and started medication. Three new pills, a plan for a calmer future, and support from professionals gave me hope.

    If you’re in this place—or anywhere near it—please seek help. Not ready for a professional? Lean on a friend or family member. You are not alone.

    There’s no shame in seeking help for mental health: therapy, meditation, exercise, medications—whatever works for you matters. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

    Breathing Exercise to Calm Anxiety

    Here’s a simple breathing exercise that can help when panic or anxious thoughts take over:

    1. Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 counts.
    2. Hold your breath for 4 counts.
    3. Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 counts.
    4. Repeat for 3–5 minutes, focusing on the rhythm of your breath.

    This can help ground you, slow your racing thoughts, and calm your nervous system.

    You Are Not Alone

    Beautiful Girl, the world needs you. You are more than your mental health struggles. With support, self-care, and professional help, we can navigate anxiety together.

    How I Escaped a Toxic Relationship and Chose Myself

    Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride

    In my early 20s, I was always a bridesmaid, but never a bride. My romantic relationship was so toxic that my friends wouldn’t even allow him at their weddings. I longed for the love I saw around me, yet I kept choosing a manipulative man and falling into a cycle of abuse.

    He lied, cheated, ignored my calls and texts, called me names, broke my cell phone, threw my belongings off our balcony, and even locked me out of our apartment. For years, I believed him when he told me it was my fault.

    The Moment I Knew I Had to Leave

    One morning, while blow-drying my hair, he appeared around the corner with scissors. I was terrified. He screamed at me, grabbed the dryer, and cut the cord.

    Later that day, at a bridal shower, after a few glasses of bubbly, I confided in my best friends that I felt trapped and helpless. With their love and support, we kicked off our heels, left the shower, and stormed up to my apartment. Together, we packed my belongings into their cars.

    It was over. Don’t ever mess with a girl’s blow dryer!

    Rebuilding Love and Self-Worth

    Rebuilding my story around love took time and dedication. But in that moment, I raised my standards instantly.

    I beg you to:

    • Trust your gut
    • See your worth
    • Leave an abusive relationship

    Will I ever be a bride? Yes, if I choose. And you have that choice too.

    Why Women Are Choosing Themselves First

    Women are asked why we marry later in life. My theory: we think for ourselves. We listen to our hearts, use our voices, and no longer conform to outdated gender roles.

    Having the right to choose allows us to select partners who are healthy and loving. Your left-hand ring finger does not define you. Your wisdom, boundaries, and choices do.

    Help and Resources for Abusive Relationships

    If you are in an abusive relationship, you are not alone. Please reach out for help:

    National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

    How to Be Your Own Best Friend and Cultivate Self-Love

    A Morning of Gratitude and Connection

    We greeted each other with love in the muted darkness of 6 a.m. We stared into each other’s eyes and exchanged deep, authentic compliments. On our stroll to Ojai’s hipster-est coffee shop, I couldn’t help but notice—damn, this girl is sexy.

    I felt a little red with shame at the thought, but quickly reminded myself: I’m only human, and this girl deserves to be acknowledged—for her lake-blue eyes, her bangin’ eyebrows, and her voluptuous figure. The confidence in her sway was enough to make heads turn.

    We talked about silly things, deep things, sad things, and laughed at absurdities—but mostly, we walked in silence, relishing sweet nothingness and the crisp, bright air of early spring.

    Gratitude Starts With Yourself

    I am so grateful to have her as a best friend, I thought repeatedly. But I am even more grateful to call myself my best friend.

    To gaze into my own eyes, compliment myself, notice what I love about myself, and shut down the negative chatter. I know I will be with myself for the whole journey of life, so I better make this relationship a damn good one.

    Shutting Down Negative Self-Talk

    Being your own best friend is a journey. The first—and hardest—step is silencing the negative self-talk we learn early on.

    Imagine saying to your friends what you say to yourself:
    "Wow, what a waste of a cute dress. Your skin looks terrible. Have you gained a couple of pounds? Cover that up. It’s too bad you don’t have the personality to make up for your looks."

    Yeeeah…you wouldn’t have friends after that. But these are the words we often say to ourselves every day. No matter who you are, you don’t deserve that treatment from anyone—especially yourself.

    Speak to Yourself With Love and Kindness

    Say to yourself what you would say to the person you love the most. Say the things you would say to your pets. Say the words you needed to hear when you were young and didn’t.

    Give yourself compliments every single day. Recognize your beauty, your humor, your strength, and your confidence.

    Self-Love in Action

    Being your own best friend isn’t just about self-talk—but it’s a good 90% of the battle. From there, flows a fulfilling relationship with yourself:

    • Practice self-care
    • Do what brings you joy
    • Celebrate your body and desires

    Your relationship with yourself sets the foundation for your happiness, confidence, and fulfillment in life.

    The Power of Perspective: A Mindfulness Practice for Emotional Resilience

    Why Perspective Shapes Emotional Resilience

    I am admittedly quick to both anger and anxiety. It’s something I’ve been working on for most of my life. I started writing as soon as I could write, added yoga at 8, meditation at 14, and spiritual exploration at 18. Even now, I continue exploring—not just spirituality, but the resilience of the soul.

    The Value of Complex Simplicity in Self-Growth

    Over the years, I’ve tried countless methods and practices, and one truth has become clear: there is profound value in complex simplicity. One of my favorite tools comes from a question I learned in The Tablets of Life by Danielle R. Hoffman:

    “What is right about what is not right, right now?”

    Transforming Perspective Through Energy Awareness

    At first, it seems almost impossible. But when you view it through the lens of energy, it starts to make sense. Every person, situation, and thing contains both perfection and imperfection simultaneously. Energy, which cannot be created or destroyed, inherently holds both because it has infinite potential to transform.

    A Practice for Inner Transformation

    So I ask you: what is right about what is not right in your life, right now? If you can identify what is going right—even amidst chaos—you move forward with confidence, knowing that you can transform the rest.

    The Paradox of Perspective and Transformation

    It’s a paradox: the shift happens entirely within your perspective. With hope and gratitude, you begin to see the world with clarity and optimism.

    How Mindfulness Builds Emotional Resilience

    The beauty of this practice is that your transformation doesn’t require external circumstances. The chaos around you becomes irrelevant because your happiness comes from within. That old adage—“everything you need is within you”—is surprisingly true.

    Overcoming Negativity Through Mindfulness

    This shift may feel simple, but life often makes it seem impossible. Daily stressors and mental chatter can make you feel trapped in a storm. Falling back on this question has dramatically shortened the time it takes me to pull myself out of negative mental loops.

    The Soul’s Strength: Resilience as the Path to Joy

    I don’t know if there’s a magical point where we’re immune to negativity—maybe that’s nirvana. What I do know is that the more you practice pulling yourself out, the more resilient your soul becomes. And resilience is everything: the stronger your soul, the more love, joy, and happiness it can hold.

    Cholesterol Myths Busted: What You Really Need to Know About Heart Health

    Are You Confused About Cholesterol?

    The media obsession over cholesterol has left many of us unsure about what’s true. Let’s break down some common myths and uncover the science behind this vital molecule.

    Myth #1: All Cholesterol Is the Same

    Cholesterol is more than just a number in your blood. It plays a crucial role in your cells and nervous system. Instead of focusing on quantity, it’s the type of cholesterol—“good” HDL or “bad” LDL—that really matters. Your body’s function depends on this balance.

    Myth #2: Cholesterol Is the Enemy

    For decades, cholesterol has been labeled the “bad guy,” leading to the rise of margarine and low-fat trends. But cholesterol is essential for producing sex hormones, vitamin D, and bile for digesting fats. Research shows that inflammation and other factors are more accurate markers for heart disease than cholesterol alone.

    Myth #3: Eating Cholesterol Raises Your Blood Levels

    Most cholesterol in your blood is produced by your liver. Your diet can influence liver production, but what you eat isn’t the sole determinant of your blood cholesterol. A sluggish liver may contribute to dysregulated cholesterol levels, which is why nutrition protocols often focus on supporting liver function.

    Myth #4: Lower Cholesterol Is Always Better

    Extremely low cholesterol can lead to neurological issues because your nervous system relies on cholesterol for proper structure and function. Balance, not extremes, is the key.

    Myth #5: Medications Are the Only Solution

    Statins can lower LDL cholesterol but may not effectively raise HDL. Medications also come with side effects. Lifestyle changes—like eating 8–10 servings of fruits and vegetables daily, improving fat quality, and exercising—can significantly impact cholesterol levels. Always consult your doctor before adjusting any prescribed medication.

    How to Support Heart Health Naturally

    • Prioritize a variety of colorful fruits and vegetables.
    • Replace processed fats with healthy fats like olive oil, avocado, and nuts.
    • Exercise regularly to boost HDL cholesterol.
    • Support liver function with nutrient-rich foods and hydration.

    Bottom Line

    Heart health and cholesterol are complex, and science is still uncovering the full picture. In the meantime, you can take actionable steps with nutrition, lifestyle, and liver care to support balanced cholesterol levels and overall wellness.

    How I Learned to Love My Body: Embracing Every Inch with Pride

    (Editorial originally published on March 9 2020)

    The Body I’ve Always Loved

    For as long as I can remember, I’ve cherished certain features—my perfectly shaped eyebrows, glowing eyes, and smile. Yet, like many of us, I’ve also struggled with insecurities: acne, saggy boobs, thick thighs, a pouched stomach, and “man hands.”

    Everything shifted about a year ago. I realized I am the author of my body. I choose every day how I look, head to toe. And here’s the revelation: I can love my body exactly as it is, even while making changes I desire.

    Loving My Body, Imperfections and All

    Today, I embrace my body fully, at my heaviest weight, with pride:

    • Acne: A reminder of my IUD, regulating my period.
    • Curves: Defining my unique figure.
    • Saggy boobs: Perfect because I don’t wear a bra.
    • Thick thighs & calves: Built from childhood dancing and teen soccer.
    • Pouched stomach: Symbol of my love for food—unashamed.
    • Man hands: A tribute to my mother’s strength and resilience.

    Every inch tells a story. Your body is a canvas, and every day you can either preserve it or add to it—cover lines, enhance curves, and change perspectives.

    You Are the Artist of Your Body

    Love it. Nurture it. Talk to it. Feed it. Feel it. Your body protects your mind and soul—treat it as the masterpiece it is. Self-expression flows through your body:

    • Some days, sweats, UGGs, no makeup, hair up.
    • Other days, polished, runway-ready, hair and makeup on point.
    • Some days, a mix of casual and chic.

    No matter the outfit, carry yourself with pride, love, and gratitude.

    Confidence in Vulnerability

    The ultimate moment of self-love? Naked in front of a partner. This is when I feel most proud: every inch of me authored, sexy, and confident. Loving yourself is magnetic—when you know your worth, it radiates to the world.

    Glow Through Self-Love

    Self-love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a way of walking through life. When you fully embrace your body, you glow. Every choice, every outfit, every movement becomes an expression of your pride and authenticity.

    Let’s inspire each other to embrace every inch of ourselves.

    @ambersabourin.

    How to Sleep Better: Tips for Restful Nights and High-Quality Sleep

    Why Sleep Quality Matters More Than You Think

    Our quality of sleep has a major impact on daily function, energy levels, and mental clarity. Sleep isn’t just important for your body—it’s vital for your mind, alertness, and overall health.

    Lack of sleep is no joke. Chronic sleep deprivation can contribute to serious health issues, including diabetes, certain cancers, heart disease, slower metabolism, weight gain, hormone imbalance, and inflammation. Sleep also affects your mood, memory, and decision-making.

    And here’s a kicker: poor sleep may even negate the benefits of your workouts, leaving all that exercise effort less effective.

    How Sleep Supports Your Body and Mind

    Sleep is fundamental for three critical functions:

    1. Detoxifying Your Brain: While awake, your brain accumulates waste. Sleep allows the detoxification process to occur efficiently.
    2. Enhancing Learning and Memory: Your brain consolidates memories and strengthens learning while you sleep.
    3. Recovering Your Immune System: Sleep boosts your body’s natural defense mechanisms, helping you fight infections and recover faster.

    While adults generally need 7–9 hours of sleep per night, the quality of sleep is just as important. Some people, like Buddhist monks, can thrive on as little as 4 hours, highlighting that deep, restorative sleep matters more than total hours.

    Common Sleep Struggles to Ask Yourself

    Ask yourself:

    • Are you having a hard time sleeping through the night?
    • Do you feel like you’re “running on stress hormones” all day?
    • Have you earned the title of “light sleeper”?

    Recognizing your sleep struggles is the first step toward improving your restorative sleep.

    Tips to Improve Your Sleep Quality

    Here are practical strategies to help you catch high-quality Z’s:

    1. Get Sunlight and Exercise During the Day

    Natural light and physical activity signal to your brain that it’s daytime, helping you feel alert now and wind down naturally in the evening.

    2. Stick to a Consistent Sleep Schedule

    Try going to bed and waking up at the same time every day. Weekends may throw you off, but a few weeks of consistency will help your body adapt and improve sleep quality.

    3. Balance Your Blood Sugar

    Eat fiber-rich, unprocessed foods during the day. A small fruit before bed can help your liver regulate blood sugar and prevent nighttime dips.

    4. Limit Caffeine and Added Sugar After Noon

    Even your afternoon chai latte or mochaccino can keep your mind active at night. Cutting these stimulants after 12 PM improves your chances of falling asleep naturally.

    5. Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine

    Start winding down 1 hour before bed. Dim artificial lights, read a book, or take a warm bath with a few drops of lavender essential oil. Establishing a routine signals your body that it’s time to rest.

    Herbal Remedies That Can Support Sleep

    Herbal teas and extracts are gentle ways to promote relaxation:

    • Valerian Root + Lemon Balm Tea (1:1 mixture) – supports relaxation and sleep.
    • Passion Flower – reduces anxiety and encourages restful sleep.

    Tip: Consult a holistic practitioner if you’re taking daily medications before adding herbal remedies.

    Sleep affects virtually every aspect of your health, from mental clarity to physical recovery. By implementing these strategies, you can improve your sleep quality, boost energy, and support long-term health.

    Start small, experiment with routines, and watch yourself catch more restful nights—your mind and body will thank you.

    How to Love Yourself: A Practical Guide to Cultivating Self-Love

    Why Loving Yourself Feels So Hard

    Not long ago, a client came into my office frustrated and asked:

    “I KNOW I need to love myself more, but HOW the hell do I do that?”

    She wasn’t the first, and she certainly won’t be the last.

    As we celebrate a month filled with messages about love, it’s worth asking: what does it truly mean to love oneself?

    I like to think of LOVE as a verb—a set of actions we take to prioritize the best interest of another (or Self). The feeling of love is just the byproduct. Yet, we often confuse the feeling with love itself. Without action, love cannot grow internally.

    Love Is Action: Why Doing Matters

    In couples counseling, I hear partners say they feel a lack of passion. When I ask what they do together, the answer is often: “We don’t have time.”

    Love, like exercise, produces rewarding feelings—but it’s not always easy. Taking steps toward someone else is hard enough, but taking steps toward ourselves can feel even more challenging.

    As women, we’re often taught to take care of others, leaving our own needs neglected. Over time, this can lead to depletion, resentment, and ineffective coping strategies.

    How Well Do You Know Yourself?

    Self-love begins with self-awareness. Using mindfulness—paying non-judgmental attention to thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations—you can listen deeply to your heart’s desires.

    Think of self-love as planting a seed of intention. But like any seed, it needs the right environment to grow:

    • Sunshine: Positive experiences and self-compassion
    • Water: Consistent attention and care
    • Healthy soil: Freedom from negative self-talk, self-sabotage, or neglect

    Ask yourself: Are you creating the conditions for your intention to blossom?

    Self-Discipline as an Act of Self-Love

    Discipline isn’t about punishment—it’s about curious study of the Self. By observing our coping strategies and old habits, we can:

    • Identify patterns that no longer serve us
    • Replace them with nurturing, healthy behaviors
    • Make choices that reflect true self-care, not just temporary relief

    The goal is knowledge and understanding of your needs, beyond bubble baths and scented candles.

    Practical Steps to Cultivate Self-Love

    Here’s how to put self-love into action:

    1. Identify Physical Patterns

    • Write down the physical cues that appear during cravings or stress
    • Recognize how your body signals unmet needs

    2. Create a Nurturing Actions List

    • List 3–10 small acts that make you feel loved and cared for
    • Schedule at least one of these actions today and throughout the week

    3. Monitor Your Focus

    • Observe what you naturally focus on during cravings
    • Choose instead from your nurturing actions list to redirect attention

    4. Rewrite Your Inner Dialogue

    • Identify recurring negative self-talk
    • Write a new story or affirmation to read daily
    • Replace old language patterns with empowering, supportive words

    Putting It All Together

    If love is a verb, what actions can you take to care for yourself? How can you create the best inner environment for your intentions to grow and flourish?

    Self-love is intentional, consistent, and actionable. By cultivating mindfulness, self-discipline, and small nurturing behaviors, you can transform your internal environment into fertile ground for love, growth, and fulfillment.

    How Dance Helps Women Reclaim Their Bodies and Empower Themselves

    Dancing as Embodiment and Liberation

    To go dance is to be fully embodied, and somehow to forget our bodies all at once. Dance allows us to connect with our energy, release judgment, and step into our sacred feminine power.

    A Childhood Witness to Sacred Feminine Energy

    When I was fourteen, my mother began belly dancing. She would return from errands with bags overflowing with hip scarves, beaded hair medallions, zils, and velvet bras dripping with coins.

    Soon, she danced at Moroccan restaurants, fully alive, her hips and tummy folds moving in rhythm with tribal drums. Her body expressed a shakti energy I would come to understand as sacred feminine power.

    I was mesmerized by her troupe—women with white hair falling to their elbows, bodies like mother earth, and the carefree energy of a child. And they all smiled knowingly, proud yet sly. I thought: This is what it means to be a woman.

    Finding My Own Expression Through Dance

    I started dancing too—musical theater, jazz, contemporary—but my truest expression happened alone at home. Feet stomping, hands exploring, eyes closed, I entered a sacred place where:

    • Every cell felt connected
    • The boundary between body and earth blurred
    • Empowerment replaced negative self-talk

    Being present in my body through dance made all critical thoughts about my physical “flaws” vanish, leaving only awe at what my body could do.

    Dance as a Lifelong Practice

    At 30, I can let dance take over even in public, unbothered by body insecurities. I feel more womanly, grounded, and free.

    Recent inspirations—twerking, lap dances, shaking what my belly-dancin’ mama gave me—have deepened my connection to my body. What I once dismissed as “not spiritual” now feels transcendent and empowering.

    The Message for All Women

    I yearn to shout:

    “It’s OK to express yourself! Take what society has shamed you for, and empower yourself with it!”

    If women everywhere danced freely, eyes closed and feet stomping, perhaps we would all learn to embrace our bodies and celebrate what it means to be a woman.

    Who Am I? A Journey of Self-Discovery and Personal Growth

    My Past Identity: Defined by Degrees and Jobs

    Prior to a year ago, I defined myself by the degree I did not have and where I worked. My introductions were carefully sugar-coated to impress others:

    “Hey I’m Amberly, I am a retail manager at a jewelry store. I went to university but it just wasn’t for me… I want to be my own boss and live my dreams.”

    The truth? I felt like a failure. I had dropped out of university three times because I lacked passion for my studies. I called myself stupid and clueless, convinced I was headed nowhere.

    Working as a key holder for Pandora Jewelry, I was ashamed of my retail job—even though it was all I had. I glorified my role while knowing I was capable of much more.

    The Turning Point: Travel and Reflection

    Feeling lost and frustrated with my identity, I quit my job, packed a backpack, and traveled to a new continent with my best friend for two months.

    Coming home, I accepted a promotion—but it wasn’t the missing piece I thought it would be. The real transformation came from introspection and self-discovery, not external titles or roles.

    Who I Am Today: Defined by Goals, Ambitions, and Values

    Today, I define myself by my goals, ambitions, and personal traits:

    “Hi, I’m Amberly, an inspiring and loving woman on a journey to become a public figure. I am motivated to empower others to live a life they truly love.”

    I know what I want from life, who I want in my space, and the kind of partner and family I aspire to create. I am loving, joyful, and intentional in the people, places, and experiences I surround myself with.

    Cultivating Self-Love and Motivation

    I am grounded, whole, and complete. I have dreams, goals, and action plans to make them a reality. I show up for myself daily because I understand what’s at stake if I don’t pursue my vision—my dream life.

    You—the reader—inspire me daily to keep showing up for myself. By seeking the bright side in every situation, no matter how dark it may seem, we create a life full of adventure, beauty, and opportunity.

    Discovering Who You Want to Be

    The key lesson I learned: it wasn’t about discovering who I was—it was about discovering who I wanted to be and committing to becoming that woman.

    Your journey is just as important. Reflect on who you want to become and what it will take to show up for yourself every day.

    Join the Conversation

    I want to know what’s on your mind! Reach out to me on Instagram at @ambersabourin and share your thoughts. Let’s explore this journey of growth together.

    Love always,
    Amberly

    Want to See

    True Fearlessness? Meet the

    Peshmerga Women

    Kurdish Women Warriors: A Legacy of Strength, Courage, and Equality

    A female Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK) fighter stands near a security position in Sinjar, March 13, 2015. REUTERS/Asmaa Waguih
    A female Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK) fighter stands near a security position in Sinjar, March 13, 2015. REUTERS/Asmaa Waguih

    My Kurdish Heritage: Lessons From My Mother

    My mother is an Iranian Kurd through her father’s side. She left Iran during the 1979 Revolution, carrying only the stories of her family and ancestors. From a young age, her father taught her survival skills—shooting rifles at nine, handling scorpions, and respecting nature.

    “Aim and shoot,” she would tell me during a toy rifle game at Knott’s Berry Farm, passing down the lessons of precision and courage.

    Her stories painted a picture of Kurdish ancestors living harmoniously in the mountains, teaching resilience, independence, and a deep appreciation for nature.

    Kurdish Women: Trained in Defense and Empowerment

    Growing up, I admired that my mother and other Middle Eastern women were trained in self-defense—skills often reserved for men. In regions where women’s rights are limited, Kurdish women defy societal norms, proving strength and capability.

    The Rise of ISIS and the Peshmerga Women Soldiers

    In 2014, ISIS made global headlines for brutality: beheading journalists, enslaving women and girls, and enforcing ultra-conservative laws. In response, Kurdish Peshmerga women soldiers emerged as a formidable force on the front lines in Iraq and Syria.

    The name “Peshmerga” translates to “those who face death,” and it’s estimated that 30–40% of combatants in Kurdistan are women. They fight alongside men, shoulder to shoulder, demonstrating that women are just as capable in combat, earning respect and fear from their enemies.

    Gender Equality Through Action

    Kurdish women soldiers don’t just fight; they promote gender equality by example. While men and women sleep in separate camps, training and combat are often shared, fostering respect and equality.

    Their impact is profound: Kurdish men learn to respect women who can fight, changing societal attitudes in a region where gender equality is desperately needed.

    Stories of Courage and Sacrifice

    Two powerful examples illustrate the bravery of Kurdish women:

    • Joanna Palani, an Iranian Kurd from Copenhagen, studied politics and philosophy before leaving her home to fight for the Peshmerga. Like my mother, she fired her first rifle at age nine.
    • Asia Ramazan Antar, dubbed the “Kurdish Angelina Jolie,” became a symbol of the feminist struggle at just 19. She joined the YPJ at 16, defending villages against ISIS and expertly wielding a Russian-made KM machine gun. Tragically, she died stopping an attack by three suicide car bombers.

    These women fight not for fame, but for homeland, justice, and survival, challenging patriarchal norms and inspiring generations.

    Fighting ISIS and Patriarchy

    For ISIS fighters, dying at the hands of a woman is considered humiliating according to Sharia law. Kurdish women soldiers know this—and they use it as psychological leverage on the battlefield.

    Despite their bravery, these women should not be romanticized or sexualized. They are soldiers defending their people, often stepping in when governments fail to protect them.

    Kurdish Women Soldiers: Allies of Humanity

    Kurdish troops have been crucial allies to the U.S. in the fight against ISIS. Yet, political decisions—like the U.S. abandoning Kurdish fighters in Syria—are seen as betrayals of those who shed blood defending not just their homeland, but humanity itself.

    These women wage a war against ISIS, oppression, and patriarchal systems, embodying courage, resilience, and empowerment.

    If You’ve Spent

    Years at War With Your Body

    Read This

    How to Love Your Body When You’ve Spent Years at War With It

    A raw journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance — and why loving your body is an inside job.

    The Question That Started It All

    How do you love your body as part of your self?
    I scroll past endless social media posts: women of all colors, shapes, sizes, and textures, loving themselves proudly. And I’m over here thinking… how?

    When my sister, the editor of this magazine, asked me to share my body journey, I hesitated. I’ve never felt my story was extraordinary. And honestly, I never felt safe talking about my insecurities — especially when you’re naturally thin. Try saying you don’t like your body when you “can eat anything” and see how people respond.

    The Years of War With My Body

    For 15 years, I counted calories (read: starved myself), restricted eating, over-exercised, and abused laxatives. My goal was always “perfection” — which, for me, meant skinny.
    I lived with body dysmorphia, shame, and endless guilt. Guilt for eating “badly,” guilt for skipping workouts, guilt for treating my body with such hatred. And no — hearing “but you’re so skinny” didn’t fix any of it.

    The Turning Point: Why I Started Exercising

    Three years ago, I began working out. Honestly? It started from insecurity — aesthetics first, health second (or maybe third). My now-husband said it was important to build a fit and healthy family. I was in my late 20s, my metabolism slowing, and I thought: Okay, I’ll start.

    And then… I kept going.
    For the first time in my life, I felt strong. I began to see exercise not just as a tool for appearance, but as a way to feel empowered in my body.

    The Parallel Journey: Body + Mind

    Around the same time, I dove into self-development workshops. I confronted old wounds, dismantled destructive patterns, and started building something new — in both body and mind.

    I realized:

    • Working on my body was another way to heal.
    • Strength training wasn’t just building muscle; it was building the vessel that carried me.

    From Loaft to Lifter

    Last year, I named my journey From Loaft to Lifter — because that’s exactly what happened.
    From lazy and self-destructive… to lifting weights and lifting my own spirit. From taking my body for granted… to taking my life into my own hands.

    The Work Isn’t Over

    I’m not “fully healed.”
    Some days I love my body. Other days, I criticize it. On a recent trip to Africa, I counted the days since my last workout and came home feeling bloated, 5 lbs heavier, already thinking about dieting.

    But here’s the difference now:
    I notice the thought… and I eat the pizza anyway.

    What I’m Choosing Now

    • Listening to my body instead of punishing it
    • Honoring its strength and abilities
    • Extending to myself the compassion I give to others
    • Remembering my worth has nothing to do with my appearance (and neither does yours)

    Your Turn

    I’m not here with all the answers. I’m here as your partner in this journey, asking:
    How do you love your body as part of your self?

    Let’s keep the conversation going — connect with me on Instagram @fromloafttolifter.

    The Coconut Oil Hacks

    That Changed My Skin, Hair, and

    Even My Sex Life

    7 Powerful Benefits of Coconut Oil for Skin, Hair, and Health

    From glowing skin to luscious hair and even cooking — here’s why coconut oil is one of my all-time favorite natural products (and some fun, personal tips you won’t find anywhere else).

    1. Coconut Oil for Anti-Aging and Skin Protection

    Coconut oil is a powerful natural antioxidant that helps protect, heal, and nourish skin. It can:

    • Stimulate collagen production
    • Reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles
    • Protect from UV damage (which can lead to skin cancer, sunspots, and premature aging)

    I love using it as an anti-wrinkle, anti-aging treatment — it’s simple, natural, and smells amazing.

    2. Coconut Oil for Hair Strength, Shine, and Growth

    Coconut oil is the richest natural source of medium-chain fatty acids (MCFAs), known for their antibacterial and antimicrobial benefits. It can:

    • Strengthen hair and improve elasticity
    • Reduce protein loss and damage
    • Deeply moisturize dry hair and scalp

    My go-to hair mask tip:
    On dry hair, apply a generous amount of coconut oil from roots to ends. Wrap in a plastic bag or shower cap overnight, then wash in the morning. Hello, shiny, soft hair!

    3. Anti-Inflammatory and Antibacterial Benefits

    Consuming coconut oil can help reduce inflammation in the body. When applied to the skin, it:

    • Fights bacteria and fungus
    • Protects against acne-causing pathogens
    • Softens skin with intense hydration

    As one study says, “Coconut oil can actually inhibit the growth of harmful micro-organisms that wreak havoc on your skin.”

    4. Coconut Oil as a Moisturizer, Exfoliant, and Makeup Remover

    If you’re looking for a natural skincare multitasker, coconut oil is it. It works as a:

    • Deep moisturizer for skin and scalp
    • Gentle exfoliant to remove dead skin cells
    • Pore cleanser that removes excess oil and dirt
    • Natural makeup remover — even for waterproof mascara

    5. Coconut Oil for Eczema, Scars, and Skin Repair

    Coconut oil boosts collagen production, helping:

    • Heal eczema
    • Fade scars over time
    • Support skin regeneration

    It’s my go-to for soothing irritated skin.

    6. Cooking with Coconut Oil (Gluten-Free & Vegan-Friendly)

    Cold-pressed coconut oil is 100% natural, gluten-free, and perfect for high-heat cooking. You can also:

    • Use it as a butter substitute in vegan recipes
    • Add flavor and healthy fats to meals

    7. Coconut Oil for Nursing Mothers

    A lesser-known benefit — nipple soothing for nursing moms. It can heal and protect delicate skin naturally.

    Lifehack recipe for a natural nipple cream:
    Melt together 2 tsp cocoa butter, 1 tsp olive oil, and 2 tsp coconut oil. Mix well and apply as needed.

    My Personal Coconut Oil Confession

    Coconut oil isn’t just practical — it’s part of my self-care (and sometimes my sex life). If I know I’m about to have a hot night, I’ll apply a little extra between my cheeks and around my lady parts. Why? Let’s just say… it makes everything smell and taste extra sweet.

    Why Coconut Oil Will Always Be in My Home

    Not everyone will see the same results, but for me, coconut oil is a beauty, health, and kitchen staple. I swear by it for my face, hair, and body — and I’m always finding new uses.

    Your Inner Warrior:

    Thriving Through Cancer

    One Step at a Time

    How to Face Cancer With Courage, Faith, and Unshakable Strength

    "When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears." – Tony Robbins

    Cancer: More Than a Diagnosis

    Cancer can mean many things — for some, it’s simply a horoscope sign. For others, it’s the life-changing diagnosis given to them or a loved one.
    Most of us know someone — a family member, friend, or acquaintance — who has been affected by this disease.

    According to Cancer.gov, cancer is "diseases in which abnormal cells divide without control and can invade nearby tissues. Cancer cells can also spread to other parts of the body through the blood and lymph systems."

    While those words can be intimidating, the story you tell yourself after hearing them matters more than you might think.

    Shifting the Mindset: From Fear to Warrior Spirit

    A cancer diagnosis can be earth-shattering. But what if we reframed it?
    What if, instead of seeing cancer only as a threat, we saw it as a challenge — one that calls on a warrior mentality and helps us re-prioritize what truly matters?

    It’s a tough battle ahead, yes. But you are equipped with the greatest weapon of all: faith.

    Doctors are there to help, but you are also part of the fight — whether as a patient or as the support system for someone you love.

    The Hidden Strength Cancer Can Reveal

    No one wishes for cancer, but many survivors discover something unexpected:

    • Strength they didn’t know existed
    • A deeper appreciation for life’s smallest moments
    • An unshakable belief in their resilience

    If you are surviving cancer, fighting cancer, or supporting someone through it, every emotion you feel is valid. Bad days will come — but so will days filled with gratitude, laughter, and hope.

    Fighting Cancer With Faith, Gratitude, and Grit

    Your light was made to shine — even in the darkest of times.
    Here’s how to channel that inner warrior:

    • Allow yourself to feel: Pain, fear, hope — they all have a place in the healing process.
    • Focus on gratitude: Even small moments can bring immense strength.
    • Visualize your victory: See yourself healthy, whole, and thriving.

    "Courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you." – Unknown

    Final Word: You Can Kick Cancer’s Ass

    Cancer is a beast — but you are stronger. With faith, courage, and the right mindset, you can fight with everything you’ve got and still sparkle, shine, and glow.

    You were created for this moment. Let your light burn brighter than fear.

    How Losing

    15 Pounds Abroad Taught Me the

    Truth About Beauty

    How Solo Travel and Self-Acceptance Transformed My Life

    My Experience with Body Image Abroad

    As a singer, I spent five months performing in nightclubs across China (2018–2019), followed by two months of solo travel in Thailand and Vietnam. During my time in China, I received a text from my boss demanding I lose 15 pounds in 10 days to keep my job. At 115 pounds, I was told I was “obese.” While I understood cultural differences in body perception, the pressure was overwhelming.

    I lost the weight to keep my job, but upon returning to the U.S., I realized how differently people treated me. I attracted a crowd that complimented my appearance, yet I had never felt more unhappy or insecure. This experience revealed how distorted perceptions of beauty can be—and that changing your appearance doesn’t automatically lead to self-acceptance.

    Learning to Embrace Authentic Beauty

    Living in China highlighted global beauty standards that often lack individuality. I spent so much time on makeup, considering cosmetic procedures like a nose job, but seeing the many similar faces around me helped me appreciate my unique features.

    Since then, I’ve simplified my routine, sometimes going weeks bare-faced, which feels liberating. I often receive more compliments when I’m natural. Without social media or streaming services, I was free from constant comparison and marketing pressures, helping me focus on self-awareness and authenticity.

    The Power of Solo Travel for Personal Growth

    Solo travel taught me resilience and self-discovery. Breaking my phone in Thailand left me technology-free for four days, and those became some of the most memorable days of my trip. My journey inspired others to take their first steps into solo travel, proving that personal growth often happens outside your comfort zone.

    Daily Habits That Support Mental Health and Confidence

    I’ve developed daily practices that help me stay grounded and thrive:

    • Writing three pages every morning to reflect and set intentions.
    • Committing to self-care and mental health accountability.
    • Embracing body positivity and self-love while maintaining health.

    These habits have supported my growth as a singer, songwriter, and person.

    What This Means for You

    • Changing your appearance doesn’t equal happiness—self-acceptance does.
    • Solo travel fosters independence, confidence, and perspective.
    • Small daily habits like journaling can dramatically impact mental health.
    • Embracing your uniqueness is empowering in a world obsessed with comparison.

    My experiences abroad shaped me into who I am today. While I still occasionally struggle with body image, I’ve learned to discuss it openly and celebrate growth. Solo travel and self-reflection have taught me resilience, confidence, and joy.

    Have you ever taken a solo trip that transformed your perspective? Share your story and inspire others!

    —Emma Negrete

    I Loved My Baby

    But Hated Myself:

    My Postpartum Story

    What No One Tells You About Postpartum Depression: A Mom’s Honest Journey

    From mom guilt to scary thoughts and lost identity — here’s how I survived postpartum depression and built a supportive village for new mothers.

    The Invisible Struggle of Postpartum

    When a woman becomes pregnant, congratulations pour in and gifts abound. But once the baby arrives, everyone disappears. While new moms are adjusting to sleepless nights and a transformed reality, support often fades — leaving them to navigate postpartum challenges alone.

    It truly takes a village not just to raise a child, but to help a new mom adjust to motherhood in a healthy way. Every woman’s postnatal experience is unique, but after my own battle with postpartum depression, I feel called to break the stigma and increase awareness.

    My Introduction to Postpartum Depression

    My mother first asked, “Are you experiencing postpartum depression?” I was offended at the time, but her question lingered. Later, I researched the signs online: difficulty bonding with your baby, extreme sadness, feelings of worthlessness, and guilt. I didn’t feel those applied to me. I was a stay-at-home mom, exclusively breastfeeding, and deeply bonded with my daughter.

    But as time passed, I realized I barely recognized myself. My life had become all about motherhood, and I hated it. Thoughts of harming myself or my baby occasionally surfaced. I felt isolated, afraid to speak out. Journaling became my lifeline. One night, I shared a passage from my journal with my partner — he was shocked at the depth of my thoughts and urged me to seek support.

    The Emotional Rollercoaster of Postpartum

    I loved being a mother but often didn’t enjoy it. I resented my partner, overwhelmed by responsibilities, and obsessed with my postpartum body. Stretch marks, sleepless nights, and “mom guilt” created a cycle of self-betrayal. I felt trapped, miserable, depressed, and anxious — yet afraid to admit it.

    The turning point came when a friend shared a post from a Black doula who was candid about her own postpartum struggles. The comment section was full of other moms validating their experiences. For the first time, I felt normal. I realized I was not alone.

    From Surviving to Supporting: The Birth of The Goddess Garden

    I began sharing my journey online and eventually created The Goddess Garden, a brand to educate, support, and normalize postpartum challenges. I became the friend I wished I had: visiting new moms, helping with dishes, preparing meals, or simply watching the baby so she could shower. I checked in intentionally, asking how she felt and reminding her that it’s okay not to be okay.

    Learning to Be Gentle With Myself

    Today, with a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old, my postpartum experience is different but still challenging. I breathe through scary thoughts, communicate openly with my partner, and treat my body with compassion. I’ve realized that my postpartum journey wasn’t just a struggle — it was a calling to educate, support, and shift the conversation surrounding motherhood.

    Ghosting in Dating: Why People Vanish Without a Word

    And Then He Vanished: My Ghosting Experience

    And then he vanished. Without saying a word. As if the past two months meant nothing. As if his whispered promises were meaningless. Welcome to the world of ghosting… it fucking sucks!

    What Is Ghosting?

    For those unfamiliar, ghosting is the act of abruptly cutting someone out of your life—romantically or platonically—without explanation. It’s disrespectful, hurtful, and can be emotionally damaging, especially for those with preexisting self-esteem challenges.

    Why Ghosting Is So Common Today

    Apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble make ghosting all too easy. Delete the match, and communication stops. No confrontation, no emotional discomfort for the ghoster. When the connection isn’t strong, the social consequences seem minimal.

    But here’s the truth: ghosting is pathetic behavior, plain and simple.

    Why Ghosting Bothers Me

    Ghosting frustrates me for two reasons:

    1. Avoiding honesty is cowardly. Am I really that intimidating that someone fears my reaction?
    2. Assuming I can’t handle the truth is insulting. Rejection is a normal part of life—and yes, dating is full of it.

    I’ve survived rejection. So can you.

    The Excuses Ghosters Give

    Sometimes, ghosters offer reasons like:

    • “I started seeing someone else.”
    • “My feelings got too strong.”

    Translation: they didn’t want to be honest. Excuses are weak attempts to save face. The truth is simple: a clear, respectful rejection is better than vanishing.

    Respectful Ways to Reject Someone

    Next time you feel like ghosting, try honesty instead. Some examples:

    • “Hey, I’ve enjoyed spending time together, but I don’t feel the romantic connection I’m looking for. I hope you understand. I’d love to stay friends if you’re interested.”
    • “I think you’re great and have enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t feel the emotional connection I’m hoping for. I wish you the best.”

    The key: be authentic, gentle, and respectful.

    Dating Is Hard — Don’t Make It Harder

    Every person deserves honesty and respect. Ghosting might seem easier, but in reality, it’s cowardly and hurtful. Challenge yourself to be upfront—the results may surprise you.

    Author: Talya, xox

    5 Life-Changing Lessons Every Woman Learns From Solo Travel

    Solo traveling is often underrated, especially for women who worry about safety. But when done right, it can be a spectacular, once-in-a-lifetime experience. Before you go, research your destination carefully to ensure safety. Here are 5 lessons I learned from traveling solo during my gap year, along with tips to make the most of your adventure.

    1. Confidence Grows Instantly

    Traveling alone forces you to navigate new cities, ask for directions, and interact with locals. You learn the dos and don’ts—from which neighborhoods to explore to local etiquette and the best restaurants. Confidence is your first step to traveling safely and making your journey seamless.

    2. Budgeting Skills Improve

    Solo travel teaches money management like nothing else. From finding affordable flights and accommodations to cooking your own meals and exploring local markets, you learn to stretch your dollars wisely. Efficient transportation methods—like UberPool, tuk-tuks, and monorails—become your new best friends.

    3. You Become More Assertive

    Without anyone else influencing your choices, you learn to follow your instincts. Want to climb a mountain? Go for it. Prefer a quiet morning reading at a local café? Do it. Solo travel teaches you to plan for yourself and embrace your desires unapologetically.

    4. Social Skills Skyrocket

    Being alone makes you more approachable. From compliments on your outfit in Melbourne to strangers helping you in Thailand, solo travel creates opportunities to meet new people and learn from their cultures. Pro Tip: If you’re single, apps like Tinder can add a fun, safe twist to your social adventures.

    5. Self-Awareness Deepens

    Every decision is yours, and that level of responsibility heightens self-awareness. You notice what makes you feel good and what doesn’t. This clarity helps you eliminate negative habits and focus on positive ones—lessons that stick with you long after the trip ends.

    When you combine these 5 life skills, solo travel becomes an unforgettable, transformative experience. So, when is your next solo adventure?

    The Surprising

    Truth About Wine

    and Wrinkles

    Wine and Skin: How Your Favorite Drink Affects Your Complexion

    Wine's a fascinating drink. It's been around for thousands of years and is an integral part of nearly every country and culture.

    Skin is also fascinating. As the largest organ on our bodies, it's also usually the first to show issues when something is amiss.

    Have you ever thought – while drinking a glass of wine, perhaps – about wine's effects on your skin?

    Yeah – me too. Today, let's explore the interaction between wine and skin!

    Wine and its Components

    Wine's primary biologically active component, of course, is alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant – it mimics the neurotransmitter GABA in your body and slows things down (quite literally).

    Alcohol is also – effectively – a poison.

    Taken to excess, alcohol can cause everything from a loss of consciousness to vomiting to even death. However, in moderate doses, alcohol has a hormetic effect – your body's reaction to small amounts of alcohol, especially with the other good ingredients in wine, can have positive health benefits.

    Healthy Wine and Skin Interactions

    Before we go too far, note that a lot of wine's benefits flow from, well, things other than alcohol. Some of the ingredients you'll find in wine include:

    - Resveratol: is a phenol – an aromatic organic compound – found in grape skins, raspberries, blueberries, and dark fruits. Research is ongoing, but resveratrol seems to have many beneficial effects on the body

    - Flavanols and Flavonols: are compounds found in vegetables and fruits (including today's heroes, grapes). Flavanols and their counterparts flavonols possess antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties

    - Antioxidants: are a general class of substances that resist oxidation in the body. Free radicals are a damaging byproduct of oxidation, and antioxidants can often directly block the harmful effects of free radicals in the body

    Wine's – and Its Components' – Proven Effects on Skin

    While the jury is still out, as of today, we suspect that free radicals also have pro-aging effects: they accelerate the effects of aging. Antioxidant activity in wine – whether from resveratrol, flavanols and flavonols, or other antioxidants might help us fight back a bit.

    Red wine also contains a high concentration of proanthocyanidins. Proanthocyanidins are reasonably well known for their reduction of heart disease risk, but recent research reveals they are beneficial for your body's collagen. If that holds up, in a couple of years, we might talk about how red wine helps fight wrinkles and improve skin elasticity.

    Wines – or rather, the tartaric acid in wines – also include alpha hydroxy acids. Alpha hydroxy acids have many beneficial skin effects – they can assist as a peeling agent or even treat acne.

    Commonly, AHAs are used topically for skincare, so don't run out looking for a wine prescription from your dermatologist just yet. Red wine, in particular, seems to have the right composition to help fight acne, support collagen, and keep your skin clear.

    Maybe we'll find out soon (for sure) if AHAs in wine have a beneficial effect.

    Adverse Wine and Skin Interactions

    Unfortunately, while there are proven skin benefits from the occasional glass of wine, there are also adverse effects. Wine is, after all, an alcoholic drink, and it carries the downside risks of alcohol.

    And the downsides are numerous. Let's look at the proven negative skin effects of wine and alcohol.

    Dehydration and Alcohol

    Alcohol is a mild diuretic, and in excess, it leads to dehydration. I don't need to tell you – your skin will show the effects of dehydration quickly. Even mild dehydration shows as dark circles (known as periorbital hyperpigmentation) that afflict your eyes.

    There are other signs, as well. When people are dehydrated, their skin looks dull, their eyes look variously puffy or sunken, and they can even show more wrinkles and fine lines.

    (Good reasons to avoid that third glass of wine.)

    Sleep Quality and Poor Sleep

    Admittedly, moderate drinking does have some positive effects on sleep. Alcohol decreases sleep latency, which is merely the measure of how long it takes to fall asleep. Wine also contains melatonin, a hormone responsible for helping regulate sleep in humans.

    However, excess alcohol can be disruptive... and even extremely dangerous.

    Sleep apnea is a condition where you don't take in enough oxygen during the night. Some studies show sleep apnea risk increases 25% or more with the effects of alcohol. Severe sleep apnea can be deadly, but even mild apnea means you'll be less alert and have a rough next day.

    Alcohol also disrupts sleep cycles. Alcohol reliably suppresses deep sleep – both REM (dream) sleep and slow "delta-wave" sleep that we currently believe is most restorative.

    All of those effects add up to the dark circles, dull skin, and lethargy you know and recognize in people the day after drinking.

    Other Wine and Skin Effects

    We're only just scratching the surface with the acute effects of alcohol on your skin. Alcohol over time leads to even more dire issues but also negatively affects your skin.

    Let's look at a few skin-related conditions related to chronic drinking.

    Alcohol and Skin Cancer: Some recent studies have shown that wine – and in particular, white wine – might cause or negatively influence the development of skin cancers. Scientists found significantly more melanoma cases among drinkers than in non-drinkers.

    Rosacea and Capillary Damage: The American Academy of Dermatology warns that women who have skin health concerns should think twice about drinking wine, especially white wine. It can cause varied effects on the skin such as rosacea, flushing, and redness on the face and neck, as well as capillary damage to the cheeks and nose.

    Skin Damage from Chronic Drinking: Some studies have shown that chronic drinking can cause cutaneous diseases such as eczema, psoriasis, infections, and acne. And alcoholic hepatitis – alcoholic damage to the liver – also can appear as yellowed, jaundiced skin and eyes.

    How to Plan for a Night of Drinking

    As you've seen, alcohol has plenty of negative effects on your skin, both acute and chronic.

    Hopefully, if you read this site, you're already concentrating on things to maximize your skin's appearance.

    But if you aren't keen on skipping the wine glass tonight yet want your skin to look its best tomorrow concentrate on four main things:

    1. Stay Hydrated

    Since dehydration causes many adverse skin effects, if you're going to drink, you need to make it a point to stay hydrated.

    Make sure you drink plenty of liquid and eat sufficient calories during the day before you go out. There's no need to compound your problems by starting drinking already slightly dehydrated, then ordering salty foods to fill you up.

    The old rule of "one glass of water for every alcoholic drink" also works well. Try to hew to that concept if you can; it's better to drink a bit too much fluid than try to make up for dehydration at the end of the night.

    2. Drink in Moderation

    Many of the adverse effects of alcohol are dose-dependent.

    If you do choose to forego being the designated driver, try to keep your drinking on the moderate side. Drink a mocktail or a club soda with lemon instead of getting a second glass of wine, or try to pour a limited portion.

    Oh, and if you set a limit – stick to it. Your skin (and the rest of your body) will thank you tomorrow.

    3. Take Time to Sleep and Recover

    If possible, plan your night out so you can get a full 7-9 hours of sleep. If you drank at a moderate level – even if the front part of your sleep is a bit worse than usual – your body will break down the alcohol in your sleep, and you'll hopefully catch up with some quality sleep in the second half. This will go a long way to prevent tomorrow's dark circles, tired eyes, and dull appearance.

    Also, I know I told you to stay hydrated in tip #1, but if you didn't follow that rule too make sure you hydrate before bed!

    4. Avoiding Damaging Foods Paired with Wine – and Wine's Histamines

    Wine – and red wine in particular – is full of histamines. Histamines mediate your body's response to stressors and foreign substances. Your body can make plenty on its own, but when you add external histamines on top you can easily see the effects.

    Histamines can cause everything from flushed skin to nasal congestion to headaches to terrible hangovers. If you add the effects of histamines on top of a hangover, you're doubling down on a bad day – and of course, the bad skin that follows.

    Not to belabor the point, but the foods often paired with wine also contain substances that have negative effects. Aged cheeses also contain many histamines, and crackers, spaghetti, and other common wine pairings are carbohydrate-dense.

    So – it's the wine, but it also isn't just the wine. If you aren't careful, when drinking wine, you'll be exposed to plenty of ingredients that affect your skin and complexion – even if you stop drinking after one glass.

    So?

    The old saying "everything in moderation" is certainly true when it comes to drinking wine. While wine – and especially red wine – has plenty of components that have positive skin-health effects, it also can quickly tip to the bad side.

    When you plan a night out, be sure you are moderate in your drinking. Eat a big, healthy dinner beforehand, drink a glass of water between each alcoholic drink, and get your 7-9 hours of sleep after.

    This will protect your skin's appearance – and you'll also likely thank me tomorrow.

    Gerard Paul writes about food and drink at ManyEats. He's set out to have a moderate night and had too many drinks... oh, once or twice. He'll attempt to take his own advice in the future.

    Superwoman Syndrome

    Is Real- And Its

    Ruining Your Lie

    Understanding the Superwoman Complex: Why Self-Care is Your Secret Superpower

    Introduction: Why the Superwoman Complex Exists

    Patriarchy is the glue that holds us together—but what happens when that glow is stretched too thin to hold all the loose and broken pieces? I grew up with phenomenal women who embodied resilience. A woman is a provider, homemaker, shoulder to cry on, and so much more—but where does she find her solitude?

    It’s easy to inherit the superwoman cape without understanding the mental implications it has on our lives. We strive to emulate the strong-woman image, forgetting that we are human too and need care, rest, and attention.

    What is the Superwoman Complex?

    Dr. C. Nicole Swiner defines the superwoman complex as “the false belief that one person can be all things to all people, perfectly.” The toll of this mindset can be devastating—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Constantly pushing yourself to do it all can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and long-term effects on your mental health and overall wellbeing.

    The Office on Women’s Health reports that “more than 1 in 5 women in the United States experienced a mental health condition in the past year, such as depression or anxiety.” Never accept chronic burnout as your normal—self-preservation is your first responsibility to yourself and your loved ones.

    Signs You’re Experiencing Burnout

    • Persistent fatigue and low energy
    • Forgetfulness or difficulty concentrating
    • Emotional exhaustion or feeling detached
    • Lack of motivation or joy in everyday activities

    If these red flags resonate, it’s time to prioritize your mental health and step away from the “superwoman” expectations.

    Self-Care as Self-Preservation: Practical Steps

    Mental health is the new trend worth adopting. Tag yourself into healthy practices that pull you away from the superwoman complex and reconnect with your inner self. The Office on Women’s Health reminds us: “Good mental health means you’re able to cope with daily stresses and accomplish personal goals.”

    1. Meditation and Personal Time

    Create space in your day to reflect, journal, or simply listen to music.

    2. Find Your Tribe

    Surround yourself with people who support, love, and uplift you.

    3. Learn the Power of “No”

    Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect.

    4. Self-Check-In Method

    Regularly pause to assess your emotional and mental state, especially during overwhelming moments.

    Why It Matters

    Women are magical, but not immortal. Recognizing your inner worth fosters self-awareness and emotional soundness. When you prioritize your mental health, you strengthen your ability to love better—yourself and those around you.

    Helpful Resource

    • Video guide: Meditation for Stress Relief and Mindfulness

    References

    • Swiner, C. Nicole. How to Avoid the Superwoman Complex: 12 Ways to Balance Mind, Body & Spirit. Publisher Not Identified, 2015.
    • Mental Health and Women. Womenshealth.gov, 14 May 2019.
    • Good Mental Health. Womenshealth.gov, 14 Mar. 2019.

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